If I don't like my fiance's brother for some reasons, can I just not invite him? My fiance of course wants him to be there, but he basically will agree with everything I say. What will you do if you were me? Do you think my fiance's parents will hate me if I didn't invite the brother to my wedding?
2007-09-30 19:54:29 · 24 answers · asked by ViTheDuck 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well, since you said you don't like him "for some reasons" it seems like you don't know why (or you can't say?). I could be wrong though, so I'm sorry if I am. But, if he hasn't done anything wrong towards anyone, I would invite him to keep the peace. Not inviting him could and probably will cause tension within the family. And I don't think you'll want to start off your new life with your husband like that. It's only one day. You won't have to be with your future brother in law the entire time at the wedding. Do it for your fiance. I'm kind of in the same situation as you with not wanting to invite someone. But instead of his brother, I don't want to invite his father. This man is very stubborn, rude, inconsiderate, selfish, hardheaded, and doesn't like me because he blames me for a fight he very well started between him and my fiance regarding a way he treated me. Even though everyone in his family told him he was in the wrong, he still thinks I am at fault. He and my fiance didn't talk for the longest time but eventually made up. His father has yet to apologize to me. I can't stand him, but since he is my fiance's father and he wants him there, I will set aside my feelings and invite him. I hope everything works out for you, whatever you decide in the end.
2007-09-30 22:28:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mekana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So if the brothers - sorry, HALF brothers - don't even care about each other, what's the big deal about keeping your future mother-in-law happy and inviting the guy? He most likely won't show up and then you will have shown some class. If he does appear, then perhaps he has matured a lot over the past year and would attend to help make the peace. You win either way. And, btw, if the guy shows up and behaves and acts like a brother should, and your fiance throws a hissy fit, then it is not the other brother who is immature. Think about it. If your guy is mature enough to get married, he should be mature enough to act like a man at his own wedding.
2016-05-17 22:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if you don't like your fiance's brother, you should still invite him. He's (going to be) your family, so you'll have to deal with him sooner or later. Do you really want to be seen as the bad guy? The brother can hold this over your head for the rest of your life!
Just invite him. If you think he is going to make a scene or get really drunk, then ask your fiance to talk to him before the wedding and tell him that is not going to be tolerated on the wedding day.
2007-10-01 04:12:28 · answer #3 · answered by LSU_Tiger23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Check this out.
Usually when we don't like someone it is because we see something of ourselves that we don't like in them.
It is easier to blame the other person than face ourselves.
Marriage is a tough road without petty drama. Why would you start out your new life with one foot in your mouth.
The reality is that the wedding is not only for the bride and groom but for the families of the bride and groom to get to know each other. You may have noticed at others weddings that the wedding couple dance, cut the cake and then are sent off to their honeymoon, then the party goes on. Without them. Note they leave and everyone else parties!
Marriage is part of maturity. or at least should be. If you can't handle the family maybe you should not be getting married but spend some more time growing up.
Mature action is not decided by who you like or dislike, but in how you treat people you don't like with civility and how you respect the people that you do like so that all can enjoy without drama.
Con-grads and good luck.
2007-09-30 20:17:29 · answer #4 · answered by noyoungun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a really bad question. Come on, unless you dislike your fiance's brother because he murdered your family, yes you invite him to the wedding. You said yourself that your faince' wants him there, for you to be petty and not invite him would be a big indicator to your fiance' that you are a selfish jerk. And yes your fiance's parents would be hurt and insulted by this, and rightfully so. Grown up.
2007-10-01 03:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by L H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Advice along the lines of "This is YOUR day and you should have everything YOUR way" should be ignored. Your sense of duty to your family, your groom's family, and your guests should far outweigh the temptation to wallow in self indulgence.
2) No adult member of either the bride's or groom's immediate family should be excluded UNLESS that person has a persistant history of criminally violent behavior. Mere unpleasantness isn't serious enough to rate an exclusion.
3) Every wedding should have an unofficial "enforcement squad," several physically imposing people who have agreed to "help" any guest who "becomes unwell" to "go outside for some fresh air" and otherwise prevent this person from creating further disturbance.
4) Of course they'd hate you. Even if it weren't a family member, you simply don't use your wedding guest list to, in effect, make a public announcement of who you do or don't like, get along with, approve of, etc.
2007-10-01 01:34:46 · answer #6 · answered by kill_yr_television 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry but you have to invite your fiance's brother - he is very close family, a brother! You can't not invite him. You will just have to put up with it, it's only for one day then you don't have to see him regularly if you don't want. Do you really want to cause huge problems and get on your fiance's and in-law's wrong side? Yes, they will all hate you. I wouldn't marry anyone who said my immediate family such as siblings, could not come. Just put up with it.
2007-09-30 20:17:00 · answer #7 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, think about it.. do you have any siblings? and if so (or if not) imagine that your fiance doesn't like them and wouldn't want them to come to the wedding, how would that make you feel??? i could never not invite someone from my fiance's family to my wedding, even if i don't like them.. i'd try my hardest to get along with that person as best i can!!!!
2007-09-30 19:57:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well my one of my boyfriends brothers won't be invited to ours. (Due to obscene tattoo on his neck and he's an overall redneck) He is from a family of like 20 kids so no one would notice. However if it was one of my two brothers I know my family would care. Believe me I understand, but maybe sticking him at a crappy corner table at the reception or ignoring him may be a better option. These people are going to be your family. You don't want to start your new life with drama. Good Luck with your future brother-in-law.
2007-09-30 20:30:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is an important member of your fiance's family and for that reason alone, regardless of how you feel about him, he should be invited to the wedding.
2007-09-30 19:58:49 · answer #10 · answered by Belen 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋