My boyfriend has told me that he has booked a couple of weeks off work in February because he is thinking about going away to Malaysia on his own. I was like not again. We have been together for about a year and half and he went away last November for 3 weeks to Cambodia - 7 months into our relationship. I was ok about it because he said he had booked it before hand. He is very independent and loves travelling - he is 32 and has no commitments really. He broached the subject over dinner. We live about an hour a way from each other and see each other when we can. I have a little girl as well. Anyway he told me where he was thinking about going. I said that he can go but don't expect me to be around when he gets back. He said he wouldn't expect me to come with him because of my daughter. Which is fine but he hasn't even asked me. I know he wants to go away on his own. It doesn't say much about our relationship though. He knows the score now but i feel like rubbish. Am i being to harsh?
2007-09-30 23:28:45 · 18 answers · asked by lovely_blondelocks 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, it is hard for you to just to pack and leave when you have a daughter. He is probably just figuring that there is no need to ask, because he knows you won't be able to go. But like you, that's not the point. It's nice to be asked, even if you can't. The question is "is this what you future with him going to be like"? If it bothers you, you are going to get tired of it a lot more down the road. You said he has no committments, well, neither do you. While he's off seeing the world, live your life like he's doing. Get out and see other people. You might find that something is trying to tell you, this guy isn't the right one for you.
2007-09-30 23:48:14 · answer #1 · answered by Needtoknow 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Frankly, I don't see how him going away by himself says anything about your relationship. Some people need time to themselves and it's in no way a commentary on you and your relationship. What you said about not being there when he gets back is probably the best choice. He should not have to change himself for you and if you are having trouble accepting who he is, then you need to move on and find someone that will meet the expectations you have for a relationship.
2007-09-30 23:39:24 · answer #2 · answered by jingles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not, let be honest it seems as if he uses you when he needs you, he is using you for convenience, this is not a real relationship. Even if you had a daughter, he should still ask you and assume you would make the correct decision. You need to leave him, he clearly does not care about this relationship, when he returns do not give in. He is using you
2007-09-30 23:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Nat 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Did he contact you during the three weeks?
Postcard, text, phonecall. gift?
Sometimes harsh can give a whole new meaning to being single and crossing paths with a person willing to make you the reason for their existance!
2007-09-30 23:36:24 · answer #4 · answered by renclrk 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should just Find a new man. If He really cared for you, he would arrange to take you and your little girl away for a holiday too. You just dont know what he does if he goes away on his own...get rid
2007-09-30 23:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
No your not being out of order, He should ask you, not just assume and by the sounds of things he isnt worth waiting around isnt fair just to do that.
2007-09-30 23:40:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. You have a life and he can't expect you to put it on hold for him while he continues his life. Find a more solid relationship.
2007-09-30 23:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by luckford2004 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he is a free spirit and would like to use you as a touching base point, don't bother with him, its rude and abnoxious to even consider goin on holiday alone while leaving his girlfriend and her daughter behind, and to top it all! 3 weeks?!?!?
show him the door!
2007-09-30 23:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Jamie McC 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well it's called space, but hey there's nothing there no spark so don't be there for him on his return, life is so short move on
Regards
Ryan Dior
2007-09-30 23:49:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He is telling you what he needs, and you are telling him what you need - that is healthy. Neither of you is wrong, but unless you both are willing to adjust your needs, you are not compatible in this, very important regard.
2007-09-30 23:32:54 · answer #10 · answered by Curious1usa 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋