my mother-in-law and sister-in-law are both comfortable with being somewhat heartless?

Question

however, my wife is very passive with them. Both her mother and sister get away with bossing her around and making my wife do all the birthday and family crap that involves them.
Although, I have to admitt it's gotten better over the years, but it still happens at least once a month.

They also call on me for everything they need. Fixing cars, toilets, sinks, ceiling fans, landscaping , etc. ...

The other night, my mother-in-law rose her voice at me because I was running late taking my son to Cub Scouts, and the mother-in-law was there to watch my two year old daughter.
My two year old cries when my son and I leave for scouts without her ( she is a huge distraction at the den meetings).
But last meeting both my son and I were running late, and my mother-in-law was pissed off because she had taken my daughter out, and when they came home we still hadn't left.
My wife's mother yelled, "WHY HAVEN'T YOU LEFT YET, I D0N'T WANT TO HAVE TO HEAR HER CRYING"!

my question is, SHOULD I STAND UP TO THE B I T CH ? I DON'T MIND A GOOD FIGHT, BUT MY WIFE MIGHT GO TO PIECES OVER IT !!!

Answer 1

Someone needs to be adult enough to stand up to your in-laws. You do it since your wife won't. If she falls to pieces, tell her so be it, if they start in with you again, you will set them straight again.

Answer 2

MY mother is the same way and for years it caused so much drama between me n my boyfriend because i would always tell him that is just how she is and make excuses for her cuz i wanted her in my life it took her to do something that included my son for me to finally realize how stupid i was being i'm a very strong person i don't let anyone tell me anything without standing up for myself except when it came to my mom. But i am telling you, you n ur wife need to have a big talk n you need to tell her she is a big girl now and if she keeps letting her mom control her like that she is gonna do it for the rest of her life. I know from experience. You 2 will be so much happier if you stand up to her and tell her how you feel. if she dnt like it oh well. at first your wife will be depressed but once she realizes it was the right thing to do and she wakes up I promise she will be the happiest she has ever been in her life. It will also help your relationship more than you know

Answer 3

Wow, think what it must have been like for your wife growing up ... don't damage your relationship with your lovely wife because her mother is insensitive. "Kill mama meanie with kindness" - just smile and nod pleasantly whenever she gets like that, then ignore her bad manners. Your wife should appreciate it, and will probably have less stress if you can just not let her get to you. You don't need to be passive. You can be the adult and respond quietly and politely to her rants IF you desire to do so. Someday she will be gone, or at least not in your lives in the same way. Your wife and kids are yours forever ...

Answer 4

You can either stand up to it or let her carry your balls around in your purse. Its your call. If your wife falls to pieces just pick the pieces up and tell her you got tired of the BS and you also want her to stand up. Who wants to live like that being bullied all the time? Id rather pay a babysitter and stay away from them then be bullied for life.

Answer 5

1. find a new sitter for your daughter or listen to the MIL's crap
2. start saying no what is she going to do? not watch the kids? if she is verbally abusive towards adults do you really think she is right for the kids to be around?
3. So what if the wife goes to pieces over it she should have stood up to her long ago.
when my hubby and I got married my MIL hated me but i told her i wasnt marrying her only her son if she didnt like it she didnt have to go to the wedding (which she didnt) i dont like people like that and i will stand up to them because i wont be treated like garbage and i dont deserve to be either and neither do you or your wife! because i stood up to her we have become friends because i set boundaries and refuse to take it (its what caused my hubby's first marriage to crumble) she once told me i didnt buy the right clothes for my daughters (i have 2 girls) i told her i was not about to spend $30-$40 on a dress they will only wear once.... the whole time they were in elementary school she bought their clothes (name brand) because i refused to do it... she wanted to buy it so i said go ahead it dont hurt my feelings not one bit.