My boyfriend turns off his phone for days on end without telling me that he's going to do it, or make spur of the moment weekend trips without informing me or (worse) inviting me. Since Wednesday, he has been incommunicado (its Sunday night). I would have been fine if he'd just sent me an email or text saying "My cell phone will be switched off for the next few days, I need to get into my book/some space. Please don't worry." Six seconds of his life, vs. hours of mine lost in worry
I needed him today when I got stranded somewhere, and couldn't get in touch. Last night he sent me a paultry text (after three days of trying to get in touch) to say he was "all right". I wasn't alright today, when I needed him. I'm at my wits end with this behaviour. I find it so offensive: he thinks I overreact. My worry is that he knows how much it upsets me and does it anyway. I think I should walk, even though I love him. Would that be an emotional overreaction?
2007-09-30 02:35:48 · 15 answers · asked by TryingHard 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm always one to try and give the benefit of the doubt, so I think you need to figure out why he turns it off, and what he is doing on the weekend that you can't be included in.
Once you figure out the reasons, then address each part separately and see if you can come to a resolution that you are both ok with. Or dump him, if you need to. Depends on the reasons.
As far as the cell phone, I have 3 guesses at to what it could be that's going on:
1/ Financial- cell phone bills can get high in a hurry. If it is about money, I don't see why he can't leave it on & just screen his calls?!? Incoming calls usually don't cost anything. If someone texts him constantly, just block and unblock them as he sees fit. Does he have bill collectors calling or anything?
If he is even your friend, let alone boyfriend, he needs to be there when you really need him. Period.
2/ Could be depression- People that are depressed withdraw and isolate themselves, and that is definitely what he is doing. Depends on what he's doing on those weekends with the phone off... are you really sure he's going somewhere?
3/ Completely selfish- If he is just off with other girls, or maybe he's gay? well, you know what to do.
As far as going away for the weekend, unless it is to take care of Grandma and he has to give her 24/7 attention, that's crap.
I do see a bunch of red flags here, though.
He doesn't seem respect your feelings, or worry about anyone but himself. He is not concerned with making you happy. He minimizes your feelings.
Those are pretty huge, deal breaker kind of things to me.
If you break up with him he will either straighten up and become a better boyfriend (beg you to come back) , or just move on. And if he can move on that easily, you don't want him anyway.
Good luck, remember you don't have to make your decision overnight. take your time, and worry about whatever is best for you . take care, mary
2007-09-30 03:05:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mary K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy doesn't seem worth your time. He's obviously not telling you everything that's been going on with his life. If he's not being completely honest with you, than it's either time to have "the talk" or break it off with him. Also mention to him that you really needed him that one day he didn't have his phone on. Do you guys see each other often? If so, maybe that's why he thinks you are overreacting...but if you don't, than it could mean trouble and you are NOT overreacting. Tell him how you feel. If he's a good boyfriend he would at least try to listen to you and understand instead of pushing you away.
2007-09-30 02:40:43 · answer #2 · answered by peaches & love 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's made it obvious that he doesn't want to be relied upon. Therefor if you want to keep him, you're going to have to find other people who care enough to be supportive and stop expecting him to be there for you.
Once you have built up your support network, you'll probably realize that you don't need his crap any more and drop him, which is a good thing.
Or, you could skip right to the dumping part and get on with your life. Good Luck!
2007-09-30 03:02:07 · answer #3 · answered by aninocentangel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is with all the whiners today. This is a prime example there a normal good guy will ask "why do girls go for the bad boy type" because its true. Your so not going to leave him because you are into him and you, for some reason, like the extra drama. You can't say you don't or you would have bounce the second time he pulled that crap.
Thumps down is here------------------------>
2007-09-30 02:45:18 · answer #4 · answered by trueblueeyedguy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Okay I don't really get your problem but I know he might think he's suffocating and he need his space.
Well don't think of yourself just yet try to ask him what's the matter? ask him why did he off his cell phone. and then tell his you are really very worried and upset.
Communitcation is very important in the relatinship. Don't rush to end a relationship unknowning the reason why.
2007-09-30 02:42:24 · answer #5 · answered by freako03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him I need you. I love you but if you can't be here when I need you. then lets just break up and let be over with. because if you can't count on him. to be there when you need him. i'm wondering can you write me back? I don't know
I'm gonna go post a question. just the opposite of yours. she keeps me on the phone all the time day and night it drives me nuts.
2007-09-30 02:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by hifi1863 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would walk. Do you want to put up with his behavior for the years to come? Sounds like he is the kind of person that only wants you when he wants you.
2007-09-30 02:42:38 · answer #7 · answered by Rainwalker 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not think your overreacting you need to go because most likely it will not get any better.
2007-09-30 02:40:32 · answer #8 · answered by Cinderella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you might just leave him because no tell what he is doing he might be with another girl. and if he really care about you he would tell you what he is doing and he would leave his phone on just because if you needed anything.
2007-09-30 02:40:01 · answer #9 · answered by souljaboy4id 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah this has more to do with he has not respect for you, if my fiance did that kinda stuff id say bye bye baby cuz if you need him and he doesnt care then it isnt worth it
2007-09-30 02:39:48 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs T. 2009 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋