I recently returned to work as an assistant supervisor of a group home for 5 MR men, after a 3 year hiatus caring for my parents. I've been on the job 45 days and have found much of the staff to be dishonest.
This evening my boss, informed me that she has a "crush" on me. This came out of left field, as I'm 10 years older, professional and not particularly inclined to go out with my boss, who is also 385# and has a 7 year old daughter. I'm also gay-100% gay, but not fem. I only want to do my job and enjoy my health insurance, something I did without those 3 years.
I was flabberghasted, but handled it well, and just as I started to describe myself as a kind of "loner," so help me, one of the toilets overflowed, requiring immediate attention, etc.
I know it's sexist to go by the adage "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," but since I know that she is a gossip and very co-dependent with her other employees (frankly bad boundaries), I am getting a bad feeling. Any advice
2007-09-29 16:19:12 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment ➔ Other - Careers & Employment
*Edit 1*
I just want you to know that I didn't give "thumbs down" to any of the first 6 answers-that was somebody else's doing.
2007-09-30 00:37:35 · update #1
*Edit 2*
s742_2000:Since I know that raises and rapid promotions are out-of-the question in a medicaid outfit, "boinking the boss" ain't gonna git it! I really don't want her to be hurt, although, the truth is, she married a 18 y.o. man when she was 36 y.o.,-the father of her daughter-who promptly (as per her) whipped up on her and at one point kicked her in the face before spitting on her. There's NO WAY she's not carrying the baggage from that experience and I'M not going to be the one she avenges herself againsts men with. Secondly, at the ripe old age of 53, not only am I FINALLY a human being that doesn't think with his penis, I know enough to know that "office romances" are disasterous to both parties 99% of the time, because it's nothing more than "getting laid" with all the disappointment and boredom that comes from a meaningless "one night stand." That could only poison the workplace. It's very difficult for me not to see it as a trap, economically and emotionally.
2007-09-30 00:49:18 · update #2
Fortunately, your flush beat her two of a kind and gave you time to reflect on the situation. Even though you did not end the conversation, she may consider this a form of rejection. That is, unless you do something to make her think otherwise. Be very deliberate in your actions and words.
If she does bring it up again, just say: " I enjoy being part of your team (Try to avoid the word "like") and wouldn't want anything to influence our dedication to the patients." This is not necessarily a bad thing and could be the touchstone of your professional relationship.
If it doesn't make her feel foolish, you shouldn't have anything to be concerned about. Just be understanding. Good Luck.
2007-09-29 19:51:24 · answer #1 · answered by look at yourself 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If this is part of a larger company, you can complain to HR that you are in a hostile environment. Your own sexual preferance means nothing and is irrelevant.
if this is a small company and she's the owner, then you will have a tough time of it, since she can fire you and you will have a hard time getting your job back.
If she talks to you like that again - try to get a co-worker to hear it, and clearly state that it makes you feel like you are in a hostile environment. She may become afraid to mess with you if she fears for her own job and then leave you alone.
Tough road no matter which you go down.
2007-09-29 16:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh boy - this sounds like a hairy situation and one that needs to be approached carefully.
Perhaps you could tell her that you are already seeing someone? Or if she seems bitter about being rejected, then I hate to say it but - you might have to find another job!
Good luck.
2007-09-29 16:30:49 · answer #3 · answered by jeristhin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In most companies it is aganist company policy for the boss to date an employee. You both could be fired. Maybe you need to remind her of that. Smile....
2007-09-30 02:56:58 · answer #4 · answered by Spirit Dancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Thanks for the compliment ,
But I'm already involved with someone ."
You do NOT have to discuss details of your life outside of work .
Indicating you are not available should be sufficient .
Your actual relationship status is irrelevant .
The above statement indicates you are NOT available ,
And politely , lets the other person off the hook .
( there is no rejection involved )
>
2007-09-29 16:33:40 · answer #5 · answered by kate 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bend her over and knock it out, afterwards ask for a raise and a promotion
2007-09-29 19:22:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go for it if you screw the boss you will not get fired
2007-09-29 16:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by texasman75147 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋