What would you do if you were me?

Question

i think something is wrong with me i hate asking people for help. And am scared of getting my heart broken people think that am this though girl who is not scared of anything but that is not true i hide my emotion behind my pretty smile i know some people like me but i want to see what would life be like if i was to die the next day. how would i be remembered. i am 17 and never been in love never had a boyfriend i have had a lot of crush but i never act upon it because am afraid of reject .2 years ago i tried to commite suicide by drinking shampoo and taking any and ever pills that i found around my house. my mother told me one day that she wish that i was never born i brush it off but she reopen a wound and she cut me deep. i cry everday i hate crying in front of people because i dont want to be seen as this vulnerable girl. i feel like life has never gone my way my mom has a funny way of showing how much she loves me my father hates me and we haven't spoken in years. HELP ME!!!!!!

Answer 1

Sometimes you need to be vulnerable. With a past like yours, you want to put up that tough exterior so you dont get hurt but you arent fooling anyone. Those words would hurt anyone. Do you go to a church? If not then I would suggest that you find one and get some counseling from a pastor. They are more understanding and dont do it just for the big paycheck. If you have never accepted Jesus Christ into your heart, you should do that. I have been hurt a lot in my life and I have been completely changed by the grace of God. You just talk to Jesus like he is your friend right there next to you and tell him you believe he died for your sins and you want Him to come into your heart and you want him to take your pain away. Not only will you be saved, He can start to heal you. Just believe He will. I am so sorry these important people in your life have treated you this way. I hope you know you are a person worthy of love and respect. Suicide is never the answer. All that will get you is a one way ticket to hell and your loved ones will blame themselves. You have to know you didnt deserve any of this and it is not your fault. All you can do is give your burdens to Jesus, know you dont dont deserve this, and talk to a pastor. The pastor can be the un-biased person who you can be vulnerable in front of without being judged and you wont feel weak in front of him. One day you may have kids and your trials will be a reminder of what you dont want for them and you will be able to show them the love and acceptance you didnt get. That is what my husband went through his whole life and now he has a strong relationship with God and is an amazing daddy because he knows what he doesnt want for his babies. Please dont do anything else to hurt yourself. Dont let Satan win this one!!! You are better than that and you can overcome this with grace and be a better person in the end. I sure hope I have helped you out. I will be praying for you :) Good Luck and God Bless :)

Answer 2

I Hope that I can be of some help. You are young and have a lot of potential. Don't worry about having a boyfriend until you can really appreciate yourself. Try to see the positive things about yourself. Find something to be really interested in and get creative. Make yourself the best you can be, I suggest that you try to find a youth group to spend time with. Make yourself useful. You will find that by helping others you will find joy in life. Seek out an older woman to be a kind of grandmother to you. Please don't attempt taking your own life. I know that life can be difficult, especially in the emotion department, but here is light at the end of the tunnel. God bless.

Answer 3

id say the first thing you need to do is to separate from all of the negativity in your life. so id say stay with a grandparent or uncle that actually likes to have you around. if not a family memeber then a friend or someone who can lend out a hand. then id say to grab a piece of paper and write all the things that you dont like about life & write down things that you would like to do/try or find interesting. im sure theres bound to be a few those around lying in your head. then id say to go out a try a few of these things and when you do, you open up a whole new world with more/greater opportunities. you just have to give life a chance and it will shower you with great benefits. sure there are going to be a few hardships along the way but we all have em. trust me we all do. then once you surround yourself with a different environment then you are bound to meet new friends. if not then heres my email:

[e-mail]

gl & dont give up just yet. :)

Answer 4

first of all let me tell you that u are special God don't make mistakes that even when your father and mother forsake u he will not leave you. It is so easy to put up a front and pretend like nothing is the matter but there must be someone you can trust at least one person i had a p.e. teacher when i was your age she use to take me to suicide annoneymus meeting i use to talk my feeling out with others who felt the same way, and at least we all had something in common. seek help for yourself you would be surprised.PRAY, ask the lord to give you strenghth.

Answer 5

wow this sounds very familiar to my life. im only 15 though btw. my parents tell me everyday how worthless i am and that if they wouldn't be legally liable they would get rid of me. i cry a lot and i hate it. i haven't tried to commit suicide yet because i have really close friends and anti depressents (magic happiness in a bottle, that suff is amazing, i used to see a shrink and he prescibed them to me). i haven't dated a girl for more than three months. im willing to bet though that life gets better 4 both of us. we still have 60 years to go b4 we'll probably die (bright side of things lol) so something good must happen eventually. i mean statistically there is no chance 60 years will go by and w'll have nothing to show for it. my email is [e-mail]. if u ever want to talk etc. let me noe. everyone needs support.

Answer 6

try talking to people. i know its hard but once you start talking to people it gets easer. guys are the same way as you are affraid of rejection getting their heart broke. its all apart of life. im sorry about how your family is i have had 2 friends in the same situation. i dont know how it is but ikind of understand. try finding a job if you dont have one already and save your money and find a friend you can share a place with. good luck and i hope you find what your looking for in this world. your pretty smile will help you find that right guy.

Answer 7

OMG......In the relationship situation, you're kind of like me. I'm pretty afraid of getting rejected, so I never do anything. I think with the guys that you think like you, just take a chance. Sometimes, things don't work well, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't just give up. Good luck! Your life sounds really complicated...I hope it gets better!!!!

Answer 8

there is nothing wrong with you. I am sad that you feel so bad and you are so young yet. have you got anyone you can talk to that you really like and trust, an older friend or relative? do you really like any of your teachers at school?
you will feel better soon if you can find someone to tell your worries to, and they will help you see that you are a good person its just that you are not in good circumstantces

Answer 9

Well girly i know how you feel.I tryed the same thing with taking every pill in my house.And i get told i wish you were never born everyday.But i just go on living for jesus i wasnt put on earth to be liked but for god.I dont know if you are a christian but im sure there is one person who cares about you alot like me thats how i keep on going bc i know there is this one person who cares bout me and tell me he does everyday and when i thik no one cares i just think bout him.I know this may sound like lame advice but hey im just trying to help you ok.
♥Kal♥

Answer 10

WELL TO TELL THE TRUTH, I FEEL YOU. I AM GOING THROUGH THE PROCESS OF A NEW ME AND JUST STARTED A FEW EEKS AGO. I WANTED 2 COMMIT SUICIDE BUT WAS AFRAID TO SLIT MY WRIST. I FELT LIKE NO ONE REALLY LOVED ME AND I HAD NO ONE. I AM SHY BUT I LOVE BOYS. I TALK TO THEM BUT THE RELATIONSHIPS I HAD WERE NOT SPECIAL. BUT MY LAST ONE WAS THE FIRST AND LAST TIME I WAS IN LOVE. AND HEBROKE MY HEART.ITZ HARD FOR ME TO TRUST PEOPLE AND I ALWAYS GIVE PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THEY WILL DO ME WRONG. BUT WHAT YOU NEED TO DO IS LOVE YOURSELF AND SAY **** EVEYONE. IF YOUR MOM ACTS LIKE SHE HATES YOU, THEN JUST DEAL WITH IT `AND SAY IN YOUR MIND OH WELL. YOU CANT STRESS OUT OVER IT BECAUSE THEN THAT WILL HOLD YOU BACK MA.