I am/was dating my ex-boyfriends best friend. He was there for me when my heart was broken, he constantly made sure I was ok, etc. I was reluctant to start a relationship with him because i felt it was too soon, i told him this but he wanted to. he treated me so well and honestly loved me. I care about him alot, the thought of losing him makes me very sad. Thing is the other night he came over and was really strange, he wouldnt stay when I asked him to which is something he has NEVER done. I was worried about him but he wanted to go have a drink with a friend. So, upset, I went to my favorite bar and got hammered. One of my good friends showed up and he knew I was upset, as did everyone. So I ended up holding his hand all night just because the thought of being hurt again the way my ex hurt me scared me shitless. My boyfriend showed up just as hammered as me, causing a scene. I barely got him back to my place, but my new neighbor was having a party, so of course we went in and had a
2007-09-30 13:59:44 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
beer, somehow I ended up kissing a guy right in front of my boyfriend. Wasn't a deep kiss at all, but it was a kiss. I was very drunk, I know its no excuse but just to say. The next day he broke up with me. I told him I didn't cheat on him but clearly he considers holding hands and kissing cheating and enough to break up with me. I know I would forgive him if he had done the same because we both get flirty when we are drunk, and at the end of the night, I want to be next to him. I told him I wanted to be with him but he wasn't having it, he has always been insecure about me getting attention/hit on. So would you break up with someone you are crazy about because they held hands with/kissed a guy? How can i get him back?
2007-09-30 14:00:00 · update #1
You just gave him an excuse he could use to break up with you. He is not that into you. He may have been when you were the new and therefore exciting girl. However, now that he has had you, he is bored with you and looking for someone new. He would have dumped you anyway, You only caused it to occur a little earlier.
Regardless of what they may otherwise say, if a guy really likes you, he is not going to break up over some little thing like that.
2007-09-30 14:10:04 · answer #1 · answered by John 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were under the influence and emotionally got involved with others evident by holding hands and kissing. If you can't control these urges, drinking or not, you will fail the test when something else comes up, as in a one night stand, or adultery when you are married.
Work on being strong when the Devil tempts you to be intimate with others besides your boyfriend. If you can't you will have these problems and heart aches your whole life.
Seek Christ and ask Him for strength to prevent you from getting emotional with others when you had no business to, If you want ,it is OK to get emotional with Christ as it will be between Him and you, and that way you can not hurt any one.
You could of avoided all this with a good ole fashion cry or sob.
And, yes it was cheating, emotionally, you robbed him of your true feelings and shared them with others. Yes,it is grounds to break up, however, reconciliation is always good as it is
the first act of being strong to deal with future emotions.
RD
2007-09-30 21:17:44 · answer #2 · answered by Richard D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep, in a New York minute. if my boyfriend was drunk enough to kiss & hold hand with another girl in front of me then hes drunk enough to have sex with her if i'm not there and this guy was taking advantgage of you and you situation but what you are doing is making excuses for your behavior and using your ex as the culprit. stop making excuses for your behavior and own up to your mistakes by not blaming everyone else but the real person...you!. Yes, you cheated and its no ones fault but your own, he wasnt holding a gun to your head, if this is how you behave when your hammered than stop getting hammered.your boyfriend is right in his reaction and the way he views it. he busted you & will never trust you again and your hiding behind the bottle.
2007-09-30 21:23:36 · answer #3 · answered by pennylane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were my gf, I would definitely dump you. Your excuse of being upset about him not staying is a poor excuse..much more, your going to the bar and meeting/kissing another guy is a sign that you aren't faithful enough in your relationship. Your bf has valid reason to break up with you.
2007-09-30 21:10:02 · answer #4 · answered by still 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's probably not going to work. If I saw my girlfriend kissing another guy I would break it off too. Being drunk is no excuse. You say you would forgive him for kissing a girl but you don't have to prove it.
Move on...
2007-09-30 21:07:36 · answer #5 · answered by Big Red 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummmmmmmmm something is off here,there something u are not saying right? why did he come to youre house and act weird and if thats the first time y would that hurt u so bad and make u get hammered and hold someones hand and kiss someone. you have like serious issues you dont want to be alone and need male attention im not judging you,im like that in a way too.but its wrong and i think that you just need to explain to him and then give him some time
2007-09-30 21:04:39 · answer #6 · answered by love 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People can break up for any and no reason. If he really cared about you, he'd probably be willing to listen to you and understand you.
And, it sounds like a lesson learned about drinking too much here.
But, don't worry. My guess is you'll be back together by the weekend. Don't be surprised if he ends up kissing some girl just to get back at you, though.
2007-09-30 21:04:25 · answer #7 · answered by Laura 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For one, you just showed him what you are willing to do in front of him and he put two and two together and figured out what you are willing to do when he is not around.
If you cared about him, like you put on, the situatin you described about kissing someone else would've never happen, no matter how drunk you claim your were; he didn't kiss no one now did he.
2007-09-30 21:13:24 · answer #8 · answered by old hippie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are way too immature for any kind of relationship if you are out bar hopping and kissing anyone in site instead of working on the relationship.
2007-09-30 21:04:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
from a male point of view.... you embarressed him in front of people you both knew while he was there regardless of being drunk or not ,you acted on a impulse meaning a little drunker you would have went farther,the same old tired story there was nothing to it,he's like a brother to me all these are signs of cheating whether you did or didn't i say you wouldn't of minded if it did happen
2007-09-30 21:12:42 · answer #10 · answered by mitchell l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋