Is it normal for children to touch each other?

Question

My son spent a few weeks this summer at his aunt's house. She has now brought to my attention that my son and her son started a touching game when they took baths together. My son is 9 and hers 4. When I asked my son about this, he paused and then went on to tell me this was true. He disclosed everything to me. He is a very passive boy who has empathy for others and is not a trouble-maker,

Has this happened to anyone else? Should I be concerned with my sons role in this since he is he older one?

Please help.

Answer 1

Your child should be taught about the 'rule of touch'. That means nobody should touch the body of another.

Answer 2

I am a psychology major and just finished my child development requirements so I think I can be of some assistance.

First of all I will say that it is normal for children to play doctor, around the age of 7 or 8 children become curious about their bodies and the bodies of others, that is natural. BUT it is not normal to play this game with some one so much younger, it as harsh as this may sound borders on molestation even though that was not the intended case. The 4 year old does not know enough to say no or even why he is doing what he was doing.

With that being said you need to inform your son that exploring is normal to do it with some one so young is not, even though the 4 year old may forget the incident it will have lasting affects on him believe it or not. I do not think your son meant any harm but if it continues it will become a problem for both him and his younger cousin. You need to make sure he does not continue to do this. If you have any further questions or would like to know how to talk to your son please feel free to email me. Good luck.

Answer 3

it is usually pretty common for preschoolers (3-5 years old). your son is probably a bit old for it. that being said. if he is very passive the younger child may have initiated it and being 9 and curious about sex he went for it. my son is 10 and he has started asking alot of questions about how sex works, how babies are made, what tampons are for, etc... i think it is normal i wouldnt worry too much. i will give you the same advice that i was given by my college psychology professor though. when your child asks you a question that is sexual in nature answer him truthfully but in simple terms that he can understand. kids only ask what the need to know so only answer the question that he asks. my saw my tampons in my bathroom drawer and asked what they were for, i said every month a woman bleeds, that is her bodys way of getting ready to have a baby. he said okay and that was the end of it. i know that as a mother your first instinct is to protect your child from intimate info i did the same until i talked to my professor. she said you need to think of it this way, if they dont get it at home they are going to get it somewhere else and it would be better for you to give him the truth than for someone to show him how it is done, and it also instills trust in them that you are honest with them no matter what. hope this helps!

Answer 4

Usually it's only normal for younger children. You should explain to your son that while he may have thought it okay to touch because the younger one wanted to do it, private places are just that, private. Be sure to ask him if anyone else has done that with him, because sometimes this behaviour can be an indicator of a bigger problem, like someone touched his privates before.

Answer 5

If they were closer in age I wouldn't be concerned but I think you need to have a serious talk with your son. If he does this with other children that much younger he could be in real trouble. He needs to understand the appropriate boundaries.

Answer 6

A four year old child touching is one thing. I nine year old touching a four year old is molestation. Something is not right here. One of these boys has been seeing or experiencing things that are adult. Someone needs to get to the bottom of this before kids end up being taken away or someone gets arrested.

Answer 7

Yes, it's fairly normal, but usually when they're the same age. It's not harmful, but he should be told it's not appropriate to do that with someone of a different age.

You should probably keep an eye on him when he's around younger children.

Answer 8

it is very normal for kids to do that.did you?but honestly,ive never heard of a 9 year old doing that,but that doesnt mean much.you need to have that talk,let him know just how serious this is and you may want to ask if anyone has ever touched him in that way before

Answer 9

normal for the most part except that 4 and 9 are too old to bathe together.

Answer 10

I think your son is way to old to be taking baths with other children. He is plenty old enough to bathe alone. If my 4 year old decides he wants his 9 year old brother to play in the bath with them I make them wear bathing suits.