My mum will turn 50 next year and is still working at a restaurant in another town. Parents divorced when I was a baby and I was raised by my grandma and dad. Mum left to marry another man.We occasionally met. We (me and siblings) had bad experience with mum in the past. Let's say that she didn't care at all about our progress, education improvement, etc.. but after learning about mum (her mum also abandoned her and she didn't finish high school), I can't put the blame fully on her. I'm thinking of renting a small place for her and help her setting up a small shop (more like a newsagent on the street). However, all cousins call me stupid and so do my siblings. She has a 15 yr old son from her husband who passed away 3 yrs ago (heart attack). So...is this too much? My brother said I'd better put the money for my future first (buy a car, I still go by bus/taxi).
2007-09-30 22:51:28 · 14 answers · asked by Ananya 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My advise to you is to follow your heart. My mom wasnt that great but if I had the means to help her out I would in a heartbeat. You only get one mother, and she is not promised to be there tomorrow. I don't really know to the extent of mistreatment your mother put you through. I wouldnt hand over money especially if one of her main issues had to do with an addiction of any kind. Don't listen to your cousins if they say you shouldn't because thats not their mother. If the roles were reversed they would do the same.
Follow your heart, If its going to damper you financially DONT DO IT. But if you got it and you love your mother enough to do it for her, I say Go for it.
2007-09-30 23:03:17 · answer #1 · answered by Punkindoodle's Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your mum want to run a small shop or are you trying to help her find better work? Do you think she can handle such a change? Does she have enough experience?
You are not stupid for wanting to help you mum despite the way she has let you & your siblings down. I think most people want to help their families no matter what.
Perhaps, you should give yourself time to think it over & she is she has the skills & support to run her own business.
In the meantime, see if there are public agencies that can help her (e.g. job skill training programs for adults, support groups) & your half brother (e.g. mentoring programs, scholarships, tutoring).
Continue to save your money and think about ways to make your life better so you are in a position to help others even more in the long run.
Good luck & God bless you for being so kind.
2007-10-01 06:01:29 · answer #2 · answered by Treadstone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!! Do what your heart tells you. Helping your mom even though she left you eversince you were still a baby, so what?! Nothing is wrong in doing that. What's wrong in helping your mom? Ignoring her won't bring back the time for her to pay it, anyway. If I were in your place, I could have also do the same. I salute you girl!
2007-10-01 06:04:37 · answer #3 · answered by Genevieve A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do what u thinks right me i would look after my own family now she had all the chances she wanted listen 2 your family and talk with out hate you know some one ain't gonna like what ever happens whud she do it for u or your family f##k it don't do it spend it on your self and kids there the ones that mater she don't deserve it any way just coz she was left as a child don't make it right for her 2 leave u any way you ain't leaving your kids r u she had a choice she didn't help so don't help her let her get on with her nice life she left all u for
2007-10-01 10:07:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With all your heart to help,be sure what you will do is helping,sometimes it doesn't,to settled yourself in a great way of helping her,so that you can help her in a best way of life to be for you,just learned from her mistakes&let happens a good life for your children,still don't lose your Respect as you respect ourselves,being a parent we did not chose,they chose us a children,no one is to blame,we can make ourself better than anyone,God'speedingraces upon to you...
2007-10-01 06:22:44 · answer #5 · answered by Alexischael 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is great that you want to help your mum considering everything you have been through.
I think you need to take care of yourself first and when you are financially able to help out then that is your choice. Will you gain anything financially from this shop?
2007-10-01 05:57:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her, but don't do anything that will disrupt you financially. Then you will still be holding a grudge. Let her find her own way. Pray for her. You're not stupid. Sounds to me like you have God in your heart.
2007-10-01 05:56:43 · answer #7 · answered by thinkaspell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You know I have similar problem,only thing is my mom has breast cancer. I sometimes don't want to "be there" for her because she was never there for me as I kid, I do it because regardless she's my mom, and I still care about her. You should try to get to know her better maybe it's not what you think and she might have her reasons. Good luck!!
2007-10-01 05:58:09 · answer #8 · answered by Blujeenz♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The matter is not 50/50 with parents. It is either you do your best for them.............or..................lose them forever. What ever the quality of these people is, they remain the one who brought us to life. It desreves some effort to try to understand them and why they did like that.
2007-10-01 05:58:27 · answer #9 · answered by My-E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
2007-10-01 07:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋