Judaism doesn't tell me how to feel close to G-d. How do I get to that point?

Question

We are in the midst of the High Holy Days. All this focus on services, teshuvah, do this, do that. Doing all these things because it is what G-d wants. When do the feelings come?

Answer 1

That depends on you. What makes you feel close to G-d? There's no requirement in Judaism that you feel closest to HaShem during services. Some people just don't.

Edit:

Um, I'm Jewish.

Answer 2

I'm also Jewish, hope I can help a tiny bit.

Judaism as a religion is not about ritual; it's about action. So don't worry if you don't feel anything in particular during an actual service. I suspect many people don't!

I find it helpful to focus on the 'little things' in life; those small, everyday events or experiences that leave me feeling uplifted. The only time I think I ever had what I would call a 'religious' or 'spiritual' experience, was in Jerusalem, when I went to the Wailing Wall.

So long as you lead an ethical life, and are honest both with yourself, and others, then don't worry too much about how you 'feel' in relation to G-d. It's great that you are going to synagogue during the High Holy Days. And who knows? Possibly the intensity of feeling you are searching for may just happen when you are least expecting it...!

Answer 3

Feeling Close to G-d
Every autumn the township gathers the development’s leaves into a two story tall pile. The neighborhood kids love to jump off the top into the leaves below. When my son was eleven, he lost both sneakers while jumping in the leaves. Armed with a rake we were able to find only one sneaker before it became too dark to search further. The next morning, after looking for an hour, we prayed to Hashem for help. We asked Him to guide us to the right place though we would do the actual looking. My son then picked a spot that we had already looked in many times. With one swipe of the rake I moved aside a bunch of leaves and there was the sneaker.

Some people find it easy to feel G-d’s presence and others have trouble feeling close to G-d. While people’s feelings may vary, G-d’s response is consistent for anyone who seeking. He will guide where to look though the person must do the looking. “And from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him, if you seek Him with all your heart and with all your soul.” 1 The Baal Shem Tov taught that “from there” means that G-d meets a person at his own level, as long as the person is seeking Him.2

It is also important to be seeking the right target. Those seeking to feel close to G-d may never succeed. On the other hand, if one seeks to BE close to G-d, the feelings may follow. Doing those things that G-d says unifies our souls with Him will draw one close.

Elijah was told to stand on a mount before HaShem.3 When HaShem passed by there was a great wind that broke the rocks but, HaShem was not in the wind. Then there was an earthquake but, He was not in the earthquake. Then there was a fire but, He was not in the fire. After the fire there was a still small voice and that was HaShem.
Many times people look for emotional experiences, entertaining prayer services, etc. That is not where He is. It is important to seeking Him where He is and not just where one wants Him to be.

Some souls may have a harder time. This may sound trite but, each soul has it's own mission. It may well be that for some their mission is to seek under difficult conditions, where it is hard to feel like they are making any progress.

Finally, experience has shown that there must be a first step. That step is to acknowledge that if there is a greater Being, that one wants to know that Being.

1. Deuteronomy 4:29

2. Living Each Day-Tishrei-Cheshvan, Rabbi A. Twerski, p19.

3. I Kings 19: 9-13

Answer 4

Ahh- but the whole time the Torah is telling us to Love God- to fear God a s achild fears a father, and to serve God in happinness! That is why Sukkot follows so soon after the Yamim Noraim. Don't forget the alterante name for Sukkot-Zman Simchateinu, the time of our rejoicing, and the extraordinary sacrifice of the Water Libation- about which the Talmud in Masechta Sukkos says "he who never saw the Water Libation, never understood true joy". So why Zman Simchateinu so soon after the Yamim Noraim?

Its a contrast- during the Yamin Noraim we are meant to focus on repentance- on the attributes fo God in his aspect of Divine Justice- our feelings are subsumed in the awe and fear of God as the Divine King and Judge- yet we are meant to still ove and be happy in that time! Difficult, so Sukkos comes soon after and our joy and love of God is the focus- pur connection to God as father and the King of Mercy is emphasised.

So now, why all the paraphenalia? Why the rituals and acts? Its the same as daily prayer. We can pray however we like (with the exception of the Shema which we are directly commanded to), but Chazal (Chahamim zichron l'tove- the sages of the Sanhedrin) put a set format to it. why? To guide us- to make sure that in our emotion, in our daily whirl of activity we did not forget anything- that we remembered that prayer for the many is more efficacious than prayer for the individual (indeed, it is said that praying that somebdoy else receives somethings it is the best way to get that thing for yourself!) Similarly- the rituals and the acts of the Yamim Noraim guide us- our emotions are such that we may forget, our prayers and acts become inappropriate as we focus on what we deem important to the detriment fo other things. But the emotions are meant to be there- indeed, many of the actions are designed to bring us closer to God.

Think of it like this- we have only our own understanding - the purpose of the mandated actions is to guide us according to the wisdom of people that are guided by thousands of years of tradition and study- every action is meant o help us in some way. Teshuvah brings us closer to god in his atribute of his forgiving us (mercy), forgiving others brings us closer to God in hos attribute of Divine Judge- where he starts by forgiving us - and only then looking at some sins (See Mishne Torah, Hilchos Teshuvah) and so on.

the feelings should be htere- a good idea is to understand the prayers in order to understand what emotions should be evoked- what the purpose of any particular prayer is. Nothing is there arbitarily- and when you understand that, and understand what they are trying to focus you towards- then the emotions come.

So, there is no easy answer- but there is one- learn, study and come to understanding, and then the emotions will be there as you realise how great a relationship you have with God- regardless of how aware or unaware of it you are.

Answer 5

I'm Jewish too. I don't have a lot of brilliant comments to add to what's already been said (I wish I did!). However, one really useful thing to do would be to talk you your rabbi. Trust me--this will not be the first time he or she has heard this. You might also be surprised--I know of rabbis who have struggled with this question themselves. I think you'll get a very caring, thoughtful discussion which, while it might not bring the closeness you seek right away, might at least point you on a thoughtful path.

Answer 6

It seems like I'm the only Jew, so far, to address this question. :/

And boy, do I have a lot to say!

I have a hard time feeling the 'right' emotions during the High Holy Days. It's all too intense for me, and I tend to just 'numb over'. I know that's okay--because I have no real control over my feelings. Some days they sweep over me--and other times I can't dredge an emotion up for anything!

I DO have control over my actions, though, and I have to do what G-d wants, whether or not I 'feel' it. Just because I don't feel the right emotion, doesn't mean that a) I won't feel it sometime soon!, b) that I'm not pleasing G-d by my actions, regardless of whether I 'feel' the right thing or not.

Remember, too, that we're made holy through keeping the commandments--NOT through our feelings.

One of my rabbis tells a story about one of HIS rabbis, who was one of the great tzaddiks of his age. This rabbi had a year or more of feeling absolutely nothing during prayer or keeping any of the mitzvos. The rabbi continued to do as he should--he didn't neglect any of the prayers or mitzvos--and eventually the feelings returned. So this happens even to the greatest of tzaddiks! It's just necessary, sometimes, to perservere in spite of lack of emotion.

BUT

G-d wants us to have joy. We're to serve Him 'b'simcha'. And even more importantly---

He wants us to love Him. He commands us to do so, in fact--a command that we repeat at least twice a day. So while it's normal to have periods when you don't feel close to G-d, it's also good to open our hearts to Him.

I go through dry spells, too--in fact, I'm going through one right now--and what I do during those times is pray, and ask Hashem to bring my heart closer. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking--repeatedly, if necessary--for the feelings of closeness to come. I ask Hashem often to help me love Him more.

So just know that when you do the mitzvos--just because G-d wants you to do them--you ARE close to Him, whether you 'feel' it or not. But also remember that you're human, that it helps to feel that closeness, and that it's okay to ask G-d to provide those feelings. Don't give up: Remember that when we draw close to Him, He draws close to us.

This is a really great question, and answering it really reminded me of some things I need to remember right now!

Answer 7

How to get closer to a god?
You lower your standarts of critical thinking and allow anything to be made by god.
Suddenyl everything that happens is made by god and you're inveaded by this feeling that he's everywhere, including inside yourself.....
But don't forget that you've lowered your standarts to get these feelings....

Answer 8

Change the word God to the word LIFE. Then set out to discover the essence of the LIFE that you seem to possess. The story of the LIFE takes the view, yet the Life cannot be changed by the changing story.

Answer 9

Religion is not meant to get you close to god. It's meant to make you behave well. Don't ask questions and have faith (when no evidence exists) at all times. The only thing different between judiasm and other religions is that we don't want anyone joining us. That puts us in the minority and makes us hated by most

Answer 10

To me as a Christian at least - the feelings come and go.

But the faith remains constant.

I hope you find the same strength, comfort, peace and purpose in your own faith - after all, we both worship the same GOD!