People keep asking me and my fiance if they can bring other people to the wedding!?

Question

My fiance and I invited everyone to our wedding and on the invatation if they didn't have kids or a husband we put: "You may bring a date if you wish". Then we put on the response card "Date's Name'" (For the seating) and then a space for your date's name.

We have recieved 5 response cards back so far, 3 of which are the dates optional and 2 of them put three or four names on the line for "Date's Name"! We just ment one person!

How do we tell theese people we only wanted them to bring one person, but still be nice?

And only on one of the response card do I know one of the people. The other one I have no clue who they are!

Answer 1

It is SO rude of these people to assume they can bring more than one person.

I would call each one and very sweetly say, "We received your response card, and I'm sorry if there's been any misunderstanding, but I'm going to have to ask that you only bring one person as a guest. The venue really can't hold more people than we've invited." If they give you any grief, just be firm: "We're very sorry, but we have to keep to our head count. We hope you and one guest can come."

Seriously, you're not throwing a house party. These people should know better. You're absolutely in the right.

Answer 2

Some people are so rude aren't they?
When you put 'you can bring a guest' on the invitation, you have to consider the possibility that they will invite someone as their guest that you don't know. If you don't like that idea, you shouldn't have put what you did on your invitations.
Next, it was extremely rude of some people to invite more than one person and as such just come straight out and say 'we only meant that you could invite one person, it didn't say you can bring a group of people'. Say it in a nice but blunt way, they need to be told and put in their place as they were so damn rude to assume they could bring more than one guest at your expense, Just call up the person you invited and say choose one person to bring only, we can't afford lots, especially seeing as we don't know them!
I know you were just being nice, but I think you went the wrong way about this and now you have a situation to deal with which is annoying for you. Just do what you need to do to stick to good amount of people and budget. I'm sure things will work out.

Answer 3

They read the invite and they are not being nice by asking to bring their own party to your reception. You do not need to be nice to such people. Call them right away and tell them that there is no provision for more people. As a courtesy you were making allowances for them to bring a guest so they would not be alone. Tell them that to ask for more people to come is an imposition and that with the cost per head you simply cannot afford th have extra people or the people you did invite are going to be short changes. That is as nice as you need be but to such louts you should just say NO FREELOADERS.

Answer 4

I would send a nice note saying as much as we would like a lot of friends to come, unfortunately we have to limit each guest date to one , we are sorry if we didn't explain this. Return the cards where people have put more than one so they can choose. Its your wedding and people should do what you want! Hope you have a fab day

Answer 5

I guess they want to be polite but still aren´t sure of what person will they bring, that´s why they put few names, in case you´re very concerned about that you could ask them: hey have you already decided which one you´ll bring? just for the arrangement, you know! if they insist on bringing more people, make clear with your face expression that would cost you more, because you´re paying by plates, etc... unless their mom who lives in another country came to visit, etc, in that case I let them bring more people, but think, would they let you bring 3-4 people if that were their party?

Answer 6

You shouldn't have had the "date" bit on at all, but only invited either people you know, or really established couples.

Oh, well.

Since you clearly meant ONE date, not everyone they know, you can contact them and clear it up.

"I'm so sorry you misunderstood. We thought it was clear, but obviously it wasn't. We meant you could bring a single date."

(Take blame even though THEY are being rude; that keeps you from seeing rude.)

Answer 7

This is the danger of using vague language like "and guest" or "and family" where free champagne is involved. You must call these people and say something like "I'm sorry the wording of our invitation wasn't more clear, but we'll only be able to welcome you and one other person. I'm so sorry for any inconvenience it's caused. Which of these people shall I plan seating for?"

Answer 8

You absolutely have to tell them that space is limited and you only asked for one name. Do you know all of the people whose names have been put down? If not than it's especially important to draw the line and put your foot down. I knew people were cheeky but this is ridiculous!!!

Answer 9

Sometimes ya gotta be brutally honest. Tell them that 4 dates aren't in your budget. Just be up front about it. Call and ask if they aren't sure who they are bringing or which ONE are they bringing and let them know.

Answer 10

Tell them that you have already paid the caterer for a certain number of people. Ask them who they REALLY want to go. and then say something like, "but if enough people cancel, I will let you know if you can bring more people" Kind of a lie, but kind of not. hope that works.