Can 12year old in West Virginia decide whether he wants any contact with his mother?

Question

His mother goes 5 to 6 months without contact, this has been going on now for the last 7 years. He has finially decided himself that he is tired of it and wants nothing to do with her

Fortunately I am his father.

I have had physical and legal custody of him since the age of one

She is supposed to have bi weekly weekend visitations with him that stop 7 yrs ago..

Thanks markar , this was his own decsion. He came to me and told me that this is what he wanted. I sat him down and ask for the reasoning. He told me he was tired of the lies that she always promises when she would call. I told I would support him in any can.

Answer 1

A child in order to be a well balanced adult, needs both parents in their life. I am an adult of divorced parents. My Dad was not perfect, but I cannot imagine not have had him in my life (or his family). Half of who I am is him, I wouldnt be able to identify those things in me, if I didn't have him in my life.

Answer 2

No problem here.... next time she calls or comes around tell her he doesn't want to see her! He might even be strong enough to tell her. He could write her a letter and tell her that if she doesn't come around at least once a month that he doesn't want to see her. No need for a lawyer at this point. He's hurting and wants to 'get even' with her so let him. It will help him to feel like he is the decision maker not her. As he gets older he may decide he wants to have a relationship and if so, let him. At this point, you can just be supportive of his feelings and I know you are. Isn't it awful when our child suffers and we can't 'fix' it!? I had the same situation with one of my sons and his dad. I let him go out of state at 15 to see him and my son was disappointed because dad didn't pay much attention to him. I had to let him go but I was so afraid he'd want to keep him. HA! It was worse - dad didn't want anything to do with him. Dad kept telling him to go play with dad's new 4 step-kids. It's awful how these absent parents can't step up to the plate! Thank God your son has you!

Answer 3

WHello,, did he make that decision or did you plant the seed of doubt? If he wants to decide for himself I'd say get a lawyer, but if it comes out in court you put the thought in his head they should give him back to his mother so you will be the one who visits. My son is 12 soon to be 13 and has not been over since before school got out in May. I try to call and his mom tells him to hang up, to keep her happy he does. I e-mail and get sometimes, one liner responses, nothing personal, but that sucks dead meat. She had drunk driving charge with him in the car. The State of OHIO does not care for the safety of their taxpaying citizens children, so good luck in west Virginia.

Answer 4

Trust me, please.

Don't force him to have contact with her. Maybe when he is older and when she matures a bit they may want to try to make contact again.

I understand to clearly the pain of being continually lied to and let down by a parent. With me it was my biological father. There was always the promise that he would come to visit and he never showed up. He never even paid any child support.

But please go to a lawyer and you may have to go before a judge at family court. He will listen to your sons concerns.

It is your job as father to protect your son. If you don't he will grow up with a warped way of seeing other people and have issues with trust.

Answer 5

i think legally he can...and it saddens me...
im an alienated parent and i dont mind telling you, that if i knew exactly what it was i did to deserve it, i would accept the blame, non the less, if it is true,
the fact that she has the choice at all to see him and doesn't take advantage of the right to be with her son is insulting to me...and it sounds to me like your son has the right to move on, and enjoy life without constantly dissapointed by someone he deeply loves..
if i truely felt my children were better off without me ,I wouldn't have fought so hard and for so long....but because of thier choice, i believe to be thier very choice own, I , finally,accept resposibility for the fact that they are so hurt by me, it no longer mattters what it was i said or did..
i think he is old enough to recognise a toxic relationship of this magnitude, and maybe we could learn a little about what comes 'from the mouths of babes!

Answer 6

tell him that letting her go with make him hurt alot but in the long run he will become stronger from it and learn that it has nothing to do with him. that some people are not able to keep their word. it doesnt mean that he shouldnt trust anyone ,but know that in life some people dont put others first that they think of themself only. alot of other people let others think for them . that ne never has to worry about his future with you,and the choices that he makes is not something that cant be changed later down the road if he ever wants to talk to her to see how she is or to ask her why.

Answer 7

No, however, a good judge will always listen to what the children have to say. The mother still has rights, even the bad ones.

Answer 8

Your son sounds as though he's mature enough to make a decision like this. If she's going to make promises and break them, he has no obligation to trust her. And if he doesn't want a relationship with someone he can't trust, well I certainly can't blame him.

Let him decide.

TX Mom

Answer 9

I believe he can. But he'll have to talk to his father about it or whoever the guardian is and arrange a hearing.

Answer 10

Why not??
If you're a good father, I think you have to ask your child to contact your wife...