I'm already engaged and I have been engaged for a year. We also live together. When he asked me to marry him he said it would be a long term engagement, and we didn't even set a date but I'm ready get married though and thought it would be nice if we got married on New Year's Eve but he said he wasn't ready yet, though. I don't get. I mean we've been engaged a year and I thought that was long enough. I know his parents don't like me because I don't want to sign a pre-nup but I really hope that's not why he's waiting. What do you guys think is going on? Does he really want to marry me anymore?
2007-09-29 15:10:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Perhaps he thought a longer engagement would help in getting his parents to like you more? Or perhaps he has some financial reasons or personal things that he feels he wants to square away before he takes the plunge? Or maybe he wants to finish school or achieve a certain level of professional success first?
To his credit, he did tell you it was going to be a long engagement--and since you accepted his proposal, it is only fair that you wait it out. I know you are eager to plan a wedding and get on to the next level, but if you keep pushing him, you are only going to hurt him.
2007-09-29 15:20:37 · answer #1 · answered by Benji's Mommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not engaged officially until you have a date. Usually the date is set shortly after the engagement; most couples are married in a year or less.
Sorry, but it sounds like the ring was to keep you quiet - with you two shacking up, he is in no hurry to get married. The prenup is just another red flag...
What you should do is move out on your own, and regain your own independence first of all. Keep dating him if you like, an see where things go.
2007-09-30 14:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you want to sign the pre-nup? If you truly love the man and don't plan on stealing his hard-earned money, just sign it. So many women get all upset about signing it. It's not "dooming the relationship", it's just being safe. No one plans on getting divorced, but half of all marriages end that way. If you really want to get married now, rather then waiting an unforeseen amount of time, sign the pre-nup. He'll be happy, you'll be happy, and you can move forward with your lives.
2007-09-29 22:58:35 · answer #3 · answered by Loki's Mommy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the guy is not ready to get married, then you are not really engaged, even if you have a ring. Engaged means "engaged to be married." Given that he put you thru the charade of being "engaged" for a year w/o following thru, I think it's time for you to move out. You can continue dating if you want, but IMO you should cut your losses and move on.
2007-09-29 22:37:14 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well did you nag him about getting engaged? maybe he did it so you would leave him alone. he did tell you it would be a long engagement , and a year is not a long time. talk to him about setting a date within the next 5 years and maybe you guys can come up with something, but don't push or he's never gonna marry you. let him do it when he feels its right
2007-09-29 22:35:15 · answer #5 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try to explain to him that it takes atleast a year to set up a wedding, and see if you can get him to pin point a date, even if it is two years off. Atleast then you get a comittment.
2007-09-29 22:14:56 · answer #6 · answered by autumn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have given him enough of your life, if he is not ready to commit all the way now. Set a time limit, and if he is not ready by that time; move on, dear. He could use the excuse of "not being ready" for a lifetime.
2007-09-29 22:19:25 · answer #7 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You need to ask HIM why HE isn't ready yet.
We on YA do NOT know the answer to this.
Talk to him. Find out why he isn't ready yet.
Finances? Schooling? Career?
Talk to HIM.
2007-09-30 09:45:35 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a old saying" no one buys the cow when the milk is given for free"
I would move out. If you want marriage then you should not settle. If he loves you he will marry you.
2007-09-29 22:19:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think the only way to answer this question is for you to talk to him and ask him about your concerns.
2007-09-29 22:16:15 · answer #10 · answered by BTB2211 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋