my mother-in-law has laid a guilt trip on us. Discreetly, but she was not very nice about it. She said well are you guys going to come visit us for Christmas because you didn't spend time with us last year. Oh, by the way we were there for Thanksgiving. (I guess that doesn't count). Anyway, my family lives in TN and we live in PA so of course I'm gonna want to see them as much as possible. Financially it makes sense for us to stay here but this guilt is ridiculous.
Please help...I don't want to spend both holidays at her house.
2007-09-29 16:09:47 · 7 answers · asked by Lizzy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Thanks lala, maybe you should be put in my shoes.
2007-09-29 16:58:20 · update #1
She just wants you there. Your husband needs to be the bearer of the news. Decide what you guys are going to do and make him break the news to his family.
We switch Thanksgiving and Christmas between our families. Last year we did Thanksgiving at the in-laws and Christmas with my family and this year we'll switch. It works pretty well for us.
I will tell you that it would bother my mom if we didn't ever have a Christmas with them (and she is easy to please type). It seems like a bigger holiday than Thanksgiving. That may be how your MIL in feeling.
2007-09-30 06:38:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is really no choice for you but to spend each holiday with one or the other of your parents. Just be as kind as possible to your mother in law and explain that your parents want you and your husband around as much as she does. This year you could spend Thanksgiving with your parents and Christmas with your in laws. One year you could have the holidays at your house and the families can come to you. Just continue rotating the holidays and eventually your mother in law will stop laying a guilt trip on you, she just needs time to get use to sharing her son.
2007-09-30 00:52:06 · answer #2 · answered by Granny in KS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain that as though it is a holiday, you're able to see them alot more often and going home is something you wish you could do more, and the holidays are a great time to have time off work and hopefully get everyone together. I cant imagine being in your shoes.... Best of Luck to ya on this...
2007-09-29 23:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by marcie1997 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UGH! I hear ya! DO NOT spend both holidays there! Tell her that she just needs to understand that you can't NOT be with your family at Christmas.
2007-09-29 23:17:09 · answer #4 · answered by misskenjr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mayb you should rotate... see her for thanksgiving and your family for christmas and then the next year see her for xmas an your family for thanksgiving... or you could just say were havins xmas at our house this year and invite every1 that way no1 feels negleted and no1 can say you didnt spend
(the holidays) with them...
2007-09-30 00:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by angelz@princess265 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put the Monkey on her back. Ask her witch of the two holidays would she prefer you to be there, you can't be there for both.
2007-09-29 23:24:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your mother inlaw is very lonely and mised your presense DONT YOU GET THAT /You are a very selfish person and one you will pay a very high price because WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND
2007-09-29 23:31:12 · answer #7 · answered by lala 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋