I'm more than 14 wks preg. and I still don't know what I will do?

Question

I thought I was about 8-10 weeks, but I went to planned parenthood yesterday and they told me I'm 14.5 wks preg already(no prenatal care)The problem is that deep inside of me I don't want to keep the baby because I don't have the guts to tell my family about it, especially my parents! Plus the father is not the best one either; he don't have a job, and eventhough he wants me to keep it, I don't trust on him helping me out with the baby if I decide to keep it. I don't believe in child support, adoption, or going to court for "custody", so those options are COMPLETELY out of the way..I'm just scared of continuing with the pregnancy and having an abortion. Plus I would have to miss a semester of school, and I don't how it would affect my job. I want to tell my mom that I'm preg. but I can't find the words and time. If I tell her, I will say that I will have an abortion just to test her...but still I'm very scared of EVERYTHING!!!, and I have only 4 weeks left to make my final decision.

Answer 1

Tell your parents. If you are afraid, talk to a trusted adult and have them help you tell your parents. I am not clear on "not believing in adoption". I know plenty of families who would love your child and it is a good option. You can even pick the baby's family. If you doubt the option of abortion, then don't. If you are scared, it is natural. Even in planned pregnancies, women are scared. Face the fact that you have made a baby. You have to deal with this. When I was around 14 weeks I could feel my baby fluttering in my stomach. Why don't you believe in child support? If the boy made the baby, he needs to pay to take care of the baby. I think you need to go to a therapist. Talking through the pros and cons with a professional will help. Good luck. If you do change your mind about the adoption thing, Catholic Children's Services is a good agency.

Answer 2

There is no way I could abort being that far along. But since you don't believe in anything else do it now before you are to far along.
And I would suggest not looking at how far along the fetus has developed.
I'm 12 weeks and amazed at all the baby can do right now.

I had my first child at 18 pregnant at 17, graduated high school, went to college had ehr during my first semester right before exams, the professors worked with me I'm sure your teachers would as well. Your job, well its protected under FMLA, they can't fire you b/c you are pregnant and have to let you ahve time off (some cases with pay) when the baby is born.

Question though why dont believe in child support or adoption stuff like that. B?c honestly if the father wants the child then he shoudl have the right to raise it.

Answer 3

Uh, if i was there at your house talking to you i would be yelling at you. Sorry if that sounded mean. But I just don't believe in abortion!!!! I think it is so so so awful! I mean you brought this child here, you should give it a life it deserves! Do you know how many ppl want to adopted a child in the US, there are so many so they have to go out of the US to adopt. I once heard a story and this girl was at a night club and gave birth to a baby in the restroom, nobody knew about it and do you know what she did to her baby put it in the garbage can! I can't remember if she killed it herself or just threw it away but that is so awful. And its not like your mom or family is going to love you any less! I just hope the best for you. And I hope that you'll keep your baby if you can support it or give it up for adoption because abortion shouldn't be an option. But please tell your family, let them help you make the decsion and its not about money. Do the right thing.... Another smart thing to do is don't sleep around and if you do take birth control and use a condom

Answer 4

You -need- to make the time. This is a very important decision in your life, and it sounds like you want guidance. You may be afraid, and nervous about what she is going to say, she may yell at you, you may yell back, but in the long run you'll feel better telling her.

Come to her and be honest with her. Tell her that you don't know what you are going to do, and you'd like to talk with her about it. If you trick her and say "I wanna have an abortion" just to test her reaction, that is a very immature thing to do, be as mature about the situation as you can, because this is SO important in your life, to both of you.

It's normal to be afraid during pregnancy, will you be a good mother, what happens during labour, the fear of the unknown is a huge motivating factor in life, but don't let that get you down. I won't lecture you in a huge pro-life/pro-choice debate, but do some research on the procedure and see what it entails for how far along you already are, don't make an uninformed decision that you might regret.

Answer 5

Women should make decisions about pregnancy; pregnancy should not make decisions about women!

Dear girl, you screwed up. There is no reason to involve your family in this mess. Have an abortion and be done with it. All children should be planned. Don't be afraid; it's very safe when done by a licensed practitioner.
If you use an IUD, btw, you are "aborting" every time it works. IUDs don't keep conception from taking place, they keep implantation from occurring. The huge "moral dilemma" you face is overblown by the religious right to manipulate and subjugate women, especially vulnerable young ones like you.
In the future, use better contraception. Consider Norplant, which makes it so you don't have to think about birth control except once ever 5 years! If you do have unprotected sex, call the doc the next morning and get the "morning after pill." THINK, girl!

Answer 6

Maybe your mother should have aborted you, that way you would not have to make any of lifes hard decisions. There is life growing inside of you that does not deserve to have a scared little girl for a mother. Do the right thing and put the child up for adoption.

Answer 7

Time to woman up you made your bed now lie in it. This baby is here now deal with it. You have to tell your mother. She woman uped and kept you right. So I believe that even though she might be a little pissed, dissapointed whatever you think she might be she is still your mother and will love and help you though this situation. You are going to struggle and may even have to put somebody elses needs before your own however you knew of this possiblity before when you had sex right. So now is decision time. Make the right one and give that baby your baby a chance to be rasied right with the values and beliefs and love only you can give it. No it wont be easy nobody ever said raising a child is but it is the best job in the world. Good luck to you and your baby.

Answer 8

You are responsible now for the life of another living human being. Please respect its right to live. I think you need to decide what options are best for you and the baby - 1. stay with a dad you are not happy about, 2. raise it as a single mom, 3, allow it to be raised by your parents or a relation, or 4, put it up for adoption. Then go to a legal advice centre and find out your rights. Then speak to your parents, but if they react badly dont let them bully you into a decision you will regret. But hopefully speaking to them will help with your final decision and they will offer you support.

Answer 9

I had bleeding when I was 3 months pregnant with my last baby, it was a lot of blood not just spotting. I went to the ER right away and I was told that the baby was fine and to go see the Dr. in the morning. I went to the Dr. and she gave me another ultrasound and found that there was a scar on my uterus that had opened and started bleeding. I bled at 6 months again and it was the same issue. The baby is fine and she turned 2 years old on Monday. I am now prego with number 4 and had no bleeding with this one at all, she is growing well. If it gets worse I would go to the ER or to your Dr. Good luck!

Answer 10

If you want to have an abortion because you don't want to tell your parents I suggest you to think again.
Give up the guts to tell your mother. She might be angry at first but she is indeed your mother and you never know. You might end up with a healthy baby that will change your life for the good.
Your baby is developing right now. Just think very logically about it.