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I work at this store and this guy works out back in the loading/shipping/recieving area and I have to go out back when a customer wants something shipped to another store or something..but this guy really really makes me uncomfortable, he's really ridiculously touchy...he'll see me from behind and come up and grab my waist and pick me up and then bend me down, its really weird and he's always just touching me creepy and onetime i actually screamed because he wouldn't let me go and he had me in a sexual-type position...I've told him to stop but he doesnt..Also i"m 19 and hes 38. What should I do? I really am not the type to complain to management or anything so i'd like to resolve it between the two of us.

2007-09-30 18:05:19 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government Law Enforcement & Police

I don't laugh, im just telling him to let me go and "im serious" but he just smiles and keeps doin it til he hears a door open or something

2007-09-30 18:17:30 · update #1

Pagan Dan, the guy is a co-worker not a customer...sorry i wasn't clear.

2007-09-30 18:24:08 · update #2

18 answers

If sternly telling him to stop does not work you HAVE to tell management. Otherwise you may be putting yourself in serious danger. People like that don't always think straight and can, over time, get more and more involved and comfortable - especially if you do not show him that you are not one he should mess with.

By not taking action he may think he can get away with what he is doing.

You should also try to always avoid him, especially when alone.

2007-09-30 18:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Boob 3 · 3 0

There are several solutions,
1) mace, that'll make you're point.
2) tell him you have a possessive boyfriend and how he hates other guys even touching you on the shoulder.
3) straight up tell him "touch me again, I'll slash your tires."
4) slap him next time and yell rape.
5) just say you'll tell the cops or management. But follow through if he continues.
Now some of those were jokes, but no go with 5 above all, or you might be able to get by with 2 (thats as long as he's not TOO into you, if it obsession, then tell the boss). But do something cause if it was sexual, he might have some creepy thoughts going on that should be addressed, for your safety. If you don't like it, to accept it.

2007-09-30 18:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by m 4 · 1 1

You said your not the type to complain to management...you've asked this guy to stop and the behavior escalates. You MUST report it to either your store manager, or someone from your loss prevention/security department or someone from Human resources. As a former Regional Loss Prevention Loss Prevention Manager for a National retailer, we took complaints of sexual harassment very seriously. No one should be subjected to this type of behavior. When a complaint was received, we conducted a thorough investigation. If management knew, or should have know that such behavior has or is occurring, there will be some liability. You also have the responsibility to report this behavior. Chances are, if it's happening to your, it's happening to others. You should also keep a log of time/dates and events. If you still don't want to report the behavior, put the bad guy on notice that if he does not stop his unwanted behavior, that you will report it. Good luck to you.

2007-10-01 12:23:50 · answer #3 · answered by Paul G 2 · 0 0

Tell your management... if they refuse to do anything, examine the policy on sexual abuse and strongly insist that this type of behavior makes you feel weird and / or that you feel like you are being violated. I'm a guy and I should probably not be saying this but some guys think a girl means yes if she says no. This might be something that is occuring for you and he makes it seems as though you are the one with a problem. Well I'm here to tell you it sounds serious and should be handled in a serious manner. If not, there's always someone who will listen. Trust your judgement on this one. Peace.

2007-09-30 18:16:49 · answer #4 · answered by aldamixxmasta 3 · 0 0

There are only two things anyone needs to know about sexual harrasment.

1. Don't do it.
2. Don't put up with it.

There is only one thing to add to that. Sexual harrasment is NOT about sex, it is about power over another person.

You say that you are not the type to complain to managment, but it seems to me that neither are you the type to put up with a co-worker, just because you work with the guy, groping and touching you and getting sexual jollies at your expense.

Your boss has a legal obligation to provide a workplace where he or she has done everything possible to prevent harm to employees--and you are being harmed.

I don't like to give advice, but...

This time it is necessary.

You need to talk to your boss. You are NOT a troublemaker, or a whiner, or a crybaby. You CAN take a joke, and you ARE a good sport.

Document everything the guy has done. Dates, times, locations, names of witnesses--even if they laughed or thought it was funny. There is nothing funny about being under oath as a prosecution witness at a sexual assault trial--because sexual assault is a crime and it is exactly what the customer is doing.

Ask your boss for help to devise a strategy. Have one in mind. For one thing, you could ask the boss to reassign the guy. Reassign him, not y you. If the co-worker talks to you, tell him "The boss has instructed me to stay away from you, and not even talk to you."

If your managers to nothing to deal with this problem, or turn a blind eye to it THEY ARE BREAKING THE LAW TOO.

Stand up for yourself. At the end of the day, nobody else can or will if you won't.

Good luck.

I changed my answer to reflect that the alleged groper is a co-worker, but the legal and labour relations issues are identical. Your boss is in a heap of trouble if he does nothing about your co-worker--and hopefully he or she will know that. One final word, DO NOT FEEL SORRY for the guy if he tries to guilt you--if he gets canned or demoted or transferred it will be because of his behaviour and choices--not yours.

2007-09-30 18:20:53 · answer #5 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 1 0

The other answers are good. As a guy, I'm telling that this is sexual harrassment and it's not acceptable. You've asked him to not do it and he continues to do so.

Even without the connotation of sex, in that he's a man groping a woman, he is STILL placing his hands on you after you've told him not to do it. THAT alone is assault and, even though a misdemeanor, it is STILL a crime for which he can be prosecuted.

Just ask a few deputies in Bexar County, TX back in 1988 for repeatedly patting a waitress on the butt after she'd asked them not to do it.

2007-09-30 18:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by Marc X 6 · 0 0

You say you're not the type to complain to management, but in this case you don't really have much of a choice. Let them know immediately.

2007-10-01 09:05:24 · answer #7 · answered by Mr.Longrove 7 · 0 0

eithe confront him or report him to management - bottom line is that it is harrassement. that is completely out of line and the fact that you are not doing anything about it only reinforces to him that you dont mind it.

tell him that you are not comfortable with him touching you in that way and that is is completely inappropriate for work. he is 38 and not stupid, so it is obvious that it is a come on.

this will happen all your life, so go ahead and confront him and get it over with.

2007-09-30 18:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by Helga 5 · 2 0

This is an honest to goodness case of sexual harassment. Don't write it off as horseplay.

You need to bring this up to his, and your supervisor immediately!

If they fail to curb his behavior, this is one of the rare cases I believe litigation is the right answer.

For the guy that writes something like "Its cool, you're not getting him trouble by telling on him..."

You won't be getting HIM in trouble. HIS asinine, aggressive and and completely inappropriate behavior is getting HIM in trouble.

2007-09-30 18:52:19 · answer #9 · answered by California Street Cop 6 · 0 0

Its cool your not the type to just go tattle tale on somebody and get them in trouble, but you just gotta be more firm with him. If your laughing while he does this it can give him mixed feelings so make sure your firm. If he keeps it up go ahead and tell because you warned him now thats his problem.

2007-09-30 18:10:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 1

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