Baby Question? 10 points for the best advice. Thank you?

Question

I am baby sitting my friend's two years old daughter for an hour. She is adorable, but I do not want to have a baby.

I very much love babies. They are adorable and cute. However, I am scared of giving birth. I do not want to run after them. I do not want to change diapers. I do want to hear babies cry.

I am 22 years old. Am I normal? Will I change my perspective about giving birth and babies? Have you ever feel like this before?

Thank you very much for your advice.

Answer 1

Yes, this is probably just a phase. When I was like 21 or 22, I can remember saying that I never wanted to have kids. Granted, I was in college and looking for a job. When I met my husband, we talked about it and said kids wouldn't be in the near future. Well, what you say isn't always what you get!!!
We got married in August and by December I was pregnant with twins. Now I am pregnant with another set of twins. And remember, I said I never wanted kids, I have two and two on the way!!! This may not help your feelings, but it will change. Maybe you could talk your friend into letting her sleepover your house for the night, then you could see what it is like to be a "mom" to the little girl. If you want to talk more personally, you can e-mail me through my profile. Good luck babysitting and with you future.

Answer 2

I Always Loved Kids! Always!! From The Time I Was A Teenager! I Always Dreamed Of Getting Pregnant And When I Finally Did Get Pregnant I Was Ecstatic!! About A Month Into My Pregnancy I Had A Mental Breakdown And Started Crying And Was Really Upset! My Husband Walked In To The Room And Saw Me Crying And Wanted To Know What Was Wrong. I Was Having The Same Fears And Doubts You Have Now! I Was Scared To Death To go Through Labor And Just Scared That I Would Not Make A Good Mommy But My Husband Sat Me Down And Comforted Me And Now I'm Totally Happy And Cant Wait For My Baby To Get Here Its Normal!

Answer 3

You're in the stage of "That baby's cute...as long as it goes home with them."

I've always loved kids. (I'm a teacher now w/2 degrees) I did a lot of babysitting/nannying in my teens and through college and as cute as they were, after a while it was like "Ok, enough is enough. Where's Mom?" When the child isn't yours, you view them differently.
I was married at your age now and had my first right before my 25th birthday. When I found out I was pregnant I was still in the "Cute as long as it's not mine" stage. But when that little boy was born and I got to bring him home, feed him, take care of him etc, it was a completely different feeling. Sure, hearing a baby cry isn't a lovely musical sound when you become a mother, but the annoyance of it is replaced with concern and a want to help/fix.
I am now almost 35 years old, married with 4 kids (ages 9, 7, 3 and 7 weeks) and they certainly are a handful but a welcoming fun loving handful at that. Chances are, your perspectivies will change down the road when you're a little older. If not, that's perfectly fine as well. The point of change is different for lots of people. Whether it be when you get married, buy a house, have a steady job, one of your friends has a baby etc, you're opinion on babies will go from "Oh, cute" to "Hmm, I want one of those." Sometimes people just simply don't want to have kids or don't want to deal with the baby stage. I see no problem with this.
I still though to this day look at other people's kids different than my own. Another person's baby screaming gets to me but hearing my own cry doesn't have the same effect. Have no worries :)
Best Wishes =]

Answer 4

Maybe you'll change your mind, and maybe you won't. Not everyone is cut out for motherhood. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Think about how overpopulated the world would be if EVERY woman became a mother!
I think it's great that you recognize that you might not be right as a mother. So many women find that out AFTER having a baby, which they did because they had fairytales of a cute little baby. Then they woke up and realized there's a lot more to it than that!
Keep babysitting if you want, with the thought in mind that they don't stay cute little babies forever. As a mother, I love my three - year - old with all my heart, and will continue to love him no matter what. That's the unconditional love mothers have for their children. But if you'd rather babysit than have one of your own, don't worry about it! I'm sure your friends with kids love having the break for a few hours, and you're getting the amount of kid time that's right for you.

Answer 5

I absolutely always loved babies. I took care of babies for a living for 12 years. Even with all this love for babies I knew I wasn't ready to have a baby in my twenties. I didn't want the responsibility and the worries and the devotion it takes. However, I knew I wanted a baby some day. I think you are absolutely very young and there is nothing rushing you and you may very well decide some day that you do want a baby or you may want to not have one. But, I truly think you don't need to concern yourself with how you feel about it now. I was 34 when I gave birth and it was wonderful to become a mother. You have loads of time. Enjoy being child free and single while you are and let yourself have plenty of freedom to consider how you feel as time goes on.

Answer 6

At your age how you feel is normal and yes chances are when you get older you will change your mind, it may not be until you are pregnant or even after giving birth lol but you will most likely change your mind. I love babies and always wanted one but I was still scared about giving birth and not knowing how to care for my own baby 24/7. I am now a mom of 2 and wouldn't change anything. I would love to have another baby.

Answer 7

Not everyone wants kids, and some dont want them at this young age that you are, and want to wait until they have done everything they wanted to.

Look at Halle barry..she is 41 and is just going to have a baby now.

Your opinion might change depending on the environment that you put yourself around.

If you always experience bad things, you will not change your mind and will be scared.

But if you start becoming open minded then you opinion might change.

I know a lady thats like 50 or something, and she has never had kids (no abortion, miscarrige nothing like that)
Just her choice never to have kids, and she is fine with that.

Everyone is different and have different perspective in life.
And your opinion might change or it might not, but either way, it will be normal.

I know a married couple that dont want to have the responsability to have kids..because they love to travel, and having kids will mean they will have to stop for a while, and when they travel again, they might have to take the kids with them, and it will be more expensive.

Your lifestyle will change, and that will also have an effect on how your opion about this changes.

Me im 18 my boyfriend is 20 we live on our own and have a 13 month old son.
It has been hard, but being a parent is not easy no matter what age you are, but we both enjoy every minute of it, he brings us laughter just by watching learn things, like dancing, and trying to talk, and copying what me or my boyfriend do.
I wish to have more kids, but in time, but not that far apart because i want my son to be able to relate to his siblings.

Thats my story.

Everyone is different. If you want your perpective to change, start getting information about the whole parenthood deal, and you will either get excited, or it will give you more reason to think the way you are.

But wether your normal or not...ofcourse you are.

Answer 8

I don't think any woman thinks 'gosh, i want to give birth, or I can't wait to change that poopy diaper".... Those are the chores that go along with all the joys that you get from raising a child. There are tons of things that I don't like to do, when it comes to my children, but there are millions of things that I love... and ways that they reward me for my hard work. The sweetest thing is when your little baby smiles, or laughs at you for the first time... they way they only want you, when they are upset, or tired. it's an unconditional love, something so amazing, it's really hard to describe.... you will never know, unless you go there.... I think it is one of life's greatest miracles... being a mom is the hardest, but most rewarding job on the planet.

I felt just like you for a long time... I never liked anybody else's kids even.... crying made my skin crawl.... then one day I got pregnant... and everything changed. When it is your baby, everything they do is adorable, and you fall completely, madly in love with them.

Answer 9

I believe you need to find a family that catches your eye because they do things differently and you just get that gut feeling that "this is the way it is supposed to be". For me, that was it. I liked children, but I didn't want to have to have the fussy, snotty nosed, smartypants type kids I saw everytime I went to WalMart. I began attending a church when I was 21 and saw families there whose children did not act like that. They shared with me how they had taught them to behave the way they did. I saw little ones who were happy and respectful. I saw teens who liked their own parents and thought their ideas were good, instead of running to anyone other than them for advice. I was impressed. Then I wanted a family like theirs. I did want to be a mom before that, I just wasn't looking forward to it so much. Now I want a dozen or so little ones, and I'm doing pretty good so far!

Childbirth itself won't be so scary when you actually get there. Just be sure to read everything beforehand. Just don't think you have forever and wait into your 30's to ever have any. Statistically, fertility takes a nose dive after 30. That is why so many people end up with fertility problems. They wait too long to start. Your best years are in your 20's and when you are married.

Answer 10

Not everyone needs to or wants to have a baby. If you really truly think that you want a baby and you'll sacrifice changing diapers, keeping up with them, and all that trouble of parenting, then yes, you should try and get pregnant if you really do believe that you could and want to take care of a baby.

However, if you really don't, you probably just want to live your life before getting constricted by the responsibilities of parent hood. That's alright. You don't have to have a baby just yet, wait until your ready, or if that never comes, what can I say?