My father abandoned our family when I was two; I only saw him three or four more times until he died, when I was ten. I have so many emotional issues connected to him, but I can't get answers, obviously, because of his death. I'm 22 now; how do I move past these issues?
2007-09-30 16:49:13 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
I had a nasty past as well. I got over it by justifying it to myself. Try to think about why your dad may have left, not in terms of "because he didn't love me" or anything like that. Maybe he couldn't handle the responsibility and freaked out. Maybe he had other issues you know nothing about. Try to see him as a human that made a terrible mistake by not getting to know you. Remember it's his loss. Then forgive him and move on. Find a place in your heart/mind for him that won't torture you. And it helps to remind yourself that you can't change things, and since he's dead it will never change. Don't blame yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and you have to forgive them or else it can eat you alive.
I know all this takes time. I'm 31 and just came to terms with my past in the last 2 years. It's really freeing to forgive. Please try that. Your dad was a flawed human, and that's all.
2007-09-30 17:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Eraserhead 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to see a psychologist. You need to talk to a professional about you issues. By working together you can resolve some of these issues you have.
You need to know that you are not to blame for you father abandoning the family. That's just one of the reasons you need to counsel with a professional.
You are 22 yrs old and you shouldn't have to try to go it alone. With counseling you will get the support you need and are looking for.
Talk and be happy you did.
2007-09-30 17:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by Eagles Fly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My finnish friend was abandoned by her husband, and because of this, she used to drink wine a lot.She became so depressed and had manic depressions.
What she did was to find medical solutions to her problems.She is also into counselling with other patients who are bipolars.It helped her a lot according to her.The last time she wrote me was, she is happy because she found again another love by marrying a man who has a parkinson's disease.You too can move on.Try to go to a psychiatrist,take medications and attend counselling.Lift unto God all your worries,and he will do the rest.Good luck.
2007-09-30 17:15:07 · answer #3 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most people heal naturaly with time. It is my opinion that some just like pity parties and like to be the theme of the party.
Heartbreak heals with time, and you have to forgive and let go to heal.
And i really do not want to sound harsh, but we all have had trauma in our life. You must get past it. There is nothing a counselor can do but tell you the same thing.
I had a professional tell me the secret a long time ago to healing.
Put it in the past. You have the rest of your life ahead of you. and it would be a pity to lose the rest of it because you choose to dwell on the past. It is gone, never to return. Move on and let it rest and you can rest.
2007-09-30 17:00:59 · answer #4 · answered by jim c 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You never will get answers; be thankful you only had to deal with him a few times in your life. I had to deal with mine until 16 and he was a complete abusive SOB. I never got answers, but I made sure I did not make the mistakes he made as an adult.
2007-09-30 17:04:37 · answer #5 · answered by Grad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a lot of issues from my youth. Therapy is what helped me. Think about scheduling some sessions with a therapist.
2007-09-30 17:32:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A good counselor or therapist could help a lot.
2007-09-30 16:54:05 · answer #7 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋