I lost my faith a few months ago, then pressured by parents to go to Church... Anyone with similar experience?

Question

I have been an atheist/agnostic after opening my eyes and realising that I believe religion is just fantasy that I have been brought up to believe as fact.
I live away from home, but go home on weekends, usually on sunday afternoon to avoid confrontation with my parents over not going.

This week I came home on a saturday because I was working nearby. Sunday morning, my dad woke me up and told me to get ready for church. I said I wasn't going, and this lead to an hour long talk about why I dont believe anymore. Our conversation ended and we had missed most of the mass by that time but my dad asked me to go along just to say hello to my church friends which I agreed to. I went, said hello, then they reeled me into a bible study.

I sat through it, bored, then at the end everyone stood up to pray and I stood up out of respect. The leader asked me to pray for them. I was really pissed off, didnt want to make a scene, so said a few words. I feel really s**tty now that I wasnt being myself

Answer 1

I think you did the right thing. You showed respect to your parents in spite of your beliefs, and that's pretty sacrificial. You went above and beyond by continuing with a Bible study, even "saying a few words" and helping Christians along in their walk, even though you didn't believe. I think you've done far more than they would have ever done to support you.

And now on to the second phase of this, and a permanent solution to the problem -- that of setting some ground rules for the next time you visit your parents. If they set ultimatums, well, best make those decisions before you end up in that situation again.

Answer 2

Yeah, I had a similar type of experience. What worked for me was picking arguments at church over whether or not the religion was true. After I embarrassed my parents this way a couple of times by arguing with people from their church, they stopped wanting me to go with them.

Do a little studying about parts of the Bible that are especially screwy and other arguments against Christianity. There are a lot of them available on the web. Get the points down and you should be able to get a pretty good debate going that will really make your parents not want you ever to go to their church again.

Remember, the point here is not whether you can actually convince anyone at the church. It doesn't matter if you do or not. Your goal will be to make your parents horribly uncomfortable. This will be the most effective way of making them quit bothering you to go with them.

Another option would be to just tell your parents that if they keep pressuring you on this issue you are going to stop coming to their house.

Answer 3

I think your problem may be that you are going to the Catholic church that loves to tell lies. It dose not even admit to you that it was started in 305/6 A.D. When thirty men got together and twenty-nine agreed to start a new religion that would NOT obey all Jesus said for us to do. That is why when the printing press was invented a lot new religions were started; because they realized the truth was not being told/taught.
Jesus even says in Matthew 5:17-20 that he is not here to start a new religion; but to fix the Jewish one. And that was how it was at first. Peter was a New Jewish leader. They don't even hint at you that Jesus was a Rabbi.
The Catholic church has also removed lines from the Bible to get you to do as they want, not as the Bible says. EX. They removed the second Commandment that says in Exodus 20:4-6 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship; for I the Lord your God. am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who live me and keep my commandments.
In other words each time one prays to Mary or anyone else other than God; they are sinning very bad.
If you think about history. Think of the calendars we are useing. BC means "Before Christ". The A.D. is for after Christs birth. And these calendars have been around for most of the past 2000 years. If Jesus had not been real, how come so much of are lives are conected to God and Jesus? Even the calendars.
I have exsperanced miracles through out my life that science could not begin to exsplain. So I know God is real. I know Jesus is real. I know the Holy Ghost is real.
If you don't believe God is real, where did the first atom come from that split into two, into four, into eight,... into all there is now; including all the different types of atoms that have made all the beautyful forms of life we have today?

Answer 4

i don't blame you churches now are nothing but a meeting place and a money maker for the preachers that are living in huge houses driving 50.000 dollar cars while homeless people are sleeping in the streets. tell you're dad to step back and take a look at what the church does. lets go with a good example I'm in Virginia so lets use pat Robertson the 700 hundred club he has a huge church here lives like a king he flys medicine into Africa and flys diamonds back from there his church is only for the rich while people in Virginia beach are living homeless right at the door steps. also why do churches only care around Christmas and thanksgiveing ? what about the rest of the year ? why does the offering to the church go to fund a lavash lifestyle for the pastor or preacher or a bigger church ? im not religous at all like you i was forced to go to church. but ill tell you one thing if i had the money and the means to do i would help those that needed it and i wouldnt hide behing the church .

Answer 5

Well, I'll have to admit, I sort of feel that the whole Christianity has loopholes when it comes to the story. But my experience is sort of similar, Except for the fact that I haven't changed my religion yet. Yeah, I am usually forced to go to church every Sunday and to listen to the preacher and sermons, and it gets annoying. And it makes you wonder what will happen if Christianity was really a huge hoax made for people to believe the empty promises will one day get them to the promised place they desire.

Answer 6

A parent's job to "worry" about their children is never done. No matter how old you get, they will always have worries about you - even when they don't let you know about them. It appears to me, from what you have written, that your parents love you very much and are worried about the welfare of your soul. Are you referring to a Catholic Church? Is it church you lost faith in? The rituals? Or God Himself?

Is it that you are not sure you believe there is a God? Or that Jesus is real? They are both actuality, and actually very real. God is real. Jesus is real. The Heavenly Host is real. To understand this reality you probably have some missing facts according to what you have learned in life so far. Something doesn't jive with you, so you question. Is that it?

Almost everyone goes through this questioning when they have not yet found God in their life. It would appear that you have not found Him and neither have you found a relationship with Him. You can find Jesus and have a personal relationship with Him as well as having one with God, too. But to do that you must be born of the Spirit. The Spirit within you.

Right now, that probably makes you mad. It does a lot of people because it is so frustrating to you. If you ask anyone, anyone at all who has found God, Jesus or the experience of being born again of the Spirit, they will tell you what it was like before they came to know these great personalities. But be assured that if you do not know them right now, they know you and are patient. If you want to continue to seek the facts and the truth, you will most definitely find them. But you will need faith during this quest in order to discover the truth. Remain teachable and stay sharp.

I imagine if you tell your parents you won't give up the quest to find God - the truth in your life, they will back off a bit. And what would it really hurt to indulge them every so often and go to church?

I believe you do not have to go to church to find God in your heart and in your life. God is much more than who they say He is in the Bible; He is everywhere and so don't worry. He loves you. He will lead you if you will let Him.

At least, do not rule out the possibility of God; that is an error.

You might really enjoy reading this book which helps reconcile God and science, and questions people have that make it difficult to discern what are the facts and what is the truth?

Check it out:

There are divine laws, divine truths, even eternal values. Human beings have mixed their social mores and taboos with religions for all of human history. So, relgion contains much of both - human evolutionary social and cultural values as well as eternal truths and values. It continues even still.

The Early Evolution of Religion
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper86.html

The Ghost Cults
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper87.html

Fetishes, Charms and Magic
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper87.html

Sin, Sacrifice and Atonement
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper89.html

Shamanism, Medicine Men and Priests
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper90.html

The Evolution of Prayer
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper91.html

The Later Evolution of Religion
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper92.html

Religion in Human Experience
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper100.html

The Real Nature of Religion
http://mercy.urantia.org/papers/paper101.html

God is real, but many versions of "god" are no more than manifestations of man's imagination as it sought to explain certain phenomenon that was neither God nor of God. Check out the papers in the links above. It's too much to reprint here. Enjoy...

Answer 7

If that is the worst of your problems (feeling bad because you were polite in an awkward situation) you really don't have any problems.

You can't pin this one on organized religion. Once you made the choice to go (and it IS your choice; when I was a teen my parents pressured me plenty and I STILL refused to go to church), you could have refused to pray, but you didn't. If you had refused they would have asked someone else.

You're posing as a martyr because you're embarrassed? No one forced you to "endure" a trip to church.

Answer 8

my parents don't even know that i'm atheist...i've been atheist for about a year now.

at first it was hard playing along and praying when a) i felt it was wasting my time; b) i felt a natural rejection and anger towards religion at that point and wanted to voice my beliefs

but i didn't say anything...and now it feels like i'm living two lives and lying to myself. it's not a good feeling. on one hand i want to shout it out; on the other i don't wan'na ruin their trust, pride and the bond we share.

i don't think i'll be telling my parents though. it's my life and they have no reason to force me to do anything. they're my parents, yes, but it's not their business. i'll wait until i move out and it'll be ok.

edit: funny how there are a few answers here soley trying to convert you back...don't fall for it mate. i'm sure you won't though.

Answer 9

Well I'm glad to see you didn't make a scene out of respect for others. It's to bad that you have lost your faith though. I think your dad is just trying to tell you "nobody said it was going to be easy" and when you feel like the Lord has passed you by he's just testing your faith. Remember he is there at all times good and bad. GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS!!

Answer 10

This would be a good time to stand up for yourself. To ease your parents minds, you might tell them that this is where you are right now on religion, and you just don't know if things will change in the future.

One of the first steps in finding a path is stepping away from your parents beliefs and examining your own.

Good luck!