My boyfriend is in a wedding coming up. I was wondering if I should go to the rehearsal dinner with everyone. I don't want to show up unexpected. I would ask the groom but I know he is CLUELESS. Also the wedding is a few hours away and we will be driving together. What should I do while all the groomsmen get ready? I only know the bride a little so hanging with the girls is not an option. What do people usually do in these situations. We have always been in the same weddings, and the one I was in without him he hung with the groomsmen anyways while they got ready. Sorry this is so long, but I really just want to follow etiquette.
2007-09-30 18:50:43 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have been with my boyfriend for eight years, and the wedding he is in is one of my best friends. However this is a rushed wedding so there really hasn't been time to get to know the bride well. However I do know the bridesmaids are doing the decorating 'cause the wedding isn't until 6. Also the rehearsal is two days before hand so we'll drive in and go home. The bride told me to make sure my boyfriend was at the church on time and he has not been told a word about the dinner. The groom thinks I should go (I just saw him) but his pregnant soon to be wife is crazy emotional and I REALLY don't want to upset her.
2007-09-30 20:14:32 · update #1
oh and the wedding is about an hour deep into cornfield country. So no joke NOTHING for at least an hour except gas stations. (good luck finding the couple there are) I live in the nearest "city" and I'm about three hours away.
2007-09-30 20:21:38 · update #2
I would think that you could go to the rehearsal dinner, but why don't you ask you boyfriend to find out if the other grooms men are taking their partners??
As for what to do why they get ready, maybe you can go to a cafe or something, or do sme shopping....
2007-09-30 18:54:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Kind of have to agree with the dude above me there. I mean its great you both been invited to be in weddings and stuff before and together. But seriously if he was the only one that is in the wedding, I do believe you should be a good gf and get him there early so he doesn't miss being in action the day of the wedding. And no offense last I knew, if you weren't part of the wedding you shouldn't be at the rehersal dinner. I'm sure your boyfriend is a big boy and can go to the dinner by himself and then come home and tell you about it. So all you have to do is pick out a nice dress and sit in the back of the church or wherever during the ceremony and give your bf some support while he is in the wedding. Other than those two things there isn't much else you should be doing until the bride or the groom invites you to be in the wedding too and you can be in the rehersal dinner. Have fun and pick out a nice dress for the wedding.
2007-09-30 19:01:00 · answer #2 · answered by Cursed_Romantic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe the proper etiquette unless stated usually is just the wedding party, family, and maybe a few very close friends(Just read the post above me great minds think a like). However having said that you are traveling together and assume you might be staying somewhere the night and (since the rehearsal dinner is the night before and you are a few hrs away) It would of been nice if arrangements had of been made for traveling guest like your self.Maybe you could ask your boyfriend to ask the couple(not just the groom) if they mind if you come to the rehearsal dinner as you did travel together and that you don't many people in the area. As for when the boyfriend is getting ready if you see someone setting up things for the wedding offer to help that would pass some time.Or do what ever you feel comfortable with. Hope you have a nice time.
2007-09-30 19:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by Wen * 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
depending on where the rehersal dinner is, some people choose a really posh restaurant where reservations are required...if this is the case, you best let your boyfriend go alone to the rehersal dinner unless you can make sure you get a reservation. If the groom is clueless, ask for his mothers number or the mother of the bride's number (the mom's always know everything...sometimes they're more detail specific than the bride!!) ... you cannot really just show up for this without checking to see if it's alright first.
While the groomsmen are getting ready, you could just grab a coffee elsewhere and have him call you or meet you at the church. It could be really awkward hanging out with the groomsmen and groom while they're getting ready - you might just be in their way.
2007-09-30 18:59:15 · answer #4 · answered by miss_j 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Typically an event such a a wedding rehearsal is an RSVP situation and if you are not on the guest list it would be inappropriate to attend. The couple or their parents are paying for this and it would not be proper to ask them to pay for you when you are not a part of the rehearsal. If this had been (as is sometimes done) an open rehearsal dinner where out of town guests were invited you would have already known that. I wouldn't go. I'm sure you can find something to fill the time (Hey there's probably something cool going on in the town it's in. Call the Chamber of Commerce to check into area happenings....
Good luck
2007-09-30 19:00:19 · answer #5 · answered by Born in the USA 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Unless you are specifically invited, I would not attend the rehearsal dinner. Whenever this situation happens with me, I usually take off to go shopping while the groomsmen get ready or he's doing something with the wedding party. Then come back in time for the wedding ceremony.
2007-09-30 18:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by lordmisrule2004 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, you probably wouldn't go to the rehearsal dinner unless specifically invited.
When the groomsmen get ready, you stay at the hotel - depending on where they are getting ready - or just go to the church early.
You just have to realize that you'll be spending a lot of time hanging around while he is very busy with things.
2007-10-01 01:57:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To my understanding on etiquette, the only people that attend the rehearsal dinner are those in the actually bridal party and the bride and grooms parents and then maybe the bride and groom's siblings---that's it. Reason being, it is usually custom for the groom's parents to cough up the bill. Have him give you the car keys so you can cruise around on your own for a bit or hang at the hotel.
2007-09-30 19:36:46 · answer #8 · answered by a jaded angel 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem my soon to be was in his sister wedding ( at the time I was new to the family). I drove with him,all dressed up and ready. I brought a book and found spot to sit and read for a little bit. Then I got board and wondered down the block to grab a quick bite to eat at McD's. Here I am dressed up for an evening wedding at 3 in the afternoon sitting reading a book in the corner of McD's. Here is what I suggest check out what is near by and look around, take a good book. Good luck to you.
2007-10-01 06:55:08 · answer #9 · answered by typicalcagirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Were you INVITED to the wedding? if not, stay home.... your boyfriend will be BUSY at the wedding and will not have a LOT of time until after the "ceremonial stuff" is over to be with you... since you don't know the bride that well or if you won't know many of the people attending the wedding, you would feel VERY out of place being alone ... ... If you WERE invited, then go but do expect to be sitting with people you may not know and only be able to be around your boyfriend at the reception AFTER like I said, the "ceremonial stuff" is completed....
2007-09-30 18:59:30 · answer #10 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You behave like a gracious guest and chat up the people who have come to the wedding and if you are that kind of person, ask if there is any way you can help.
You need to ask about the rehearsal dinner because it costs someone some money and if the groom is clueless, then ask him who to ask.
2007-09-30 18:55:04 · answer #11 · answered by Mike1942f 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋