I'm engaged to get married soon. My boy friend want a kid irst but I'm in school. Alson in a diffrent country. He said he would come live with me. I love him and he trust worthy. Should I have the kid b4 or after the wedding? Either way I'm finishing school. Should I go thorugh with this relationship?
2007-09-30 13:36:45 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Get married and live together first. That way you get to know eachother. Children can come later if you're happy in your marriage.
2007-09-30 13:50:19 · answer #1 · answered by mom to be 6/27/09 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
If you're in a mindset where you're thinking you should just "get it over with" you're in no position emotionally or mentally to have a baby.
You need to rethink your priorities and concentrate on your education, a career, and him actually moving to the same location you are or vice versa. People may think having a baby out of wedlock is acceptable but look at the number of screwed up homes and dysfunction in today's society and tell me children out of wedlock is a good thing. I think not.
I wish you the best of luck and I hope you're smart and mature enough to make the right decision.
EDIT:
Holy crap! I just read your reply to someone else. You're only 17! In NO way should you even THINK about having a baby let alone even marriage. Sweetie, focus on your education and save the idea of getting married for at least 5-7 more years. You have time. SLOW DOWN!
2007-09-30 22:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finish school first! Why risk your education and your career because he can't wait a few more years to have kids? You may drop out of school and find yourself financially dependent on this man and that's a scary situation especially if you're newlywed with a child. Besides, it's not him who has to go through pregnancy and child birth. Tell him that you'll have children when you are ready. Never have a baby because someone else wants you to.
2007-09-30 21:15:48 · answer #3 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, no matter what, I'd say he should at least live with you before you have the kid. It's not fun trying to be pregnant, or a new Mommy, withouth help. It seems a little odd, though, that he wants a kid before getting married. Is there any particular reason for that?
2007-09-30 20:55:20 · answer #4 · answered by flirty_smurf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna get married soon anyway. Get married, finish school or vice versa.... then when you are really ready start thinking of having kids. No need to rush it.
You may love him, he may be sincere, you may think he is trustworthy.... but better people than you or me have been fooled before.
Get married before you have kids..... don't be sorry by doing things out of order.
2007-09-30 20:50:44 · answer #5 · answered by rush.limburger 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Finish school, get married, enjoy life together for a few years as you're obviously still young, then have child, why is he so desperate to have a child now???
2007-10-01 03:20:07 · answer #6 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish school, then get married, then have kids.
2007-10-01 00:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Asked and Answered 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want a kid before the wedding?
That is not right, his priorities are skewed.
Marriage first, then kids.
2007-10-01 14:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋