Am I pushing my kids too hard?

Question

I am a single parent and I do my job to make sure my kids have everthng they need to be comfortable. I help my kids with theiir homework daily and I expect for them to get straight A's. There only job is being a kid, doing homework and having fun. I am not strict, or mean and I get compliments from others (and the kids) about being a great mother. However I did not have this sort of dicipline in life and I want them to have every opportunity in life that I did not have. Good grades will get them there when the time is right. Am I wrong to expect straight A's and B's. My kids are 10, 9, and 3 . The 10 year old is the only one receviing letter grades right now

Answer 1

Expect A's, but don't be harsh if there's a subject your child just can't quite grasp as well and gets B's or C's in. It happens. Just keep being as supportive as you are, and thing will be great! :)

Answer 2

My mom was the same way. At the time I got my first B, I was so scared to bring my report card home. I had honestly done the best job I could. School was becoming more difficult and the grade wasn't because of missing work or failed test. To look back I appreciate that my mom pushed me. It truly made me who I am today. However, there are children out there who can't get the grades. I think parents need to evaluate each child on an individual basis and make their decision from there. As long as your child puts forth the effort to make good grades that should be enough. While your 10 year old may be receiving good grades your 3 year old might struggle with school and you can't have the same expectations for him. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have a 10,9 and 6 yr old........all of them are different and unique in some ways. Don't over do it. I am sure your a wonderful mom but the kids are the ones that live with you not other people. They are just kids.........they will do good if you instill those values and you already have so they know what you expect. Just reward them for all the good they do and school gets harder for some kids so don't expect them all to be the same ok. They will lose it sometimes but eventually they will come back. Just take it easy and have fun with them. They are kids and don't know what it is to be an adult........all they know is the here and now.............We know the past, present and future because we have grown up. Good luck and God Bless and I commend you for asking this question.

Answer 4

I don't think your expectations are too high, but your method of measuring their success may be unrealistic. Getting good grades is wonderful, but you child may lose his self esteem and feel like a failure if he doesn't make that strict cut off you've set. Some where along the line, he'll come across a really difficult challenging class, and what happens when he makes a C even when he has worked hard and applyed himself? Make sure your children know it isn't the end result that is being rewarded, but instead the effort that is being put forth.

Answer 5

It is wrong to expect A's. All you should expect is that your child do the best work he is capable of doing. Kids get depressed when this kind of pressure is placed on them. Some will cheat or badger the teacher for better grades than they deserve.
There are other important lessons in life that you can teach your children instead of grubbing for grades. Do they volunteer to help those less fortunate than themselves? Are they involved in sports, music, art, etc? These subjects can be very rewarding as well as a good outlet. Also you should expect your kids to do chores. When they go to college or are on their own, they will need to know how to clean up after themselves, do laundry, cook, do some basic sewing, etc. These are important lessons that every child needs to learn.

Answer 6

Its great you are taking such an interest in your childrens life from an early age - i mean in their education, being hands on and wanting to help - its great. I know when i was younger my mum didnt help much with my homework, or really got involved with it.

Of course parents want their children to do the very best they can, put pushing them is something different. As they get older, the grades will get more important. Make sure they are capable of doing the work - its good to help, but dont be doing the work for them. When it gets to exam time they wont know the work and they will stress out over it even more. I hope you know what i mean, i hope i havent insulted you in anyway.

Make sure they like the work they are doing at school, also encourage them to talk to the teachers too if they need help with homework. No-one can be good at every subject, and its not the end of the world if maybe they dont do as good as you wnat them to. If they have tried their hardest and come out with a 'C' for example, show positive encouragement.

I know with one of my friends this year - we just sat our last exams of high school - and her parents pushed and pushed her to get straight A's - and she ended up only getting 1 out of 8 because she worried about pleasing her parents so much, trying too hard and made herself ill and blew the exams.

So encourage and support them by all means, just dont push them and make them feel crap if they dont live up to what you expect fo them - it might just be too much.

Answer 7

YOU SHOULD WANT YOU KIDS TO DO THERE BEST

BUT there best might not be straight A's they may need some help along the way, and once there school work gets harder its going to be harder on them

if they get a bad grade you should ask them, Do you think this is the best you could of done? if they say yes then go over the an answers they got wrong and help them learn the right answer. if they say no then ask them why not some times kids get stressed out even more then adults do and it makes it hard to do school work

Answer 8

I think you're doing great! You're giving them the best possible life and preparing them for the future. Good grades are very important - your children may not realize the importance now, but once high school comes, their grades are going to determine much of their future (where they go to college, if they get an academic scholarship or monetary grant, etc.). I'd say you're doing a fabulous job! Keep up the good work!

Answer 9

No, you are not wrong, grades are very important & the need to know it. But do not Freak Out or Go Crazy if a "C" comes home. If it happens, Talk to your children & think of ways together on how you can improve the grade.

I know someone that screamed at her kid (8 years old) for getting a "C" on a paper. She made her child feel like a piece of dirt. It was totally uncalled for. Just don't be like that.

Answer 10

You are doing great. You should expect the best from them, and if you don't they will probably slack off and not try as hard. When they get a little older why not offer them rewards for their good grades and behavior, to make it worth while for them. When they get into high school they will be motivated themselfs to earn good grades so that they can get into a good college.

Answer 11

Actually Mom, you most definately are strict if you are asking for straight A's from your children from report card number one. Not that strict is bad, but you are definately more strict than their friends parents will be. Straight A's is not something most parents request, but I can certainly see why you'd want them to have that. Make sure they know you value WHO they are character-wise as much as what they earn grade-wise.

Remember that the elementary school grades are not a part of their permanent record. They can make the occasional B and no one will get a lesser job in their future. You can go to many colleges having A's and B's.

It's all going to work out just fine.