Raped when eleven...?

Question

Erm...when I was eleven I think my grandfather raped me, whilst I was asleep in his house. I'm not sure whether he actually did thoough, because I dont really remember any of it, its very fuzzy and its more the aftermath that makes me remember it...if that makes sense. I'm fifteen now....and I dont know what to do. The memories I've repressed are coming back but the memories are very basic..I cant stand him touching me or talking to me. He leers at me sometimes in a really horrible way. I'm very nervous, i cant sleep away from home, I check closets for men before I go to sleep.....
What should I do?

I already see a school counsellor and counsellor for depression and anxiety.....if I tell them then they will have to tell my parents. I dont want to tear apart my family over something im not ENTIRELY SURE happened.

Like the fourth person said, I dont want to throw around accusations, over something that im not sure happened. I just cant shake off what I feel....

Answer 1

If I were you I'd get the book, The Courage to Heal--maybe at the Library and read up on the after effects of sexual abuse. Even if you don't remember the incident clearly doesn't mean you're not suffering and the symptoms you describe sound like you've been violated.

It is possible to be sexually abused and not remember it (blocking or situational amnesia). That sometimes happens and those who suffer from the symptoms--with out knowing the true causes-- still need these issues addressed with a professional.

Answer 2

The fact that you can not remember for sure suggests some sort of blocking mechanism your brain did for you. I always go with intuition and if you are all of a sudden having memory flashbacks and just sensing that something is out of place with the old man, then more than likely something did happen.

Scary thought, but I would approach him about it. Just say, "I remember" and see how he reacts.

If you are seeing a counselor, good. Talking about it is the best medicine.

Answer 3

I am so sorry to hear this. I think it would be best if you spoke to your parent's and if this isn't possible, then a trusted aunt, uncle, godparent or lastly, a school guidance counselor.

The wisest thing that should happen is, you should probably have therapy. This will most likely help you find out if it happened positively or if not, why you are having these kind of thoughts and feelings.

Please seek help and guidance from your loved ones.

Also, keep Jesus in your heart and pray for help from the lord to get you throught this.

God Bless You and Keep You.

Answer 4

Sorry to hear; I was raped by my Catholic priest at 7. Took me 35 years to come to know this happened, however, it devastated my life all along those years. Don't NOT deal with this. You can talk with your consular without saying you know who. Then latter after working on it you will know WHO did it and can decide then what you want to do, in regards to the abuser.

Answer 5

I understand how you feel. Something very similar happened to me. BUT like you, I didn't remember what happened. In my opinion, if you don't specifically remember him abusing you, it is a far too serious accusation to just throw out there.

Answer 6

I think you need to talk to someone, a school counselor, parent, someone you trust and see what they say. I'm very sorry this happened to you but the best way to make things better is to start by telling someone.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

This is very serious. If you are sensing he leers at you now, then you may not be off base. You need to bring this up. It is affecting your life and may be affecting other children's lives also. Your parents need to support you in this.

Answer 8

Tell your parents!! Which you should have done years ago, but now there is no physical evidence.