I followed my daughter from school ...?

Question

to see how she was driving because she has recently got her drivers license and I wanted to see how she was driving. I followed her and she pulled up to an alley and I saw her having sex with a boy in our car. I decided I am home schooling her and never allowing her outside the house until she turns 18, then she can do whatever she wants. What is another approach?

What I meant to say by following her to see her driving was that I wanted to see how she would handle driving alone rather than me being by her side and telling her to change the lanes and watch out for other cars.

Answer 1

I would have knocked on the dang window,then I would have taken her driving privilages away,I would then make her get a job(preferably babysitting small children to scare her).

Answer 2

WOW! Well home-schooling won't work with rebellion and all so here is my advice. She can't drive for two months and can't drive without you for another 4. Maybe find a clinic that teaches about std's. Getting her on birth-control would only let her know that you figure she's gonna do it anyway (but, that's your call since it's a tricky one) also ground her from the phone and from going to any type of social thing for 2 months. For the 4 months proceeding that only allow her friends to go to your house. See if there is a way to get the baby dolls that cry and you have to feed (they had them at my school) and start spending some serious parenting time with her. Remember the most important thing whatever the punishment think it through and for the love of God stick to it!!!

Answer 3

It's sad that you do not trust your daughter...did she ever do anything before to lose your trust? And why didn't you stop her when you saw her go into the alley??? That was just stupid on your part! As for homeschooling and never letting her out again is the dumbest idea I have ever heard. My parents were really protective when I was a young teenager and all I did was rebel...then they took a different approach. They allowed me to do things as long as I called and always let themknow where I was and what I was doing and who I was with. Once my parents gave me that trust back I stopped rebelling and things were fine. If you do this to her she will just get out of control (even more than you think she already is...and it CAN get a lot worse). Talk to her tell her that she has lost your trust for a while and is no longer allowed to use the car. Then tell her she has to work to gain your trust back. Let her go with friends as long as she has all her school work completed and any chores (if any) done, just as long as she checks in with you...if she doesn't cut that out. You have to give her the chance to earn your trust back and this is the best way.

Answer 4

First of all locking your daughter up will make things worse trust me where there is a will there is away. What I don't understand is why you did not approach the car at that very moment. Oh well that is in the past, what you have to focus on now is how to deal with the future, like I said in the beginning where there is a will there is a way and unless you are with her 24/7 she will find away around your rules. No parent wants to know their children are having sex especially at a young age, but now that you know you have to educate her tell her that this is not something that you will tolerate. Most girls who have sex at a young age have low self esteem so work on raising her self esteem and you will see a major difference. Take her to a clinic and show her what can happen, I mean everything from pregnancy to STDS. Locking her up will not work she will find a way around it!!!! Good luck!!!!

Answer 5

Wow! Looks like her driving isn't where your attention should have been focused. It seems that she is being allowed freedom and opportunities that she isn't able to handle at this point. To be honest, I'm not sure that you're approach will be affective. In her eyes you are ruining her life by this decision. At her age, her peers are incredibly important to her. I would work on having more open conversations with her. Not sure how you were at that age, but try to remember what it was like to be that age. I would be wanted to know how long she's been sexually active? Has she be tested for STD's? Aids? Does she use protection? Maybe a trip to the OB GYN would be great fun for her!!! I think at this point, you just have to work from where she is...you can't change what's already happened. You now know that your kids having sex...most parents don't have that knowledge. Talk to her...listen to her!! Homeschooling her will not stop what has already started...those kids have sex too! Good luck...

Answer 6

well not the best approach here however i would have freaked out myself. so here is the deal now that you know you need to take her to get some form of birth control. i know some parents freak about there baby having sex but the fact of the matter is it has already happened and it will happen gain. you have to trust that she will make good choices when she is not with you. you also need to tell her that you and her dad are not happy about her driving habits. do not tell her about the sex in the car thing. you do not want to lose her trust. but you have a right to know where the car is going. talk to her about her adventures when you are not around. and ask her what she does and where she has been. if the boy she had sex with is her boyfriend maybe her dad should have a man to man talk with him. and have your car fitted with GPS :) but really if she gets good grades and is not on drugs then you are going a good job. and now days kids have sex before marriage just make sure she is protected again pregnancy and ask her to use condoms and if she does not have any buy her some. i know you hate to encourage her to have sex but you want the best for her.

Answer 7

Whoa thats a big one! First why were you following her, you following her shows that you didnt trust her in the first place. If you wanted to see how she was driving you could always ride around i nthe car with her. As far as the sex thing, you should ask her if hes ready to become sexually active and give her some form of contceptive. If you tell her that you saw her and that you followed her, Im sure that you will lose her trust and she may not come to you for anything. Just calm down and talk to her, dont over react by home schooling because that may make her rebel and you'll have another situation on your hands. Good luck!!!

Answer 8

This story seems a bit unbelievable. So you followed her to the alley, watched the boy get in the car, watched the foreplay, watched the clothes come off, watched the sex take place, and THEN decided to intervene?

Answer 9

While I understand your first reaction to put her down into lock and key, it probably won't work. Talk to her and tell her what you saw. Tell her how disappointed you are that she would violate your trust like that and that you hope she was practicing safe sex. Take the car away because you can no longer trust her to come to and from school on her own. You could ground her from her boyfriend for awhile, but she'll always find a way to find a way to see him.

Answer 10

well first of all, how old is she? I do agree that taking the car privilages away is step one. 2 besure she gets to the dr to be checked for diseases and then be placed on birth control. Watch her everymove. You are a good Mom, because you cared enough to follow up and be sure she was where she said she would be. Lecturing does not work, consistancy and being involved does. Good Luck!!!!

Answer 11

Take the car away, get her on birthcontrol, and drive her to and from school, tighten the reigns, until she can act like a lady.

I would have went to the car.... pulled her out of the car, and told the boy to put bis damn pants back on...... And drove her home and had a VERY LONG TALK