i know i keep going on about having negative people around me dragging me down but i am also very afraid of?

Question

other peoples actions because at times they have caused me trouble and then stabed me in the back want can i do about

Answer 1

You need some new friends. Why is it OK with you to allow people to abuse you?

Answer 2

The answer is when you have negative karma around you (which is generally caused by negative feelings and emotions) it DOES drag you down aswell.

I have been in very hostile negative environments and the toll of the stress and negative atmosphere dragged me and myy emotions down more than words can express. The only way I managed to get away and be happy was to leave that environment and start with a happier one or create one myself and distance myself from the negative- it's very hard to do. For example if anyone saw Eastenders tonight the large lady was leaving her Mother who supressed her- the reason she found it hard was although the environment is no good for her there are still emotional ties and often people feel the responsibility to try to mend the bad karma themselves... which often doesn't work. In life you are the only person who can change your life and you alone so you can guide others but you can't change things for them unless they want them to change no matter how hard you try.

If other peoples actions are causing you trouble- you very much need to be cruel to be kind and distance yourself and find a new path.

Stay strong and you will suceed in the end. You can achieve happiness, once you are happy then you will find it easier to help other but remember you can never change someone unless they want to so sometimes you have to let them see the results of their mistakes alone. xxx

Answer 3

I am in a similar boat, except I find that I am not getting stabbed in the back by these people, I am frightened of their reactions as they seem dependent on me - and I don't feel like I have the strength for them to need me.
I think that you have to ensure your responses to these negative people are always positive. Don't give them opportunity to stay negative around you, by simply refusing to accept whatever they are saying - they may start to become positive too.

If you can, you really need to ease yourself away from these people. Do it cautiously and take your time. Perhaps see them less each week until it's barely ever - but ensure you are still very friendly when around them and never gossip about them so that it gets back to them.
Find an "issue" to blame if you need to; Work, family, headaches, no money - whatever you think they will believe.
I hope it won't take you long to find yourself amongst more positive people. Try not to isolate yourself though, I love being alone, but it never does my mental health any good.

Answer 4

There are possibly two main courses of action, go or stay. The go option leaves you out on a limb, you may find you end up lonelier. The stay option is probably going to end up being lonely after a period of negativity that will take a awfully large lever to put right. So my advice to you is stay and go, toughen up with these people subtly, but always keep an eye on the escape. Its alot easier to make new friends when you are out and about with people. So the plan is you are going when the time is right for you but in no circumstances let on about your plan!!!

Answer 5

What you must figure out is what you get from perceiving others around you as being negative influences that have an effect on your life. Is this allowing you to avoid taking the responsibility for situations you should be changing? Everyone does what works for them, and the fact that you have had this belief system for so long says it's working for you in some way. I'm not criticizing you, by the way. We all do things that are dysfunctional until we figure out what we're really doing to ourselves.

Answer 6

You have to so a serious clean up pf your circle of friends. You will have to cut ties with anyone whom you feel brings negative energy to you. You may end up being alone for a while, but that is better than being miserable and being around those who will bring you anguish. Take time to be alone and be happy with yourself, because until yo u do so, no one will be happy around you either.

Answer 7

negative people do bring you down ,when im around people like this it make me ill ,and im the same dont answer friends when they are stabbing other friends in the back stay away if you can ,life is so hard try making sopme more friend that are nice and make you laugh this will help you xx

Answer 8

I can tell u NOW 100% get rid of negative people from your life.
They will make u feel bad.
You'd be better alone,then u would at least be free to meet positive people

Answer 9

Unfortunately we can not control other people's behavior. The best thing you can do is be very careful about who you choose to hang out with and be your friends.
do not tell all and be quick to trust everybody. This sets you up to vulnerability.

Answer 10

Learn to create your own boundaries -appropriately- by knowing what is acceptable and what is not to you. Clarifying your own needs, likes and dislikes, helps you assert yourself calmly and firmly, without needing to feel victimized or feeling either angry or aggressive. Do not feel shy to tell others, politely, what is OK and what is not. It is OK to walk away from a situation that is not right for you.