We are on the path to trying to conceive a second child...but these last few days I have been thinking what life will be like with another child. Our son is almost five...and is constantly suggesting we give him "a little brother" NOW!
I'm interested in your input if you have two (or more!) children...what was it like adding to your family and routine? Did you feel a hit financially? Is there ever a "perfect time" to have a second child?
Thank you in advance for your real-life experiences!
2007-09-30 09:18:47 · 15 answers · asked by Lovin' Life As Mama & Wife 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
First of all, no ... there's never a "perfect" time to have a second (or any) child. Period. I mean that in an entirely positive way. If you kept waiting for finances, career, family issues, etc. to be perfect, you'd simply never have children, because that perfection rarely, if ever, comes ... at least for most of us "normal" folks. :)
Of course you'll have a few more financial considerations than you do with just one, but really, it's all things that can be worked around. In other words, if you can afford one, you can likely afford another. And there are plenty of ways you can actually save money with subsequent children, so it's not like you have to count on spending as much as you initially did with the first. You likely already have a crib, car seat, high chair, etc. -- assuming they're still in good condition and you didn't give them away, of course ;) -- so you can avoid many of the big-ticket purchases a first-time parent must make.
And of course, there are the simple, everyday things you can do to save some cash. Breastfeed, if at all possible (besides the well-known "breast is best" adage, formula is expensive! LOL). Besides reusing your older son's things -- especially if you have another boy LOL -- don't be afraid to accept things from friends and relatives. They're not generally going to try to pawn off broken, soiled or otherwise used-to-death items, after all. ;) You might also try consignment shops for certain items you might not already have, such as a little snowsuit for a winter baby if your son was born in summer. Things of that nature (that can be washed or otherwise sterilized LOL).
As to the basic issues one might consider before adding a second child, my own personal concern was mainly that our first would feel displaced by a sibling. She was 3 1/2 when our second daughter was born, and having been an only child until that point, I was afraid she wouldn't understand what was happening and feel we didn't love her as much or resent the new baby. Things of that nature. Turns out I had nothing to worry about, and she LOVES being the big sister (to two -- going on three -- baby sisters, now LOL).
The key for us was keeping her as excited about and involved with the pregnancy -- and resulting baby -- as possible. ;) She came to our midwife appointments and they let her "help" (pumping the blood pressure cuff and holding the Doppler to hear baby's heartbeat). She was even at both births ... and I have never seen such an excited big sister. LOL
Lucky for you, it doesn't seem you need to be too concerned about how your son will react to a sibling, since he's been actively inquiring about one! Sounds like it may be the perfect time to oblige, before he changes his mind! ;)
Good luck to you!
2007-09-30 09:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by Irish Mommy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well i agree with KMS. I myself was an only child and looking back not only was I always lonely but i can admit that i was a spoiled brat!!! I always promised myself to never have just one child. I now have 3 kids, and the easiest transition was going from 2 to 3 kids. It was just too simple adding the third one into the mix. And i don't really think there is ever a perfect time to add a 2nd child. But i do suggest that if you are going to have another one then do it as soon as possible so that they are not too far apart in ages. My first 2 kids are 27 months apart and my 2nd and 3rd are 40 months apart. Life is great with more than one child! Think about how much you love your son you have now and how great it would be to love another little person all over again. My love for all my children is the greatest feeling in the world, and the sense of pride that you feel for you children is wonderful. I do hope you do decide to have another one, children are such a blessing. Good Luck!
2007-09-30 09:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by 3J&2A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's all about what feels natural for your family. If you feel like another child will enrich your family, no time is a bad time. Financially, another child will cost your family more but I don't think I felt a "hit" after the birth of our second child. There are the expenses of formula and diapers and all the incidentals that go with being babies but it evens out over time. In my own experience, our second child was so much easier than the first child. My husband and I were seasoned parents the second time around, not the clueless nervous wrecks we were the first time. Our younger son's constant entertainment has been his big brother since the day he was born. It was just so different because we were/are so much more relaxed.
2007-09-30 13:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a "Perfect time" to have a second one, except when you feel physically ready. Mine are 3 years apart. We (I) planned on having a second one before my son turned 3- my husband wanted to wait until he was 5- that's a long story that I won't go into. Anyway, I got my wish. The entire time I was pregnant I would constantly double guess myself on whether or not we should have waited or even have a second one. Were we ready? Then I started thinking that right after I had the second, we'd start on a third. HAHAHA!! We got a little girl a few months after our son turned 3- I don't regret it at all, but I'll tell ya, I sure DO NOT want anymore. Two will give you a run for your money- especially if you're the one who does everything (baths, bedtime, etc.- like me). My sister-in-law has 4. I still don't know how she does it, but I know the older ones help out with the younger ones alot. Money-wise it was a bit of a strain, but not too bad, really. You adjust- plus, if you wait until you have enough money, you may never have anymore kids. I hope this helped. Good Luck!
2007-09-30 12:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Mars1111 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be grateful that they are alive and able to see your baby, and don't take anything they say to heart or personally. I had a natural delivery not by choice I just got to the hospital and was dilating at a super fast rate the baby was almost delivered by the nurse. I arrived at 6cm dilated and I pushed out the baby less than an hour later. Let me tell you GET THE EPIDURAL. I had my baby 6 days ago, I think I'll have nightmares about it for a lifetime. My first was with the epi way easier. Any how. As far as prenatal goes I didn't go to the doctor for the same reason you mom says, 22 weeks you need a sonogram and there is like a short list of tests you may need at other points aside from that you really don't need to see the doctor like they say you do now and days. I agree you don't need them sticking foreign things up there all the time. yuck.
2016-05-17 12:03:05 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got some good answers here, but I definitely agree w/ Brenda...you start to feel it financially w/ the 3rd child, but you really feel it when you hit the 4th. I think a 2nd child will be a breeze! As for a perfect time, there will probably never be one, so whenever you feel you are ready, go for it! I also agree on keeping the age gap not too far apart so they can play w/ eachother. Sounds like now would be a good time for you! Good luck!
2007-09-30 10:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm a second child... And my mom says I ruined her life... Obviously you have less spare money after you have another baby... I think now would be a good time for another child because your son is in school for at least part of the day so you wont be as busy as someone with 2 very young kids...
2007-09-30 11:00:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I do not have 2 children but my sister does and I can see the troubles she goes through. It will be a little easier for you since you have support from your husband. As for financially it will be a little more expensive because you have to shop for two children now and it can get pricey. If your have financial concerns now why don't you start saving up ahead of time until you feel comfortable enough. Good luck to you!
2007-10-01 06:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is never a perfect time to have a child. I am a firm believer in having more than one child. Parents with multiple children can usually spot out an only child a mile away from their behavior. Having more than one will help teach how to share, patience, listening skills, communication skill and how to solve problems. I have found that when my kids have a friend over and the friend is an only child, that friend is usually stubborn, selfish and sometimes rude.
2007-09-30 09:24:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I am glad I have a son and daughter. The are a year and a half apart. Their wasn't that much more of a financial responsibility and now that they are 16 and 17, seeing them as young adults has been well worth it.
2007-09-30 11:52:57 · answer #10 · answered by dsrtrat 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋