I'm going to meet my dad for the first time every next summer and...?

Question

I'm meeting my dad for the first time in my life next summer. I'm 16 and I'm a junior in school. I was born in Philadelphia, PA but now live in IL. I might go to New York since that is where he actually lives. I'm also bringing my best friend because were there to support each other for everything. I was just wondering what do I say when I see him? Also what fun places and things are there to do in Philadelphia and NYC? I'm more a dark person and I like seeking thrills. please answer the most important question though about what i say to my bio dad. Thanks.

Well don't know if this is imporatant but I know I have other half-syblings. My dad is Costa Rican btw. I don't have high expectations, I've been through many disappointmants all my life and I learned you can't expect too much out of people, especially someone who hasn't been their all my life. Oh and I have an estranged relationship with my mom now...

Answer 1

well, go there with the intention on seeing your father. nothing more. dont expect much. because you may be let down. just go there with a strong mental state. he hasn't been there your whole life that's pretty shitty. make sure your not bitter when you go to see him. and make sure you aren't wearing your heart on your sleave. it might be a good thing your friends going. you can take breaks and talk with her about how your feeling so you can be more rational with the situation. go on myspace and look up that city and you will find coffee shops and places to see concerts. if you meet someone at a concert or coffee shop i am sure they would be down to show you a good time. be safe!

Answer 2

First of all a "dad" is someone who contributed to your birth and from then on was always supportive of you and was there for you whenever you needed him. A "father" is the man who was the sperm donor then moved on.
I met my "father" when I was in my mid twenties. Before actually meeting him I had all kinds of fantasies about what it would be like. He would hug me and tell me he loved me. He would tell me how proud of me he was. None of this happened. He was a complete stranger to me and I felt absolutley no love from him...though I felt love for him.
I guess what I am trying to say is, don't have a bunch of expectations or ideas on how it will be. Show up and see what happens. Let the ball be in his court and see how he plays it. I hope it turns out to be the most wonderful moment of your life. I would also suggest that you meet your dad by yourself, the first time so that you can find your way through the uncomfortable moments you probably will encounter, without interference from anyone. Hope he does the same.

Answer 3

Prior to going to New York, go to "Google" you can enter the city, for example "Alabany, New York.gov".

There will be a list for you to choose from and choose one at a time. You will be able to find out about Museums, Theatres, Shopping Centers, etc....

When you first see him maybe say, "Hi Dad, how are you?" Start a conversation, take some pictures with you of when you were growing-up, maybe take a cookbook with you so you will be able to cook him breakfast or make a nice lunch.

Be SAFE and be CAREFUL and have a wonderful time.

Answer 4

just be friendly and nice. say hi and just do small talk. you know that since you dn't know him well he will proably have you call him by his name which is what you can do. its not easy i know this. i know when i talked to my real dad first time it was hard cause you really dn't know what to say.its funny you will see it will not feel like a dad either. i mean whom ever you knew for your folks will alsway stay the same i mean just be nice and stuff and go along with all the things to do if hes taking you around and then if he does ask for you to live with him think about it i mean i am not sure what you have been through but maybe it won't be too bad take care and good luck

Answer 5

I was 12 when I met my biological contributor (aka father) for the first time. It was awkward, and I didn't really want to, but my Mom thought I should at least give it a try. This was after many years of people (strangers, mostly) telling me about how I am missing out on so much by not knowing my father, how my life will be rotten if I don't know my father, how I won't know how to accept love from a man if I don't know my father, and loads and loads of other nonsense like that. I'm sure you're familiar with their m.o... Anyhow...I had no desire to meet him, and I never felt like I was missing anything. I met him that one time, and never really had any more contact with him after that. He tried to be "fatherly", but after missing 12 years, that just wasn't going to fly with me. That was the end, and I'm more than okay with that.

But, it seems that you're wanting to get to know your bio father, and that's great. More power to you. Keep an open mind, and beware of any preconceived notions you might have. Also be aware that you may or may not like what you meet. With that in mind, make a list of questions that you have for him -- just so that you don't forget anything important that you might want answers to, and so that its in the forefront of your mind. Bring the list with you, or not -- it's your call. Think to the future -- is there anything family history related or health-related that you might want to know in the future? You have no way of knowing if this first meeting might be your only meeting with him. It could be the beginning of a lifetime friendship or renewed father-daughter relationship -- but you don't know. For instance, I now know that my bio father is colorblind, and I could pass that along to any little boy I have. That sucks, but I didn't know that before I met him, but now I do. You might want to know that information. Maybe you'd like to know stuff about his childhood. Your paternal grandparents? How to get in touch with them, how long did they live? Where were they from originally? What's your family history on that side? How did he meet your Mom? Why did he leave? What is his life like now? Do you have any other half siblings out there? I found out that my bio father didn't tell his parents (my grandparents) or his current wife (my stepmother) that I even existed until right before I met him for the first time (when I was 12). My grandparents on his side fell to pieces when they met me, and were so thankful, because I was the only girl in the family. I also found out that I have two half brothers. And, by the end of the meeting with him, I found out that I liked all of them a whole lot better than him, and was really glad that he wasn't a part of my life. :-)

So, the moral of the story is, figure out in advance all of the things that you might want to know in the future. You might not get a chance to ask those things ever again. You might like him, you might not. But you don't know, so prepare those important questions in advance.

By the way -- its great you'll have your best friend there for support. Good luck, and remember to keep everything only on the terms that you're comfortable with. :-)

Answer 6

Just give him a hug and tell you that you are so happy to see him. If your Dad lives in NYC he should know all the fun places to go but remember you are there to get to know your Dad. I would go alone instead of taking your friend.

Answer 7

Congrats!!
Hug him and say "It's my pleasure to meet you" or "It's nice to see you really, dad".
Hmm...
Ask about his personallity??
Hmm...

It's the same situation as Heroes...

If I were you, I won't bring my friends...

Because it's a family problem (sorry to say that) and your friend has no business...

Well then, Good Luck!!

Answer 8

Congratulations! Don't worry about what to do, its not important and will work itself out.