He tried to start a figth with his best friend for no reason. I tried to stop it. In the process my husband pushed me down and then later threw me on top of a car. I have cuts and bruises but nothing major.
would you consider this abusive if he's never hit me before (we've only been married less than 1 year)? He wasn't very regretful even after he saw the damage to my arm because he says he doesn't remember the situation.
What do you think of this???
2007-09-30 12:38:03 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is something you need to watch and watch closely....especially since he wasn't sorry...he put his hands on you...how convienent he doesn't remember...it's always major stuff like this happens....my grandmomma always said, "a drunk person speaks a sober mind"...meaning if you put up with it long enough and he has a real problem it'll show up when he's not drunk......please take care!!!!!! The man assaulted you!!!!!
2007-09-30 12:43:09 · answer #1 · answered by Moza 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes it is abusive & whatever you do~ don't think for one minute that it's ok cos he was drunk & doesn't remember! Believe me if it's happened once it'll keep happening & as you said he "wasn't very regretful!" You've been married less than a year do you want to live the rest of your life like this? You probably think i'm exaggerating but believe me i'm not cos i've been exactly where you are now & even though he may only get that way when he drinks the question is~~~Is he going to stop drinking? Does he really give a damn? I doubt it very much & he'll keep making excuses for himself by saying he doesn't remember.
He needs help & if he refuses to listen to you just be VERY, VERY, VERY careful in the future cos in my case the violence just got worse & more frequent!
Best of Luck!
2007-09-30 19:51:15 · answer #2 · answered by Mez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two kinds of abuse, alcohol abuse and spousal abuse. Your situation is very worrisome. Amnesia for the event isn't an acceptable excuse. You need to put him on notice that his behavior will not be tolerated at all. If he doesn't take it seriously, it should be a deal breaker with your relationship. Consider professional guidance. You don't want to be in a situation like this again, heaven forbid that there could be children involved the next time.
Good luck and stay safe.
2007-09-30 19:52:25 · answer #3 · answered by rod85 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Hon..
Being your husband got so drunk, that he doesn't remember anything, especially being abusive to you..I would think he has
a serious problem..
I would give him an ultimatum, that either he go to AA or some other related organization, and quit drinking, or he has to get out..And you get an Order of Protection, to keep him away from you.
Because next time you might have more than cuts and bruises..you might be dead..And what is he going to say.."I don't remember" It will be too late then..And don't think it can't happen..
This is something very serious Hon..not to be taken lightly!
Good Luck!
2007-09-30 19:51:28 · answer #4 · answered by howdoilvthee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Don't step in front of two grown men during a drunken fight.
2. He pushed you, and threw you on a car. Yes, that is abuse.
He needs to be more sensitive to your needs. Suggest a marriage counselor, and let him know that you will not allow his abuse again. Make sure he knows that his intoxication, and blackouts are no excuse for his behavior.
AA if needed. At least think of buying him the AA Big Book.
2007-09-30 19:46:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has alcohol amnesia. And it can happen again. If he is not regretfull when sober then there is a problem. My ex broke my foot and when I asked him to take me to the ER he said "drive yourself" which I could not do as I had a stick and needed 2 feet to shift gears. You need to sit down with him and have a frank, honest talk about what happened and why. If you do not feel comfortable about the outcome then you need to leave immediately. I endured many yrs and broken bones b4 I realized I was in a losing relationship. I dont want you to have to go thru what others have gone thru. Please talk to someone you trust.
2007-09-30 19:51:20 · answer #6 · answered by nashniki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, Abuse. Now that he's married, does he think he's in control of you? Marriage is a partnership, and men need to listen to their women! Maybe he thinks he still has to "impress" his friends, in which case he is not ready to be a married man. YOU should be his number 1 in his life, not some "friend" of his. Is his friend jealous of his long term partnership with you? In that case, your husband has to cut ALL ties with this 6th grader. Your husband has to realize that he's a MAN now...not a boy. And hitting or pushing a woman..is a coward's way.
If he touches you again, you must leave him immediately!
2007-09-30 19:50:47 · answer #7 · answered by fastfingersalvin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is abuse. Sometimes abuse only manifests after two people are married. As for him not feeling remorse because he "doesn't remember", that's a cop-out. He should feel even worse if he hurt you and doesn't remember it.
2007-09-30 19:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by Monica O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is abuse and you need to move on. This does not mean to get a divorce, you can seek counseling to see if he changes. You should not put up with any abuse, you are meant to be treated with respect. Move out.
2007-09-30 19:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably wont want to know what I think but here it goes anyway.
YES that is abuse. If he cant control himself more than that while he is drinking either he needs to get help or you need to leave.
If he was drinking when you first got together he isnt going to stop now.
2007-09-30 19:41:49 · answer #10 · answered by shirley e 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋