my 12 year old said that if i ground her 1 more time she would run away????

Question

what should i do

spank her once to show her grounding is not the worst.

or what would u say

when i said spank her i mean the next time she is bad

Answer 1

She is acting like a child, so treat her like one. Spank her, watch her really carefully (keep her bedroom door open). Just make her feel like she has no privacy. Then let her earn everything back.

Answer 2

First, examine whether or not you are grounding her too much or for too long. If not (I'm sort of assuming that that's not the case), no don't spank her. To a 12 year old...I'm not too sure that spanking would really be a worse punishment.

You don't want her to run away, I understand, but you can't let her threaten you and your parenting. Kids do need some freedom and control, but not over the parent.

I know when I was that age, I felt like I would be grounded randomly for minor things. As an adult, I still feel it was wrong. I think you can avoid it. Sit down with her and come up with a list of misbehaviors that deserve grounding and for how long. For example write 'leaving the house without permission--1 week grounding beginning the following day'. List all the behaviors that the two of you think deserve grounding and for how long. Decide whether or not she will still be allowed to carry out previously made plans (that you were already aware of) if she's grounded and stick to it. Once you two have the list made, she will effectively be grounding herself if she does the behaviors on the list. But reserve the right to use other forms of discipline at any time for minor misbehaviors that aren't on the list.

For things that aren't on the list (but still not proper behavior) resort to taking away certain priviledges. Let's say 'talking back' isn't on the grounding list. She talks back, then say something like 'No TV for the next two days' or whatever you feel is appropriate.

I feel like this would work pretty well. If she doesn't agree to it, and still threatens to run away...I really liked the idea that the answerer had about calling the cops and taking her for a tour of 'juvie' to see what it's like. In my opinion, she is calling your bluff. I tend to be pretty lienient on discipline in general, but I really feel like you need to win this one. Personally, I doubt she would actually run away. But you know her, and if you think so, then take it seriously but don't back down. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi
Well I was a kid not too long ago and I know what it feels like to be grounded and spanked. I did like it, and i kinda hated my parents for it. Well what you can do is have a good talk to her about how you love her and want the best for her and how you punish her because you love her. However, cut down on the corny stuff coz kids dont take people who say corny and cheesy stuff seriously. Oh, and while you are talking, make sure there are no distractions, like TV or toys, and make sure you are alone. Maybe you ground her too often, for too long. Well try to shorten the time a little, and after she finishes her time, do something to show her you still love her.

Answer 4

First of all, never spank a child. It's not going to solve any problems. Chances are, she will be even more angry than she is now, and she'll call the police on you for abusing her (or she'll really run away).

I think the best solution is to sit down with your kid and have a talk. Ask yourself if you are grounding her for legitimate reasons. Try explaining to her that you love her, and you are only looking out for her best interests. If she is behaving badly, maybe it's because she is mad about something that is going on her life that you don't know about. Reach out to her and let her know that she can talk to you about anything.

Answer 5

First thing, you arent even saying why she is getting grounded ... she could be doing something that is a ridiculous reason to be grounded for. As far as her saying she will run away, most teens say that, she is at that age where she wants to be the boss, she figures if she threatens you she wont be grounded anymore, well when I told my mom I was running away she gave me a suitcase, and said she would take me where ever I wanted to go, obviously I was shocked by that and never even took the suitcase to my room, kids need to learn at an early age who is the boss, they should not have control over you, thats why we have so many kids on the streets in gangs and doing drugs, because their parents didnt care or think twice about what was going to happen to their child.

Answer 6

If she deserves to be grounded then ground her. Children will sometimes make treats to scare you. Do not give in. If you do she will have the control and she will threaten you every time that she does not get her way. I would continue to ground her if she does not listen and if she does run away let her pay the consequences. Do not bail her out. Report her as a runaway and let her go to the detention center. You can do it. Children need tough love sometimes and she will be a better person for it in the long run. Good luck.

Answer 7

well i would do what my mom did to my sister. tell her you will ground her if she deserves it because you are trying to teach her a lesson , and obviosuly if you still have to ground her she isnt learning the lesson . when she can learn and stop getting in trouble and stop acting like a little kid you will stop treating her like one. most at age 12 act like they need to be adults now and that adults dont give them any freedom blah blah blah. i am 21 and i leaned alot just from my sisters mistakes. so yes my sister did end up running away. my mom said well go ahead makes no difference to me. you wana go , go. when you get picked up by a rapist or killer then you cant blame me for it. as soon as my sister took off. right infront of my moms face, my mom waited a bit then called the police and gave them the situation. she told them when you find her to take her to a childrens shelter for troubled teens and leave her there. we found out the next day she had been picked up by a former child molester who was registered. but the person i guess had leaned their lesson and was trying to straighten out their life because he turned and called the cops and told them where he took her, because of course she told him she was running away. the cops took her to the shelter. and she called crying to my mom , please get me out of here i am so sorry. my mom said she would think about it. so my mom left her in there for 3 days without calling nothing to let her simmer in her decisions. then my mom picked her up and she never did it again. and becaame an angel for a few months. but then she went and got pregnant at 17 so she didnt learn a whole lot. but atleast the running away thing was settled.

Answer 8

While I am in favor of spanking if she is threatening to run away for a grounding then she would likely call police and say you are abusing her. Maybe you could talk to her about where she would go and how she would pay for things. Use monopoly money to show how much things cost.

Answer 9

When I threatened that my Dad went into the closet, handed me a suitcase and said he would help me pack. I was so mad, I went upstairs and started packing. Then I thought, should I take a sleeping bag... I thought about sleeping on ground...I realized I didn't have a place to stay...

When I was through packing, I tried to lift the suitcase, it was very heavy. How would I carry it, I was on foot?

Let the logistics occur to her on her own, she will not go.

Answer 10

When I was that age I would threaten to run away if I didn't get to do want I wanted or didn't like my punishment, etc. My mom always told me that she would help me pack. Sounds like it might be the same situation. She may be bluffing just not to get grounded.