Me and my wife have had our ups and downs like everyone else, but she thinks being bipolar is just my excuse to act the way I do.She feels if I would just try harder everything would be roses.It's really frustrating because I get discouraged and want to just give up! I try to get on track with meds and all but she is constantly on my back to the point I feel if the meds aren't working well enough to satisfy her why bother?
2007-09-30 21:40:12 · 6 answers · asked by maitraya 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Okay, I am going to settle myself in here, in order to give a "good" answer.
First, I "went to school" on this issue of "what is bipolar disorder?" I googled and found a few books in the library that is my house, that helped me here. This is a disease that results in rapid mood change, with episodes being on a range of great intensity. Basically, a person with this disease can find themselves going from a neutral emotional state, (or not), to one of a great high or low. (There is mania, which is great joy, or depression, which is entire lack of joy, apparently.)
Mood stabilizers are the "meds" generally referred to by the wider community.
I will open by saying that the true effect of these meds are unclear, and are only helpful if their dosing is appropriate to the individual, and carefully regulated AND regularly taken.
Next, I will say that I hope you haven't used your affliction as any kind of excuse. I would think that you haven't, my friend, but what's said in the heat of the moment, in a real world sense, can be lightyears away from how we express ourselves when we are in a calm relaxed state. Don't give up on yourself!
Also, I would think, just my feeling here, but I don't think your lady feels "everything would be roses." She probably feels that things improve only when we put in the work. She needs to see your daily struggle as the workload that it really is, and I think you need to tell her how hard you are working.
Communicate with her, man! She is your woman, and deserves it, and you deserve all of her best, that you can only get by talking with her, and not to her.Let her know about your frustrations, let her soothe you, let her know what you need, so she can give it to you.
Dam*it man, satisfy her, and she will work to satisfy you.
That's it here, except for this...Remember to try a little tenderness!!
Good Luck and Goddess Bless.
2007-10-01 07:39:20 · answer #1 · answered by earthcaress 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure how long you two have been married but if its been less than a year I'd wager she probably never really realized that you are the way you are. There's nothing she can do about that and probably doesnt realize that. Which could be why she thinks its just an excuse; she might not realize that its not - unless you've used it against her when it wasn't really the reason something was happening the way it did.
If its been longer than a year - longer than a few years - I'd say maybe you should casually suggest relationship counceling. I know it sounds corney but they can help. If you're sick of her always getting on your back for things that you cant help then shes probably realzied it and maybe she's sick of it too but in a way doesnt realize it could be her fault that its the way it is.
You two got married because you love each other and love takes work. Don't give up so soon just because she might not understand. Marriage is a bond, a commitment that is a promise to one another than you'll try to make it last. So when you ask "why bother" think of all the things that are worth it. There is always going to be something to argue about...
A gardner who loves his flowers does not love weeds. But when he finds a weed he doesn't give up on his garuden; he spends more time in it to fix it.
(oh yea i just made that one up. go me (LOL))
GOOD LUCK.
2007-10-01 04:58:53 · answer #2 · answered by Cupcake 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you aren't taking your meds, then I would be very upset at you. Go see the doctor to have your meds evaluated. Maybe you need a change in them. If you want this marriage to work you and your wife are going to need to sit down and find out how you can work this out. Otherwise, it isn't going to work.
2007-10-01 08:14:56 · answer #3 · answered by Simmi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may benefit from talking to others who have a spouse with bi polar. Is there such a group near you? You know, a support group? I feel if she learnt to understand the disease better, she would be more tolerant.
2007-10-01 06:14:37 · answer #4 · answered by teatotler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep on, don't give it up.
2007-10-01 05:54:32 · answer #5 · answered by mayor r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't give up on that.
good luck.
2007-10-01 04:49:23 · answer #6 · answered by mina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋