I am 20 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months. We just recently had sex for the first time. He has had sex before, but it was my first time. I love my boyfiend but my mom doesn't understand. How do I tell her I am no longer a virgin without her thinking less of me?
2007-09-29 18:26:33 · 21 answers · asked by Elizabeth 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I always thought I could tell my mom anything. I just feel sad that I am not able to talk to her about it.
2007-09-29 18:34:43 · update #1
You don't. It's none of your parents' business that you had sex.
2007-09-29 18:28:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there any reason that you have to tell her? You're 20, does she need to know that extremely personal detail of your life?
If she asks you, you can choose whether to discuss it with her. Other than that, just don't bring it up with her.
Clearly you've made a choice to have sex before marriage. I don't think that there's anything wrong with that (as long as you were using protection) but your mom might. If she does, it'll be a MAJOR issue between you two if you tell her.
Look, the "deed is done" and you can't "undo" it so why make it an issue between you and your mom?
Last, you're 20 and I know that your mom has been a major source of advice, guidance and support for you for your whole life. However, you're now in adulthood and you have to begin to live your life without her deep involvement. This could be a good way for you to start doing that.
2007-09-30 01:35:38 · answer #2 · answered by lupin_1375 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly you don't have to tell your parents.
I mean, you don't have to make an announcement. Rather it is better to be more subtle. Give a few clues and let your parents work it out for themselves.
You see maybe you are from a culture that says sex before mariage is bad. In fact, in all those cultures people still have sex before marriage. Soooo..........your parents have brought you up in a way to associate sex with love and marriage.
Once you have had sex, your parents are not going to mind too much, rather they will understand. It is likely your parents did the same thing when they were young too.
2007-09-30 01:36:40 · answer #3 · answered by flingebunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to tell her something like that? I'd never mention something like that to my mom. The only reason she knows I'm not a virgin is because I had the unfortunate experience of having my parents walk in on me when I was having sex.
2007-10-02 15:25:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I don't see why they need to know. Unless you yourself really want to tell them, don't. It's not like you're a child, or have some reason for needing to. I feel as though having sex with someone is your business, not theirs.
2007-09-30 01:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by ... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first off, she is your mother there is no reason for her to think less of you. My mom told me that when i had to tell her something and was afraid to write it down and put it in her purse, just a suggestion, but it might work for you.
2007-09-30 01:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Nissy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i never told my mum when i lost mine. she ended up figuring it out and she's never spoken down at me or thought bad of me for having lost it before marrriage or anything. my mum hated the guy i lost it to, and she doesnt know it was him and i dont ever want her to find out, so if she hates him dont lie but dont be honest about who it was with. but your 20, you've done well to hold it off and be one of the smarter girls. if i was your mum the only part id be upset about was having been with him for 4 months before handing him such a big part of your life. but if you realy want your mum to know i wouldnt say anything just yet, wait and see how serious this gets with that boy. if it gets serious and she's met him, in time she will reaslise with out you having to say a word. saves you the embarrassment and the worry. but if you want her to know right now, i guess the only way to tell her is to sit her down and tell her that you finally made the decision to become a woman. she may get angry, but she'll be ok in time. guess it just depends on what your mother is like..
you'll be alright, good luck..
2007-09-30 01:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by Malibu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you mean "WHY do you tell your parent(s) that you are not a virgin anymore?"?? Your sexual life is your business and your business only, especially at age 20.
2007-09-30 01:32:58 · answer #8 · answered by M2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well atleast ur not a fourteen year old who lost her virginity ha. but dont worry ur mom wont think less of you...unless she truly truly hates that guy. but just be like " mom i have something to tell you" and tell her. but tell her when she's in a good mood
2007-09-30 01:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't really have to tell your parents that and I don't think they want to know that either. It's just something that you have to keep it to yourself.
Take care and be safe!
2007-09-30 01:50:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋