Female frustration, I’m at my wits end. Why is the big secret that keeps me from meeting someone nice?

Question

I’m 20 yrs old, 5’7 130 and HAVE NEVER HAD A GIRLFRIEND. I try and play the game but the rules keep changing. First it’s personality over prestige, so I try to let go of inhibitions, not leaving reality completely, and I’m ignored for not being more concerned with the latest fashion or a nice car, so I slightly tilt the scale to prestige over personality, and buy a new mustang GT and plan my wardrobe like a chess move and then I’m ignored for lacking personality. My god, am I that repulsive, do I sound like a cement grinder, do I smell? What the hell am I missing? I don’t get it I don’t try to “hook-up” I try and ask if they would like to go get coffee or ice cream, instead of what seems to be the modern first date idea “Can I get you drunk sometime?” A lot of women will do horribly disgusting thing on film for the whole world to see for a pittance of a paycheck, yet coffee with me? My god, what would my family think? I’m not just trying to get laid or find someone hot, a girl can be hot yet not attractive to me, I’m looking for some one else who falls somewhere near me on the spectrum of life.

Answer 1

It could be your attitude. Try being just pleasant and yourself. By changing like that, people are going to wonder if you are schizophrenic. It takes some people longer to find happiness than others. Just be patient, yours will come.

Answer 2

you are over compensating with the mustang
and that draws a certain type of chick.. notice i said chick because it does not draw a women, she'll see boy who has not grown up in that car, and at 20 you shouldn't be having a GF anyways
what are you life goals
where is your school ( college ) ?
and as for wardrobe, again you are probably over compensating, and the chicks see it,
if you are not good looking ( and i suspect you are ) and your personality sucks ( which I also suspect it does ) then all is telling when you ask for coffee dates
you might as well be gay when you ask for coffee or ice cream dates
no one takes a women or girl on such a date
only rank amateurs
you lack a sense of self, and being someone you are not will definitely turn off the chicks ( and women for that matter )
you'll notice guys who are busy in life, have a life and thus women tend to be attracted to them, this means they really do not work for it, as life takes precedent over women, and women do not like to be 2nd place behind some guys career or hobby, so they tend to be attracted to a well rounded guy, and such guys generally do not buy mustangs, they buy a truck or something, as cars are not important to them right now, other things matter, and women see that, later once they have succeeded in life they buy ( if they do at all ) the mustang shelby edition
but women are attracted to confidence
and that's something you lack

BTW I agree of much of what Tara says, she hit some good points

Answer 3

Well written and obviously you are highly educated. I couldn't find any grammatical, spelling error or anything of that nature, LOL. Anyway, lets get serious for a moment here. I used to have the same problem as you, but overtime I have learned to live with it and not let it be the only thing that's on my mind. I have changed the game and let the game come to me, and you know what, it worked. What I mean is this, play hard to get (and if you're decent looking than this will work in your favor) because girls love to get something they can't have. Well, you might say this is absolutely ridiculous because you're looking for immediate result and this method will only prolong the time of success. Well, this was the best advice that I could have given you, beside being yourself, and if it worked for me it might for you as well. Good luck on finding someone nice.

Answer 4

I hear ya buddy. I've had a few GFs but never for more than a few weeks. What I've been trying to do lately is put myself out more, like donating time for charity fundraisers. I also made friends with some of the girls at work who are married and know lots of single girls. I kinda want a LTR, but I'm not 100% sure. I haven't found anyone that great yet, but we'll see what happens. Most girls are so immature around our age and just want to get drunk and screw, which is what you might have to settle for. It's not such a bad thing after all...

Answer 5

no longer weird and wonderful. actual, i think of there needs to be greater adult males such as you. such countless ladies finally end up having their hearts broken or compelled into some thing they do no longer choose for to do because of the fact they're so loopy a pair of boy, however the only ingredient he's loopy approximately is intercourse. in spite of lady you finally end up with ought to be relieved which you do no longer choose for to get of their pants. that is countless rigidity on a woman and can carry out a little intense harm. you mustn't have plenty worry finding a woman who loves you:)

Answer 6

It breaks my heart to hear this. I am afraid that you come off as too desperate for women. Women want someone who is confident. This means that you need to figure out who you are and what you want before you get involved in a relationship. You need to be happy on your own so you can walk away from unhealthy situations. You can't cater to women, but you also shouldn't be a jerk. You treat them with respect and if they do not treat you respectfully back, you do not continue to be involved with them. You need to develop BALLS, a backbone, or whatever you want to call it, so that you can walk if a situation isn't up to your standards. Yes, you should have standards. You need to reclaim your manhood again. Sadly, there are not quality men out there due to PMS, pussy men syndrome, and I think that like most men, you have a case of it. Society has caused this and all these guys who are sensitive, nice, etc, have diminished my chances of finding a quality man. Please become one. Women will thank you.

Answer 7

you need to be your self . sorry
pretending to be something you not wont get your anywhere
you can take your gt to the bedroom can you

Lady's like something new
forget the coffee
that's dull maybe try water skiing
do something you enjoy, and you will meet other that enjoy that too,
just wait , you will be OK .
your trying to hard chill out bro, there people that Ike the different person, not just the run of the mill kind of guy

Answer 8

You are doing the best thing by opening up to some feedback.
Its all become so self-centred for you, and the stress will be one you if it carries on like this much longer.
Give yourself a brke, switch off the headlights, stop looking for a girlfriend, forget al about it, and these things cam rob your obsession of its power.
After , one will come along.

Answer 9

It sounds like you're being very choosy, which is fine, but at age 20, it means you won't have racked up much experience. Most people at age 20 aren't looking for serious relationships, but you are. Just be patient... you'll meet the right person.

And whatever you do, don't get too bitter, because that will seriously impede your chances.

Answer 10

Same situation here, and I'm three years older than you. Frankly, I'm beginning to wonder if I'll die a bachelor. It's becoming a very real and frightening possibility.