How can you get your life back when you the one who gave meaning to it,died?

Question

its been a year and i thought time would heal my pain,it had eased a little but yet the emptiness in my heart and the lost of meaning to everything is my everyday thing,i am not sure anything makes sense anymore,i am not a child but sometimes i do feel helpless without having her around.i miss her a lot,she was my happiness and the only good i had in my life, the fact is i dont know how to live without my mother.

Answer 1

You were blessed to have her in your life as long as you did. Rejoice in that she is with God in heaven. She is pain free, she is happy, there are no tears. How can we be sad when we know that our loved ones are with Him, and that one day we will join them? I do understand. I lost my dear mother, 9 yrs ago, and I miss her, but am so grateful for the memories, and how she gave me life. She is being rewarded in heaven, and who am I to be sad, about me not having her, when I know she is happy there. Sure you miss her. It is natural. Find some ways to do something positive, such as helping others. Perhaps there are some elderly people that you could do some errands for, or just visit. Make a difference in someones life, can make a difference in your own. It's ok to miss your mother, but she, and most of all God wants you to be happy. We are only human beings here, and do not understand the big picture always. Though you love and miss her, God happened to need her more, and He loves her very much. God bless and heal your heartache.

Answer 2

I.m agnostic and I lost my mom four years ago. It was made all the worse because the doctors said she would always be sick the way she was and we (my sisters and I) were given the option to end her suffering so we signed the hospital papers to discontinue her meds. I was devastated, worrying whether we had done the right thing.

One night while I sat alone by her bed as she lay unconscious in hospital, she woke up and asked me when I was going to get her better and take her home. I was devastated with doubt! She lapsed into a coma shortly after that but the guilt I felt was overwhelming. At the funeral, I was criticized by family for not eulogizing her but I was an absolute emotional mess.

I couldn't get over the loss and the guilt for two years. It was only until I found a good doctor to treat me for depression that I was able to begin to deal with it. I still miss her, but feel I may meet up with her again when I pass on; and that's okay. I can wait for that. And I still torture myself sometimes over the fact that I killed her, but my doctor said I ended her suffering and that was a good thing.

In between occasional bad times, I've started to live again, knowing that death is part of life (although it sucks being the one who lives and misses the dearly departed one). I express myself creatively and love my art. I read and go to movies. Life goes on and it can be good. But I recommend if you feel okay about it, see a psychologist or other therapist who can talk you through your sorrow.

I know it hurts to lose your mommy. But if you read Deepak Chopra's books, he believes in a mass consciousness that is always alive and thriving and that's where we go when we die and that's how your mom can keep watch over you and you can talk to her any time and she will hear you. You aren't alone now, you're only separated for a while.

Luv,
Kate

Answer 3

Your mother is now closer to you then she has ever been. Asking how? She is in your heart and now watching you where ever you are. She is here when you sleep and there when you wake. You didn't lose her,she is always with you,in spirit,in mind and in heart. We often learn to rely on the physical of having someone there,but the fact is,it's the heart and the love you share with that person that is so precious and priceless. It's terrible to lose a mother or father,the pain must be unbearable at times,but remember the time you did get to spend with her and treasure those moments forever. You can talk to her whenever you want,you will see in signs that she is there,look at everything really close. Look at the things she treasured most and you will see her there. Remember the places she stood and things she enjoyed you will find her there. Remember her words and her love and you will find her there. In passing she is happy always remember that because she did not leave you,she right next to you all the time,she can hear you when you cry and she can hear you when you laugh,and I'm sure you sense her near all the time. She is happiest when you laugh. Try not to feel as if you will never see her again,because one day you will,but remember she has not left you,but she is closer to you,you bring her with you every where you go. She is watching as you sleep,and she knows that you know,she loves you. Where ever she is,she is not far. Although you cannot hug her,she is there,she will always be there. She will be happiest when she sees you living again,because she wants you to be happy. Where ever she is,she is free.She is free of pain,she is free of grief,she has eternal happiness and best of all,she knows she can now be with you everywhere. Don't be lost because you are not without her. Let her physically go,but you don't have to stop loving her,you dont' have to stop thinking of her. Although your memory of her at times seems to fade,your love and her love is there and she wants you to go on. This is what mothers always want,she doesn't want you to cry and feel grief,she wants her daughter to remember her love and move on with that love. She is always there,your never alone,and be at ease,because she is at rest and happy.

Answer 4

Trust me... I'll have four years in November of someone. Not mom, but someone else I was hoping there could have been a whole future with. One year is nothing and totally understandable if you still feel that badly. People act like we're supposed to pick up and "move on" and "get over" (I so hate those words) in no time at all. But if a person is someone who leaves an empty place...there is no filling it, and nor will it ever heal.

It will however get easier over time. I know time certainly does NOT heal all wounds... however, you do kind of get used to it and the sharp edge of the loss dulls a bit and gets easier to deal with.

One day at a time.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel. It is so hard.

Try to feel grateful that you had her at all. I know that sounds cold-blooded, but it will make you feel better to remember each of the good times you had with her, and cherish each one as a testament of your love for each other.

This way, you can understand that people who never had any mother, or who had a bad mother, are worse off than you are, even though it hurts you that she is now gone.

I know my mommy loved me, and that my daddy did, too. Those two people were wonderful human beings who gave their all for their children, and were smart, compassionate and loving to lots of other people besides.

Good luck to you, and perhaps you can volunteer to be a Big Sister to a foster child or in some way give to others based on the love your mother gave to you.

Answer 6

I know how you feel. My mother passed last year rather suddenly. I never had the last chance to say I love you. But I know she knew that I did. It is never easy to say goodbye to someone who is that close to you. Sometimes I wonder if I could have been a better son. But I know that she is with the Lord and that someday we shall be together again. It is her memories that make me smile knowing she is always with me in my heart and thoughts. I will pray for you and may God comfort you and keep you safe.

Answer 7

As I'm sure you know, it's okay to feel sad. It takes time to get over the death of somebody and you can't deny yourself the pain. But there are options that can help you. With antidepressants (not forever of course, just for a little while) and other people to support you, you can actually come to accept your loss. I don't usually post a lot of reading material, but I think you might find some good info in these articles:

http://mental-health.families.com/blog/depression-the-myth-of-chemical-imbalance

http://mental-health.families.com/blog/when-antidepressants-arent-the-best-option-1

http://mental-health.families.com/blog/when-antidepressants-arent-the-best-option-2

http://mental-health.families.com/blog/when-antidepressants-arent-the-best-option-3

She must have been a really great person for you to miss her this much. I'm very sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

1 Praise the LORD.
Praise the LORD, O my soul.

2 I will praise the LORD all my life;
I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.

3 Do not put your trust in princes,
in mortal men, who cannot save.

4 When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
on that very day their plans come to nothing.

5 Blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob,
whose hope is in the LORD his God,

6 the Maker of heaven and earth,
the sea, and everything in them—
the LORD, who remains faithful forever.

7 He upholds the cause of the oppressed
and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,

8 the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.

9 The LORD watches over the alien
and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

10 The LORD reigns forever,
your God, O Zion, for all generations.
Praise the LORD.
(Psalm 146)

Answer 9

Oh, dear. You are still grieving and that is ok. Give yourself time to fully heal.

But ask yourself if your mother would want you to mourn forever? If she loved you and I'm sure she did, she probably wouldn't.

I promise you that over time you will find other meaningful ways to define your life, independent of your mother.
But it is absolutely ok to miss her and remember her.

Let your life, work, and success be a living memorial to her, and celebrate the life and love that she had with you.

I wish you peace.

Answer 10

My Dad died when I was 41 years old and sometimes it still hurts. The loss of a parent is hard to live with. What you should remember is that your Mom would want you to LIVE! And be happy! So don't let her down...move forward, live, love and have a great life! She would want that for you! ... Blessings!