I am a Christian with little faith?

Question

Sometimes I feel so strong in my faith, and at other times I question whether I really believe or if I am following the crowd for comfort. Sometimes the presense of GOD is so POWERFUL, but others I am consumed with doubt.

I was raised in the church. My parents didn't go though. When my dad died at ten, I stopped going, but I didn't connect my dad's death with my renunciation of religion until later in life. I became a Christian less than one year ago. But I so often doubt my authenticity. I have been messing up more since I have become a Christian with personal bad habits, depression, and difficulty forgiving people. I just want to get close and be led again.

I have done some horrible things that I know I do not deserve forgiveness for, and I have such trouble believing that I am forgiven.
Any advice?

Answer 1

First, your experience struggling with sin isn't unique. As a Christian you will actually become more & more sensitive to your own sin. This is actually a good sign that you agree with God that His Law is good; that you are a sinner in need of forgiveness.

St. Paul says it like this: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the Law is good. ...For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. ...So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's Law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?" (Romans 7:15-24).

Does this sound familiar?

Then remember your Holy Baptism where you were baptized in "the name of the Father, the Son & the Holy Spirit." Even if you were an infant, you can remember that at your Baptism God claimed you as His own child. You can be assured then that it was God who worked the faith in you necessary for your salvation at that time. It was *not* a faith that *you* mustered up, or must muster up again. The faith you received at your Baptism is a sure & certain gift from the Holy Spirit.

Paul goes on to say, "Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (Romans 7:25). What does that mean for you? That if Christ's sacrifice on the Cross was sufficient for Paul (who had previously murdered many many Christians & still struggled with sin following his conversion), it is sufficient for you!

I feel for you in your bouts with depression. I experience those often too. But, don't be deceived by your feelings. Feelings are notoriously unreliable. You must find the objective truth so graciously given to us in God's Word.

Remember, Christianity isn't about you "being good", it's about "God being good for you." Perhaps part of the reason that you are confused & doubting yourself is because you've been taught some subtle false doctrine. Were you taught that you had to muster up faith? Then you didn't hear the Gospel in its purity. The pure Gospel of Jesus Christ requires nothing from you. In the pure Gospel God does *all* the work necessary to save you from sin, death & the power of the devil *for you*. This is so you can rest assured that Jesus completed the task of forgiving your sins certainly & completely.

None of us can keep God's good Law perfectly, but watch out that someone isn't mixing in man's law with God's Law & making you feel guilty unjustly. Look, Jesus was perfect. He kept God's Law perfectly, that is inwardly as well as outwardly out of a genuine love for God. The Bible tells us He wept, so Jesus experienced depression. Depression itself is not sin.

It is however true that past sin can be a source of depression. You may want to talk to a pastor about this & he may direct you to a trusted Christian counselor if needed. I would suggest an LCMS pastor who is much less likely to intermingle Law & Gospel (such intermingling will confuse & frustrate you even further). He will be able to guide you to God's means of grace: Word (The Bible: Law & Gospel) & Sacrament (Holy Baptism & Holy Communion).

You say that you want to be close to God & be led by Him again. Just like in Holy Baptism, God is the one who established a personal relationship with you, it is also God who maintains that personal relationship with you through His Word & Holy Communion. You can also receive instruction from an LCMS pastor about this.

If you want to know more about Holy Baptism & Holy Communion, or more about what the LCMS teaches I suggest: http://www.lcms.org/pages/internal.asp?NavID=524

I pray that the Holy Spirit will comfort you & grant you strength in Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Answer 2

None of us *deserve* forgiveness -- that's why it is such a gift!

You are forgiven.

You are already taking the next steps on your faith journey, saying you want to get close and be led again. Now, you can turn that statement into a prayer.

Your dad died when you were a tender age, and that can always put someone into a faith crisis - it's understandable.

Can I suggest a couple of songs for you to listen to?

The Real Me --Natalie Grant
Hide --Joy Williams
Healing Waters --Michelle Tumes

I hope you can take the message in these songs to heart and that they might help heal some of the self-doubt and recrimination. You are loved by the Lord.

Answer 3

You feel you’ve done some things that can’t be forgiven and now that you are coming back to the lord you find yourself messing up more and feeling depressed.

This makes complete sense to me.

I think you don’t really believe God can forgive you so if you mess up you think you are giving him another reason not to forgive you.

But if you have asking for forgiveness with sincerity in your heart, God has forgiven you. Now you must forgive yourself.

I think it is perfectly normal to have moments of doubt. During those times simply pray and tell God exactly what you are feeling. Ask him to guide you. This may all take some time, but as long as you keep God at the center of your life, you will grow stronger in your understanding.

Answer 4

Maybe your faith isn't as little as you think it is. Maybe your faith is/was strong enough to worry Satan and that is why he is attacking you so hard since you committed yourself to Christ. I had a fairly problem free life until I became Christian and then things started to get tougher. The more so as I more closely followed God. But the more I was attacked the more I clung to God. I have had some battles over the years and am still having a few, but that is not because of lack of Faith but that Satan is attacking me like he did Job. For some confidence and hope read the book of Job again. For even though Job's life was tough, at times, he triumphed in the end and was greatly rewarded by God for his faithfulness to God.

Answer 5

being a christian with little faith is also called a baby christian. i too feel that way but the best way to be closer with God is to PRAY. and the horrible things you did in your life, if you ask forgiveness sincerely and with all your heart i promise you He will forgive you. The only thing you have to do next is forgive yourself. Forgiveness is another form of love. All of us do not deserve forgiveness for what we have done, but God loves us so much that he forgives us anyway, just as a parent with their child that put paint all over their white walls. He loves you! Just pray and I promise God will bring you closer to him. And remember that through diffifculties, even though the devil means them for harm, God means them for good. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

Read James. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. As a new believer, he would like nothing more than to confuse you and put doubt in your heart. That's what started the whole mess. He got Eve to doubt " Indeed, hath God said....?" You see, that's a fiery dart. Put on your armor and don't let him put doubt in your mind. The battle is for the mind. Be strong. Yes you will stumble, we all do. But the Lord always picks us up again. Remember, " No weapon formed against you shall prosper". He that is in us is greater than he that is in the world. We have not been given a spirit of fear but of love, power and a sound mind. Learn to wear your armor and weild your sword-The Word.

Answer 7

just believe and trust in the Lord and hang in there . I myself have been a Christian for only 3 yrs. and have gone through everything that you have talked about . remember that satan is going to lie to you in every way he can to see you give up . remember the day you gave your life to Christ ? remember how you felt then ? Christ has not left you to defend for yourself , if you truly accepted Him into your heart He is still there . all Christians go through this . being a Christian is not a easy thing . and when your a young christian as you are ( young as in only one year) it the hardest . just hang in there and keep seeking the Lord and in time your faith will grow . don't get me wrong , it's never easy ,but the more your faith grows the better you will handle things and the doubts lessen. remember , God doesn't lie. if God says your sin are forgiven they are forgiven . and who are we to question God. so believe and have faith and pray to God for comfort in these matters . all it takes is a little faith . and if you would like , remember what you did to get saved in the first place? do it again . be sure that your sure , you got to know that you know . and then believe . I Hopes this helps
God Bless , and hang in there . it gets better , oh so much better.

Answer 8

Satan is not so worried about those who are not drawing closer to God. He is always trying to play on your doubts and weaknesses. The best advice I can give you is to find a bible preaching church and a good mature christian to help hold you accountable and to mentor you in your walk with Christ.

Mark3:28 I tell you the truth, all the sins and blasphemies of men will be forgiven them.

Answer 9

1) Trust God, He will show you.

2) None of us deserve forgiveness from God, He gives it to us anyway.

3) You need to be into the Bible everyday and ask plenty of questions about it.

4) Only be around Christians for a while - good one's who go to church on days other than the usual, more than once a week.

5) Listen to preachers often, especially good ones. Here is one you can listen to about any book in the Bible:
http://twft.com/?page=C2000

You can e-mail me if you want to.

Answer 10

I have several ideas for approaches that you can take. Some for a more general issue of faith building, and one specifically geared towards your feelings that you can't be forgiven.

I will address the latter first, because it seems to be bothering you the most. Well, let me assure you, that there is only ONE unforgiveable sin in the Bible, and I ABSOLUTELY (I really wish there were italics here) guarantee that you have not committed it (unless you happen to be an over 2000 year old Pharisee).

The one and only unforgiveable sin was to be standing directly in front of Christ Jesus in all His glory, witness in person (repeat for emphasis w/o italics) in person, miracles of Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit, and then loudly claim that those miracles must have been performed by Satan. This sin was specifically limited in time and place to the one time where it occured, and the specific Pharisees who committed it.

Also, remember the verse about how nothing can seperate us from the love of Christ (I struggle with this one on a daily basis, as I seperated myself from Christ for a time, and also committed some acts for which I am now ashamed), not powers, principalities, any human or anything else (I don't remember the whole list, I should though). That list includes you. YOU are not capable of seperating yourself from the love of Christ, unless you pick up right now and for the rest of your life devote yourself to hatred, cruelty, wickedness, disdain for the poor and rejected, and everything that satan stands for. Which, you are not. So do not fear.

Furthermore, your chosen seperation was based in a traumatic and painful event (as was mine). Christ knows and loves that traumatized individual whose reaction to that severe pain was based in an inability to be able to handle it well (who can?). He knows that, and he does not blame you for that. You are still a beloved child of God, and he knew even as you turned your face from Him for a while, that you would come straight back to Him when you were able and ready.

Also, think of this. When Christ died and suffered the punishment for all of your sins, when precisely where they to have occured? In the future, in other words, he already knew about your sins (including the pain caused seperation) and died for them and forgave you for them 2000 years ago. They may be new to you, but they are not new to Him.

I highly recommend a book entitled, "What's Your God Language" for more broadly generalized faith issues. You will find out based on the way that God made you, how you and God communicate together best.

Best of luck (hoping my answer helps me through these issues as well) and I wish you well in your reacquaintance with the God who loves you so much.

Related Biblical stories

--The Shepherd who rejoiced more over the 1 lost and found than the 99 who were never lost.

--The woman who searched for her coin until she found it.

--The Father whose son basically in every way renounced and reviled his father, and yet, when that son worked up the nerve to return home to ask if he could work as a pig feeder and occasionally eat some of the pigfood, was greeted by a running, loving Father who hugged him close and threw him an amazing welcome home party.

Answer 11

The Holy spirit is working in your life to convict you of wrong and teach you. The mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds but it produces a huge tree. With Little faith we can move immovable mountains through Jesus Christ who bought you for a price and don't ever forget that he payed for your ticket into paradise.