Im real paranoid about my boyfriend, not that hes cheating, but i hate the thought of him watching porn etc as we are apart alot due to work and uni. I also have trouble with self confidence i know that. Im really trying to keep my mouth shut and not question him anymore as i know that that ill just drive him away, and weve been together for five years. Its so difficult though! I hate to think that hes lying and theres a whole side of him that i dont know about when im not there! I know deep down that porn shouldnt really be an issue, though i just cant get it out of my head that he would do that if he loved me!
I really want to make our relationship as good as it can be, i never used to be this paranoid though i cant pin point whats made me this way.
Any advice that might make things better for me so i can get things back to what they were?
2007-09-30 02:55:24 · 8 answers · asked by SweetLikeHoney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh, I can empathise I am exactly the same. My husband told me off for being so paranoid recently and I have had to shut my mouth for a while. Difference is, we are together so I do know he isn't doing anything. In the end, its a matter of your lack of confidence. However, there are also people who are slightly untrustworthy in their manner (even when they aren't doing anything!) and they bring out the worst in people like us! I wonder if he just isn't making enough effort to make you feel secure? And why is it you are only worried about porn? Don't you wonder if he is with anyone else or is there a history of him enjoying porn? I think you do need to tell him how you feel but you also are doing the right thing by not asking him all the time. Its a conversation you need to have, not a barrage of accusations. What you really want is to be reassured and I don't think he is giving you satisfactory responses which is making things much, much worse for you. So, sit him down and tell him that he needs to give you just a little more in that way so that you can stop being such a pain by nagging or probing. This level of trust has to be a two way street. Good luck.
2007-09-30 03:44:26 · answer #1 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to keep your mouth shut to have a good relationship. If there is a whole other side to him,. you should cut your losses now and get out. Relationships should work both ways, not just one party doing whatever they want while the other party keeps his mouth shut. The worst thing that could happen for you would be to have someone you can't trust involved in your finances. Go find someone you can trust, someone who doesn't watch porn.
2007-09-30 03:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by Pamela V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably to do with the fact your apart a lot. It's all in the head it's your issue and you need to try and resolve it for your own mentality. Why don't you try talking to him maybe he can reassure you.? Maybe a little embarrassing I know but you best bet is to talk about it, keeping it all in your head will make your mind work over time and obviously that's not good. If he've given you no reason to doubt him then he'll probably be understanding when you tell him bout your insecurities. You obviously care a lot about him, but without constantly seeing each other your minds straying.
Try chatting 2 him
2007-09-30 06:00:22 · answer #3 · answered by kl240 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the majority of men watch porn even when there in a relationship, Theres no need to worry girl! It's not like hes gonna hook up with these porn stars is it ?
2007-09-30 03:06:34 · answer #4 · answered by harryarmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, labelling yourself “paranoid” for being apprehensive about your boyfriend’s addiction doesn’t seem very fair on yourself. Did he call you that? If, after being informed that his addiction is hurtful to you, he makes a point of letting you know that he’s still into it, he’s into hurting your feelings for the sake of some power trip or, perhaps, to cope with the lack of your time. You shouldn’t, however, be afraid of restating your point. If it drives him away, let it be. At least, you were true to him, as well as to yourself. And truth is the best way of improving, or at least sorting out a relationship. Good luck!
2007-09-30 03:18:36 · answer #5 · answered by doidabel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you loved him, you'd be talking to him and not strangers on the internet. Porn is not cheating, it's just a movie. It's no different than you swooning over your favorite actor.
2007-09-30 02:58:32 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.... i think you guys should talk about it and also see what he is into and ask him what he would like to try and if he would like to make a sex video with you ?? spice things up alittle bit he might just be getting bored or maybe wants to learn or see some new moves to try sooo... don't take it personal just take advantage of this hehe ;)
2007-09-30 03:08:04 · answer #7 · answered by Jeep1996 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You arent crazy but dating someone with a porn addiction is a problem- his not yours!
2007-09-30 02:58:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋