Are You Obliged To Inform Your Lover/Spouse About Your Past Ex's?

Question

Just wanted to know what people think about this.

Answer 1

That's a good question.

I would say yes if you were sexual with them. They have a right to know who you've been with. I would also say yes if one of your ex's is a criminal, crazy, violent, and so on. I would also say yes if you have regular contact with an ex. Work, school, or just happen to see them from time to time.

If it was a relationship that lasted 2 weeks 20 years ago and you can hardly remember what the person looked like then nah, who cares.

Answer 2

Depends on what you mean. Do you mean talking about your relationship or sexuail experiences? I'd say yes to both. Reason being because every partner your lover/spouse has been with your actually being with when your loving them. Studies have shown that wneh you have sex with a woman your having sex with every guy she's been with. Even if it's as simple as her coming out of an abussive relationship. She's gonna carry the scares and you need to know for your own protection in either case.

Answer 3

For me personally I would tell them about them if they ask. But only the ones that really meant something to me. I mean it wouldn't be cool to just mention someone you were using as a ***** buddy or if you just had nothing but sex going on in the relationship. I say if he asked about your ex's just mention the most serious ones, like if you had 3 serious boyfriends. Tell him about the good parts of it, like if the guy always made time for you and understood you. So the current guy can know you value those things. But at the same time you have to tell him the bad things too. Like if an ex used to watch too much tv, or never took you out. He needs to know that stuff too to learn what not to do. So as for being an obligation I wouldn't really call it that. More like if you know this current guy is the guy of your dreams and you want him around longer. You would be helping him to become more of the man that you want him to be if he pays attention to what you are looking for in a man or even learns what you don't like. So I say don't think of it as an obligation but look at it as tips to help your man become the right man to spend the rest of your life with. And if he is a good man he will open up his ears and pay attention and employ the things that you like and not do the ones you don't. If he is a good man that way.

P.S. Even if you don't really want to do it, should ask him abou this past exes as well. So that you can learn what he likes and doesn't like as well. Oh and its always a good sign too to see if there are any patterns or anything he has learned from each serious relationship. Because usually there is something each person should learn from their relationships. And if they aren't that could be a clue he isn't one for looking deeper within himself to find out what he truly wants, he is just after being with girls without really learning anything from his previous experiences. This also goes for you too. He will need to see if you are learning from your previous relationships as well. Because a current relationship in my view can't fully move forward until each person has learned enough to be in the right place in their lives to make a new relationship work for the better. Good luck and be reasonably honest with each other. All should work out for the best.

Answer 4

If you think someone you dated n the past might be important for your lover to know, that you should tell her. For example, what if it turns out the girl you are dating turns out to be friends with one of your exs. Friends talk about that sort of thing so be careful. It isn't necessary but it might come out eventually or your lover may figure it out.

Answer 5

No. Unless you've got kids by them or something, I'm on a don't ask don't tell policy.

Even if they say "I just wanna know", be careful. It's the past, but there are some things that will change how they think about you.

Answer 6

Yes, but only when asked a specific question. To openly speak about them too much could give your current lover the idea that you retain feelings.

Answer 7

My opinion... I think you should only tell if they ask.
Sometimes knowing certain things about your partner's past relationships can cause a lot of problems, like when they start comparing what they know about your past relationships to the current one with them.

Answer 8

No, you are not obliged. In fact, don't tell them anything. It will only lead to trouble. Change the subject always.