How does one deal with the death of their last living parent?

Answer 1

Well, my wife lost her last parent about 2 yrs ago and it was reaaly tough on her. We struggled with this because not only did she just sit around wishing her mom would come back, she kinda tried to numb the pain and try tjo ignore it. And when she did think back about her, she would think of all the things she "could have done better" and all of the bad memories they had. But the truth is they had a very good relationship and I know that if I died, I wouldn't want anybody sitting around sulking about how they could have treated me better. I would want them to be happy with thier lives and when they did think of me, remember me at my best and remember al the good times we had. My wife was so sad she just wanted to give up on life (school, raising her bros. and sis.) but I told her that, that would be the worst thing she could do. Her mom was the only one pushing her to go to college and make something of her life. Her mother taught her good morals and priciples. The best way to honor her is to fullfill her dreams and be that good person she tried so hard to raise. i know the pain is still raw and it hurts, but when you wonder what you should do, just ask yourself what your parent would have advised you to do. They wouldn't want you to hurt and suffer and be miserable, they would want to see you flourish and build the best life you possibly could. Good Luck

Answer 2

Not easily. It's a shock. And a numbness. And a realisation that they're gone and that you're now at the head of the line.
Get to any other members of the family ASAP. You need the mutual support.
Then, there are the legal and practical things that need to be attended to. Death certificates, funeral arrangements, the deceased last wishes, if any. Take any help you can get to handle these matters.
Then grieve. It's a long process, sometimes, but a necessary one. Recognize grief for what it is. It will pass, don't be ashamed of it.
And finally, if there is a friend who is going through this process...some practical support would be of great help, whether it's a sympathetic ear, a shoulder to cry on or some food to eat...

Answer 3

Your wife reacted sort of like I did when my Mom died three years ago. She had been an invalid for many years, and I had sole care of her. My whole life was built around her and her comfort. When she died, I felt so empty, so depressed. I didn't think I had a reason to keep on going, now that she was gone.
After going into a severe depression, I finally realized that I had indeed done my best for her. The guilt was replaced by all the sweet memories we had shared together. I found I needed to forgive her for some things, and I did in time. It is so painful to lose your last parent. Feels so lonely, not to have either parent to lean on and be loved by them.
It has taken some time and work, but now I accept Mama's death, and the pain is much less.

Answer 4

Hi. If it has happened already, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss; if it's just being anticipated, then I hope that you get thru it as sanely as you can. It can be the most heart-wrenching, mind boggling experience in your life when you lose a parent, especially A MOM, and especially if you were close to her. If she/he was ill and suffering with no sight of getting a cure, or even elderly and just plain old Tired, then you would rather for them to be out of pain, free of the worries and stress and having peace and quiet and the rest they probably needed from not being in control of things and being independant of others. So if you're prayerful and know that Peace has been found by your loved one, and for yourself and other family members as well; although the pain has ended, and once the missing has began, you just have to think of the good times..the best of times, that that parent had while healthy, as well as the good times and beautiful memories of them that you had with them, and let Time and Love heal the "Hole" left with their transition to another level of "High Living" and know that they're in a better palce and that you will see them again, happy and healthy and FOREVER!! God Bless You and Yours!!!

Answer 5

This happened to me a few years ago, my father was eighty eight so it was not really unexpected. I did however experience a feeling of loss because he was no longer there and that was the end of the generation. There are usually people or institutions that will help with grief counselling if you feel the need to talk to someone, sometimes it is easier to speak to a stranger in these circumstances as the embarrassment is not there. Your town hall or library should be able to point you in the direction of these agencies.

Answer 6

It is hard to deal with the death of anyone we love but one thing that helped a friend of mine, you can go to memory-of.com and set up a tribute page with pictures, tributes and candles that can be lit for the person and that helps a little by giving you a way for the person to be with you in that sense.

Answer 7

Time heals all wounds -- a lot of time. Mom's been gone
about 5 years now, it still hurts a little.