i dumped my bf.. now what?

Question

ok so i dumped my bf of 15 months now... what do i do now? i wasnt over him but the relationship was not working nemore. all my girlfirends are all coupled up and arnt reli there for me that much anyway.. i feel reli lost and lonely and i duno what im gunna do without having him rite there by my side.. i need closure :S will this stop :'(

Answer 1

Even if you dumped him you can't really expect yourself to be completely fine with it after you were together for 15 months.

Think of it this way. Like when you go to get your wisdom teeth removed. Your doing it because its going to mess up a lot in your mouth and it has to go, but when you get it done it hurts like hell for weeks afterwards.

Yes the time lines different, but the analogy works. You needed him gone because he wasn't working out and it would mess up more in your life in the long run if you kept going at it instead of ending it. Yes your in pain, but it'll fade.

I feel bad for you that your mates arn't around to help pick you back up. That's terrible. However you'll be just that more stronger if you get yourself through this. Trust me there's nothing more annoying than someone constantly confiding in his friends for advice on how to get over a loved one.

Pat yourself on the back for doing the hard, but healthy thing for yourself. Slowly learn to smile at the good memories you had with him but place them in the past. If anything use what you learned from him as a president for your next realationship.

I will tell you some things not to do though.

1) Go back: This is the easiest thing to do and many girls/guys do it. You either rush back to the ex, or you try and get together with a past ex. Remember they are your EX for a reason, and that reason's still there. If you search your past for answers you'll never uncover what the future holds.

2) Rebound: This is just stupid and so many people do it. They'll meet up with somone at a party and see their into them. They'll hook up throw a title (GF/BF) on their fiasco and act happy for a month or so. Then they break up and wonder why they ever did it in the first place. This will leave at least one person feeling very empty. Even if your not that person you should feel horrible for doing it. 9/10 rebound relationships occur when one person doesn't know their in it. The other usually ends up regretting the relationship to the point they never wished it happened. The only reason this works is because the failed relationship only points out to the person they arn't ready for one because their either still thinking about their ex, not ready to be committed again, or still have the problem that caused their first breakup. Either way its a lose lose situation and your better off without it.

3) Don't go over pictures and memento items of your ex. Nothings easier to cry over than that picture of you two kissing in the mall photo booth. Or maybe that stuffed bear he got you last Christmas. Memory filled items are at this stage poison on your road to closure. Stuff them in a box and send them home to your rents. When your married, with kids, and one of your youngsters drags that old dusty box down from the attic, that's the time to use these items. Not before.

4) Don't play ditch. If you see him walking around don't do a 180 and head for the nearest ally. It'll make things really akward later on. Be the bigger person and smile when he's around if he asks questions or says hi answer, just don't do it in a way that leaves an open door for a conversation. You'll thank yourself for this later on as it seems to reduce rumors spread of you acting like a ()*&) to possible future prospects.

5) Don't play the item game: True I said box the stuff that reminds him of you but their limits. The stuffed bear, box. The kissing photo's...yea box. But going through facebook and deleting every photo that has you and him in it? Yea the ones with his arms around you. But that Thanksgiving pic with him chatting it up with Uncle Stan and you've got your bright smiling face looking at the camera from the opposite end of the table? Don't waste that photo. I had a friend who went about packing away the things that reminded her of her BF. It took us together five hours to do it. Then we spend the rest of the evening unpacking when she realized she had practically packed away her apartment.

6) His friends are no longer your friends. If you several people you consider good friends through your EX with whom he's best friends with its time to end social ties. I know it sucks your mates arn't around, but that doesn't mean you can take his from him. Remember loyalty, everything you say or do will most likely be reported back to him, and you don't want him to know you're having a hard time, espically since you ended it.

Bottom line? Try and get atleast one of your mates to help you out. Go out and do some stuff. If your friends don't want to help you its time to find new ones. Have a girls night. Go to the club to just dance. Catch that new movie everyone's talking about. Go on that trip you couldn't before. There's so many things you can do when you're single you can even think of when your tied down. Remember eventually you'll find another to stand at your side even more so than your ex. Then you'll smile and realize it was all worth while.

Answer 2

Why do you need closure? You ended the relationship because it wasn't working - you shouldn't have to rely on friends to keep you occupied. Go out and meet other people, get a hobby and just enjoy the time you have to youself.

Answer 3

Why do you girls think that relationship can work for itself?
Now you have dumped him, there is no point sobbing about that. It was your own choice so heads up and start a new life and be careful about whom you trust and love. Love works when both the wheels keep churning steadily. Don't be hasty or too quiet about what you feel.

Answer 4

I think you did the right thing! So light up! If your friends are coupled, then find new friends. I have friends but I really enjoy going out with the company of myself. Try to enjoy your company, theres nothing wrong of shopping alone, dining alone, and having a good time alone. In fact its liberating, you'll love yourself more.

Answer 5

get out there more and have some fun . Do you have a dog ? go to the dog park there are plenty of single men out at the dog park . go to the park period and take a nice long walk . I could always find something to do when I was single . Just got to put yourself out there. good luck .

Answer 6

hey...it happens whenever you are out of a relationship...you feel kind of empty...don't worry it will take some time as it's said time's the best healer...try to mingle with people a bit...if your friends are not there for you, try to make new acquaintances...you may not like mingling like that at once, it'll take some time...do what you like doing..find out what exactly excites you, makes you happy...indulge, feel good about your yourself...love yourself first and you might jsut stumble upon your prince charming..
take care and my best wishes...

Answer 7

ur bf isnt worth it, go find someone who is! dont feel lonely and lost because of him.. smile and think positive, ur life isnt gunna end just cos u dont have him anymore

Answer 8

it sounds harsh but the best way to get over a man is a man move on theres plenty more out there

Answer 9

injoy time with you and do the things that you want to do and if a guy comes along well thats good to.

Answer 10

if u think u did the right thing then give it time it wont happen over night if not then try to work things out