I'm a little aprehensive at this point in life, mom died 6 months ago?

Question

I live with dad, he's 74, mom passed 6 months ago. i,ve heard of people dieing of a broken heart. Now i have that phobia, he's in good health otherwise. He's very active, he works. he's going through depression though. i don't think i'm mourning, how do i know? I feel like i don't really care sometimes. i'm 38 by the way.

Answer 1

Both you and your dad need to go to therapy and try an antidepressant.

When my aunt passed my uncle went into a really bad depression. At his daughters suggestion he went on Prozac... it made a world of difference.

Answer 2

Ignore anyone who says you need an antidepressant at this stage. Depression at this point in your life is normal; you've lost a loved one and, even if you don't FEEL like you are mourning, you are still progressing through the stages of grief.

I suggest seeing a therapist. It helps to talk with a neutral third party and work out whatever conflicts are causing your issues. If it lasts for a long time and worsens to include severe, crippling sadness, you (and your dad) may then need medication.

EDIT: Also, there are no reliably confirmed cases of anyone in otherwise good health dying of sadness.

Answer 3

I'm sure your dad is mourning in his own way. Grieving is not depression, though someone might see it that way. It is a natural response to losing someone important to you. It takes time to pull your life together to feel you are on track to some extent. I think your not caring is a way for you to deal with your grieving. Talk with people you are comfortable talking to. If you don't have people like that, consider joining a grief group. It can help to hear that your feelings aren't so odd, and to hear how some people are dealing effectively with some issues. It can give you ideas, plus support when you are hurting. Perhaps you and your dad could go to such a group. Contact a local hospital or hospice. They should have information on when and where these groups are.

Answer 4

People mourn in different ways. He has you, but watch him just the same,..he might depending on how long they were married, still not take it well..talk to him about her, and don't be afraid to remember the fun things, and good memories, and let him know that you are there for him, that you two need each other now. I no you care, sometimes, you become numb, and that is how you cope...time is a great healer my friend...take your time, and it's good he is active, this is good for him, and will help him..but don't let him sweep it under the rug..it could catch up with him later,....

Answer 5

Maybe you think you are not mourning because you are so worried about your father. You are not in touch with your own feelings. You may be only thinking of losing him and you want to do everything you can to help him feel better. Your feelings have been placed on "HOLD" for now.
Best Wishes to you and your dad.

Answer 6

my dad died two years ago today. I was 12. I miss him and I was a little aprehensive when he died also. It got better though. Believe me, I had alot of family support and a few friend supports but I still got through it!
Good Luck and God Bless!!

Answer 7

It's normal to go through the stages of grief and you probably will be in mourning for a long time as this was your own mother, so will your father. Help each other and make sure you are getting help to deal with your own emotions-As you are probably tending to your fathers a lot right now. Don't forget to acknowledge your own feelings too.
If you feel depressed make sure to tell your doctor taht next time you see one or try some of the natural ways taht can help fight depression. It's normal to feel out of sync for a while though, even a year later.
people can pass away if they give up on life, it's happened-though no one knows truly if that's the only factor-Health must also be. My educated guess would be that it's a result of the elderly becoming so depressed that they no longer look after themselves and as a result health problems and struggles occure making people call their deaths-death of a broken heart.
Show your father a lot of love and attention, make sure he does things he's passionate about still and keep your mothers memory alive. It's healthy to look at photos and recall stories. It can hurt to have them put away and to never speak about it again. Give each other lots of hugs and walks together. I don't think he's in any danger of passing away, just let him know his wife is with him always in spirit-Watching over him an dto watch out for the signs she leaves for him. Whether in dreams, or especially dinging-noises-like angels bells or chimes. As a medium, I never believe in death-Just a transition that has no veil between us but doubt.
You too can be open to her , and she will come to you -Sorry if you don't believe or are an atheist-I know that can make the acceptance that much more difficult.

When My grandfather was passing away we didn't know which day it would be on b.c he was so tough and struggled as his body gave out on him slowly.
One night I had a dream-That I held his hand and helped him cross over.
My dad had a similar dream about him being ready to leave.
We were originally going to postpone our visit at the hospital until the next day, but teh dreams promted us to go early-Doing so wa sthe right choice, as he passed away shortly after-From being there 5 months holding on.
I was glad his pain was gone, but sad still. I'm sure you may have had similar feelings, that they are no longer in pain anymore.
The next day, I had a toy taht says "I love you" it never worked b4-and that night it kept going off on it's own-over and over.
It was a sign I believe..Many signs followed after-and so I have faith that he is alright.

I also have faith that your mom is doing well and that she is helping you and your father cope with her loss.

If you are hurting, break down-b.c the faster you break down and cry teh quicker you can pick yourself up again.

Hope you feel better, and don't worry about your father leaving you also, just make sure you spend time and count each moment as a blessing, your mother will love how you and your dad are able to have this opportunity to be close-I would assume :)


Hope you feel better, and i'm sorry for your loss.

Answer 8

There's this interesting article on grief and loss - the secret to surving life's unexpected storms, read it here