My friend has just found out that her dad isn't her biological father. Her mum had IVF or IUI. This was 13 years ago. Is there anyway she could trace him if she wanted to?
xxx
2007-09-29 20:42:15 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
your friends parents have gone to great lengths to have a baby & it must of been a very hard for them both to take this step & its ALOT of MONEY.
This man WHO is her father held her when she was born fed her changed her hugged her when she was upset/ill, must be gutted. The people who donate sperm are given a number & you will find it near enough impossible to trace.
I know as my friend has had two children this way, one now has a medical problem which isn't in her family & she needs but unable to trace the father as its a closed book.
Ask you friend to give her Dad Daddy Father a big hug & thank both of them taking the steps to have her, if they didn't she wouldn't be here now!
2007-09-29 21:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Tigger is the best! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is the man who is there to raise you,change your nappies, wipe your tears away when you cut your knee, to play with you, to cuddle you when you are upset, to take care of you, tuck you into bed and look after you when you're ill. He's the one who loves you and cares for you and is proud of you.
The person whose sperm fertilised your mother's egg is not automatically your "dad" if he does not do the above!
As far as finding out who her biological father is as far as I know the laws on IVF are that the sperm donor's identity stays anonymous, but I'm not 100% sure.
My little sister in law found out that her father wasn't her biological father (her mum had an affair). It was very upsetting for her as her parents didn't handle it well and the man who she called dad cut off all contact with her (her parents were divorced). However the man she calls dad now is her mother's husband and he is a real dad to her. It does not matter whether they are biologically related or not.
2007-09-30 07:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be very difficult to track that particular sperm donor, as most of them are done under anonymity to avoid such a thing. She should consider a few things before she even attempts to do this. Is it worth hurting her father when she says she wants to find her REAL dad? Perhaps the sperm donor doesn't want children in his life from that time period when he donated and wouldn't want to speak to her anyway?
She was produced in a different way, but that in no way makes the man that raised her not her father, she has loving parents and she should be happy for that.
2007-09-30 04:04:13 · answer #3 · answered by Zyggy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your friend should try and understand that her dad IS her dad and that for thirteen years he has loved her like a daughter. his and her mums choice to have treatment to have her as a child is no different to making babies the normal way in fact it is more difficult and so shows how much they really wanted you. searching for a donor can be soul destroying for both your friend and her family. If a donor gave her the gift of sight or a heart or a liver, then your friend would still be your friend and not the family of the donor. Your friend is the daughter of Mum and Dad. I would try to let it go if i were her.
2007-09-30 04:16:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should talk to her Mom. I would encourage you to tell your freind that there is a HUGE difference between a Dad, and a biological Father, especially in this case. SHe should not in anyway loose any respect for her Dad, because he is there by choice, and he will continue to be there regardless of any crap she throws on him. If anything, she should appreceate her Dad a heck of a lot more knowing this.
2007-09-30 10:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The ivf law has changed in the last 1/2 years and she may be able to find out some information.
I suggest she
1. finds out where the ivf took place
2. contact the clinic where the father left samples
3. Phone and ask to speak to a senior member of staff or write a letter explaining the details..
4. If you cant do that then either speak to your GP or speak to a local clinic that deal with IVF and see what they can suggest..
good luck
2007-09-30 03:48:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Liz is right
her biological father is a male that is a sperm donor and got paid for it, probably does not even remember the occasion, or the girlie mag he used to jerk off with.
2007-09-30 03:59:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
her father is the one who has brought her up for the past 13yrs he, who loves her and is there when she needs and wants him.
the other person is just a sperm donor i can understand that it was a shock to your friend but she should be grate full with who she has got coz she has got a lot more then other people have.
good luck to your friend :)
2007-10-03 12:13:21 · answer #8 · answered by curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i agree with liz how would the man that raised her feel if she started to look for the other guy she should be happy that she already has a dad
2007-09-30 04:43:44 · answer #9 · answered by joe k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
generaly no. She should be happy. She was very much wanted and loved. He may not be her bio dad but he is the one thats been there for her.
2007-09-30 03:59:46 · answer #10 · answered by Lolipop 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋