i need some one to talk to ?

Question

Hi,
I was raped 3 months ago and I really feel like I need some one to talk to but I don’t know where to start. I had a councillor last year because of being abused, but this councillor betrayed my trust and kept trying to push me into prosecuting the abuser. I really didn’t feel ready at the time .Then the abuser raped me 3 months ago. Now iv started 6th form and I really want to be committed to my A levels but I just can’t be because iv always got things on my mind. I really want to do well but I feel totally alone at the moment. I have lots of friends but I just don’t feel comfortable talking to them about something this personal and I just cant face telling my family as its just too much. I just don’t feel I can talk to the police about what happened and if I go to see another councillor I don’t want that to be the focus or be pushed into it. Does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

Lisa, Please don't blame yourself, you did nothing wrong.
Call this number to talk to someone. Do this as soon as possible.
1-800-656-HOPE

Answer 2

Oh you poor thing! What an awful time you have had. Could you find a more sympathetic councillor? Let them know what happened last time and tell them that you don't want to do the legal bit ( although that person should rot in hell for what they have done to you ) Do you have a councillor or mentor at school? They would be really sympathetic and may even go to appointments with you or maybe choose one of your trusted friends to talk to, i'm sure that they would be 100% behind you. You really do need to sort this out or it may affect the rest off your life and the abuser will have won. Please talk to someone and get the help you really need and deserve x good luck x

Answer 3

Oh you poor baby I just want to give you a big hug and say what a brave girl you are to bear this terrible trauma you have had. You must be so heavy in heart to carry this massive burden alone. I know this is terribly hard for you sweetheart but only you can put a stop to this 'animal' from hurting you forever. You must muster up all the strength you can find and
tell someone who can help you. This man has betrayed you
and hurt you so much. He must be stopped before he can hurt you or another young victim again. You have found the inner courage to bear your soul to the Yahoo community, can you do it one more time seetheart and tell someone like Childline or your own doctor? It will be treated with the strictest of confidence. You must do this for your own protection and finally be able to put some closure on this
burden. I am sure you have all the love in the world from the people who love you, they will support you no end darling.
Please prosecute this fiend. Good luck.

Answer 4

Hello,

(ANS) My sincere advise would be to seek out your nearest rape crisis center, why? because these centers are run by women for women, and not only that they will be very experienced, skilled, knowledgeable and sensitive to your situation.

NOTE:- Most rape crisis have a help line and they will be able to offer (I think?) face to face private & confidential counseling.

**NOTE: No! thats right the police wont be able to offer the in depth emotional nor psychological support that a good experienced counselor should be able too.

**As a fully trained & experienced counselor & therapist, I would suggest that a counselor shouldn't give you advise or push you into making any decisions as to prosecution or legal process's. Thats NOT a counselor or therapists job, they can only help you to make your own decisions.

**Rape is an extremely traumatic experience and right now you probably feel very numb, possibly that would go some way to explaining why your feeling very alone (separated) from others. Possibly your feeling very cut off which is a normal response to such a horrific experience. Given a good holding place and a good counselor, a place where you can start to feel safe once again, then and only then will you be able to start to face the real feelings.

**If you are in any doubt about a counselor or therapist a) ask them about their training and how long they have been practicing and treating clients.

If you have any doubts seek a counselor who is BAC accredited or UKCP accredited and qualified. Any such practitioner should be BAC or UKCP registered on the professional register of practitioners.

Please take extra special care of yourself right now during this vulnerable time.

I hope some of what I have said may be of use?

Kind Regards Ivan
(ex member of energy stream's practitioners group of therapists).

Answer 5

I used to work at the CAB. We used such organisations as: Victim Support and The Rape Crisis Centre. The Samaritans are the recommended best, for just talking. Most organisations are geared towards criminal prosecution. But the police will give a victim hell on earth to suss them out. This is often worse then the original crime.
Family members may be a best option, until you feel well enough to pursue the criminal. Remember, you could be preventing another episode to another person. Do not bottle this up, just to get on with education. Education can wait.
Talk to your GP, you can request a specific sex if need be.
All of the best to you.
PS: make no mention of details on this or any other site, as this would be seen as victimistion of the offender, and it could assist them during any further prosecution.

Answer 6

A difficult one this, because of your age it is still classed as a child protection issue so most people you talk to will want to report it and will no doubt encourage you to do so. Also there is the point that people do seem to recover better if they do report it and follow through to charges being brought.

If you want to talk in total anonymity, then contact the Samaritans or Childine in the first instance. You could also try Victims Support or Rape Crisis.

I really do feel for you and I know how hard it must be, but you must seek some help to get through this. If all else fails, contact me by email and I will 'chat' with you on there.

Answer 7

Try these:

Samaritans- UK: 08457 90 90 90

http://www.samaritans.org

Childline- UK: 0800 11 11

http://www.childline.org.uk

Stay strong, you have been very strong so far. The perpentrator does really deserve to be brought to justice- I don't know the ins and outs but it sounds like they have not been put off and have continued to carry on and my only concern would be that they do this again.

I am not a trained councillor and if you feel you cannot talk to friends or family then you need to take things as you feel comfortable but if there is a family member or friend that you trust and feel you could it would be beneficial for you to but only in your own time.

It sounds like you do need some one to talk to and are quite desperate hence your posting so it is very important to talk to someone.

Try to give one of the above helplines a call who know how to deal with these issues and can point you in the right direction and in your own time you can choose where to go forward with things and they will be with you every step of the way.

Stay strong, call them (they are there 24 hours) and good luck babe,my heart goes out to you. xx They can help.

Answer 8

Contact the rape crisis centre - http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/index.html

You must talk to someone about this - preferably a trained counsellor - why not go to your GP and ask for a referral. Can you talk to your mum about this.

You could also try the Samaritans who could help and would be able to offer you other helpful organisations in your area.

I am so sorry for your terrible experience and wish you all the best for the future. You sound like a very strong person but you do not have to be alone - there is help out there. x

Answer 9

I was raped at 17 in the most violent ways possible.i was also locked in a room for 2 months and was not allowed to talk to anyone.i finally got out and away from that.i was to scared to contact the police and never did.now i regret it because he is doing it to more people.if i were you I'd go to the cops before it does it to someone else.Your parents should be there for you all the way.what happened is not your fault at all.It's your body and your the only one who should control it!If you don't trust your councilor get another one.I went trough the same thing and completely understand what your going through.It's been 4 years and it still bothers me.if you don't do anything about,trust me it won't be good for you.

Answer 10

Sorry that you have had to go though all that. Find another counselor. let this new counselor know what had happened with the last counselor and the goals you want to achieve. You are hiring the counselor to help you and give you advice on what you need. They should not steer you in the direction they want you to go. You know what you want so make sure that is clear up front. You have to be somewhat aggressive in what you want in a counselor. Remember that you are paying them. Good luck.

Answer 11

Right now the most important thing is to do what you are comfortable with. If you want to concentrate on your A levels then do so.
People will say they understand what your going through but of course know one does because what happened to you was to you, I know how I felt when it happened to me but that doesn't help you.
Do not let yourself feel pressured into doing anything you do not want to do.
Remember it's you life so don't let him take it away from you.
What you do from now on is up to you just don't let the b*stard win.
Good luck