Going out getting pissed with boys when I say im "staying at a mates"..smoking weed..doing STUFF with boys..almost getting arrested by the police..sneaking out the house.
She had NO RIGHT reading it, but I can understand that she would be mad at me for doing what I did. She said that Im not allowed to sleep at anyones house ever again but how long do you think it will last? One I got caught shop lifting and we sorted it by the next day. And once I ran away and my parents said I was grounded for 3 months..but I went out the weekend after..
By reading this what do you think??
2007-09-30 22:35:37 · 44 answers · asked by Yorkshire Gurlie ♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I know people who are worse than me!! ..My cousin is 16 (the same age as me) and pregnant..i know people who have done weed and got drunk YOUNGER than me!!
2007-09-30 22:49:06 · update #1
I think your parents aren't tough enough on you.
2007-09-30 22:38:03 · answer #1 · answered by livinfortheweekend2 6 · 9⤊ 2⤋
I think its going to take a long time for your mum to trust you again. Once you have gone against her trust, it does cause major problems. I would just accept that she has found out - you were silly in putting it on the computer where she could read it. Why didnt you put it in a normal diary which could be hidden, or give your file on the computer a name that only you would know what is in that file? The fact that she has found out you are drinking and smoking weed and doing stuff with boys is a bit more serious in her eyes than shoplifting and running away. You say your sister was pregnant at an early age, well she is probably worried that you will end up the same. You are only going to earn her trust by things like helping out in the house, doing as you are told when you are told, and generally being a nice, loving child again. Why dont you calmly ask her to sit down with you to talk this over and how you can earn her trust again. Explain how sorry you are and that you really do want to change. DONT get moody if you dont like what she says, stay calm, and accept it, then she will realise you are TRYING to act a bit more grown up and will start to let you out again a lot sooner that she would if you just argue, get moody, dont follow house rules. When you are allowed out again, keep her on side by telling her where you are going (genuinely, not bullshit), who you are going with and ASK her what time she wants you back (rather than you saying you will be back at such and such a time), then make sure you ARE back at the time she has given. Be prepared for her to want you back earlier than usual, just go with the flow and she will realise that you do want to be trusted again. Dont hassle over staying out at a friends, i think it will be a long while before you can do this again because you wrote stuff about what you do with boys. Try to be the best child that you can, and she will eventually come round, but if you argue and pressure, you wont be going out for a long long time.
2007-09-30 23:00:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are headed in the wrong direction and that your Mom is very concerned with the choices you are making. You've been caught shoplifting (and how was that sorted out the next day??); this is a crime and you need to be held responsible for it. You ran away and were supposed to be grounded for 3 months but got away with no real consequences. I don't blame your Mom for telling you that you can't sleep over at anyone's home when you are not being responsible and are making choices to "smoke weed", do "stuff" with boys (major problem for all sorts of reasons and you know those reasons!!). I think you need to analyze for yourself what you are doing. You are breaking the law, sneaking around and lying about it, smoking pot and getting involved sexually with boys. You could end up pregnant or with a sexually transmitted disease which could make you unable to have children or at risk for a life of health issues, some leading to cancer; you could end up being in all kinds of trouble and maybe even in jail with a record. For whatever reason, your Mom doesn't seem to follow through when she makes rules and gives punishments. So far, you have made the choice to break the rules (and your Mom has not enforced her punishments). Can you blame your Mom for being concerned? The problem isn't that you left your diary on the computer and your Mom read it, it's that you are screwing up your life and you need to stop now before it is too late. Your Mom should be looking into what you are doing and she should know where you are. Her responsibility as a parent is more important than how you feel about what took place and how she found out what you were doing. Parents love their children and want the best for them. You need to have direction and rules in order to learn what is appropriate and what is not. Apparently there has been no direction in your life since you are doing all kinds of things that could destroy your reputation and put you in harm's way. You need to think about what you are doing and how much your reputation is worth to YOU. I have no idea how old you are but, it sounds to me as if you are not yet an adult and that you need to straighten out before you end up destroying your life. Please trust your Mom and end the reckless behavior you are choosing.
2007-09-30 23:00:03 · answer #3 · answered by turkeybrooknj 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
at 16 i think you mum has every right to be mad with you, and i hope she Carry's on being mad.
Alcohol is something all kids try but it will damage your health, so don't drink to much. As for smoking well that's stupid, more and more people die from smoking, i have just watched my mum die of cancer, probably cause from smoking when she was your age, even thought she stopped 13 years ago, it is not , dangerous, expensive.
Your mum shouldn't read your diary, but, she most of had her reasons, and from what you have said, i understand why. I think you need to grow up and start acting a bit more responsibly.
Sorry if you dont like the answers that you have been given, but sit down and have a long think about what you have said , and try to imagine what you would do if you was your mum!
2007-10-01 00:59:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello Beckii,
Although I believe your mother betrayed your trust by reading your diary, I also believe it was a blessing that she did.
I also feel that you betrayed her trust in doing what you did. She trusted you when you were out alone and you must agree that you let her down badly.
The reason I say it was a blessing is because it allows you with the help and support of your mother to change the way you have been acting. I am also sure you will agree that what you have been doing is very silly and immature.
Did you go out a week later with or without you mum's blessing and did you act responsibly?
I admire you for agreeing that your mother had a right to be angry, concerned and disappointed in you even though she should not have read your diary.
My advice is to do everything you can to change and to prove to your mum that you have changed. Show her that she can begin to trust you again and that you are mature enough not to go off the rails.
If you have 'friends' that lead you on and encourage you to do what you have been doing, dump them and find some decent ones.
This will help you, your mum and make you feel good about yourself.
Please don't think I am moralising as I am not. I am well aware of how easy it is to fall in with a 'bad crowd' and get drawn into things, often without realising it.
Good luck and I wish you well.
John
(Poseidon)
2007-09-30 23:01:07 · answer #5 · answered by Poseidon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well I'm 56 so am not quite on your wave length however I would urge you to temper your way of life. It is not funny to shop lift - actually because people shop lift it puts up the prices in the shops to cover the losses of the shopkeepers. You will become labelled and this label will stay with you for life - you cheapen yourself but it must be the society in which you live. Your mother seems to be quite reasonable - I think it would be better for you to be supportive of her rather than rebellious. Smoking weed leads to worse as you get older - current research is indicating that taking drugs can lead to schizophrenia this in turn could lead you to a life in prison. Sex with many and varied partners can cause uterine cancer - then you get no life. Perhaps this has given you a chance for a great big wake up call - grab it with both hands. But then I'm an older woman why listen to me? Hope you do for the sake of your family let alone yourself.
2007-09-30 23:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by stef 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should count yourself lucky that your parents are as soft as they obviously are and take what's coming your way with good grace, although based on what you've said I suspect it will be a minimal punishment.
It would be a mute point if you were living my house because you wouldn't have had a computer to be writing your diary on if I'd caught you shoplifting, believe me!
Personally you'd be grounded, with no TV, private computer time or mobile phone and you'd be allowed out in future only if I had confirmed all details with another adult-and I was collecting you at a pre-arranged point.
The chances of you stopping over at anyone's house would be about the same as plaiting snot in a high wind.
If you genuinely want to resolve this like an adult then I think you need to respect your parents the way you expect to be respected.
2007-09-30 23:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
On the one hand she did invade your privacy, but she is your Mum and she'd rather know you were safe.
Smoking weed? Don't do any other drugs. Getting drunk? Don't be stupid. Don't get so drunk that you black out. Ever. And mind your drinks.
Doing stuff with boys ... Do it safely. I don't know how old you are or what you're doing, but be safe.
Arrested by the police? Come on ...
Sneaking out of the house? We've all done it ...
What good things are you doing? Are you getting all your schoolwork done, and keeping your marks up? Are you pulling your weight in the house? These are also important.
Respect the fact that your mother only wants you to be safe and well and not get yourself into trouble or danger. Life is about taking risks, yes, but these should be calculated. And not involve doing stupid, dangerous or unhealthy things.
2007-09-30 22:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
By "your" computer I presume you mean the one your mother has paid for? That aside, your mother has every right to do what she has done, as she obviously cannot trust you an inch. If you have the sense to understand why she is mad at you, then why do the things you do? As for the shoplifting, if you continue as you are, you will eventually have a criminal record. So being grounded won't be your biggest problem will it? You will find yourself at home, unable to get a job, so your smoking and drinking days will be over as you will not have the money to pay for them.
Remember you live in a house your mother pays for you eat the food she pays for and cooks for you! Do you want to be a dope head? an alcoholic? a teenage mum? If that is as far as your ambition stretches then you are on the right road kid. Grow up and behave.
2007-10-02 04:05:50 · answer #9 · answered by Mazanb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your parents are no way near tough enough.
Sounds like it will all be forgotten shortly so it's your choice if you continue to ruin your future prospects by shop lifting and doing drugs (a criminal record could have a big impact on finding a job in the future), getting drunk and messing round with boys will undoubtedly lead to unwanted pregnancy or possibly rape. You don't say how old you are but if you have access to drugs and alcohol I would hope you're old enough to have the courage to make your own mind up if it's a good thing to do or not.
Good luck with your life and remember you only get one chance, what you do now will have an impact for ever.
2007-09-30 22:52:34 · answer #10 · answered by kittycymraeg 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think your Mum is totally right. If you were my daughter I would be so strict with you now that I probably would not let you out the house with me being there.
Your Mum will have lost all trust in you (which she has ever right to do) and you need to earn her trust back by being responsible and reasonable.
You are her daughter and it is her job to protect you from bad things. Drugs, Drinking alcohol and 'stuff' with boys is some seriously bad stuff at your age.
You need to seriously sort your life out before you go too far down the wrong paths in life.
2007-10-04 08:50:55 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋