How do you get over being betrayed by someone you trusted?

Question

I will forgive in time but for now I am deeply saddened.

Answer 1

A friend in need is a friend indeed. There are many people who would walk in and out of your life. But, only true friends (or relatives) that leave footprints in your heart. A true friend is like a diamond which is very rare to find.

Just forgive them and don’t relate with them anymore, unless they can redeem their mistakes. Be grateful to God, since he revealed that they are not worthy of your trust.

Learn a lesson from this event. Why? I was taught that all people you know, good or bad, are teachers of life. Thru relation with bad people, you will feel much pain. But, by experiencing this pain, you would learn that you must not ever treat other people the way these bad people treat you. Otherwise, you are just another bad person and you will only earn other people's hatred.

People tend to disappoint others, so please don't rely too much on them. If you pray to God sincerely, surely he will listen to you since he is All Beneficent (Ar-Rahman (الرحمن)), Most Merciful (Ar-Rahim (الرحيم)), Peace and Blessing (As-Salaam (السلام)), and Guarantor (Al-Mu'min (المؤمن)). You will find people who are worthy to be your best friends during your journey of life.

Be strong, Terry. May God's grace be upon you always. Ramadan Mubarak & Kareem. Salaam.

Answer 2

Lets be serious for a change eh?:

I was betrayed this very year by a so called friend. He just abandoned me and all his friends for a 'girl' (Who cares about male/femlae relationships at 15) It was a traiterous scummy backstabbing thing to do. I was a bit downtrodden.

Firstly I wanted to get revenge. It seemed like a good idea at the start but I abandoned it, no matter how bad someone is, humiliating them was not going to work.

Instead what I did was to ignore him and laugh as his marks went from 80s to 50s. When he ends up a street sweeper or a waiter and Im performing a heart transplant, we'll see who is the idiot.

For the purposes of this question, a silly school argument might not be what you are looking for. Sorry :(

Forgive and forget is not something I like to apply. Once a rat always a rat

Answer 3

Your feelings of being crushed as your trust is violated is so valid..from now until the day you could bring yourself to forgive him..there will be a rollercoaster of emotions..anger,hatred,revenge,disgust and then to a point where maybe you just give up and even simply do not know what to feel anymore..

not sure what kind of relationship you are in..assuming its romantic and true love between a man and a woman..I have a quotation from someone who inspires me so much in life..my late grandmother,,she said..."Loving a man is like holding sand in the fist of your hand..hold him too tight he will slip away too quickly.." Bottomline..if its true love..if its meant to be..he will be yours..if not....its his loss..All the best in life..
i also live by this..that No burden is heavy enough for you to shoulder..whatever Test that may come our way is bearable.
Last but not least..you meantioned forgive..wonderful..Life is too short not to forgive..take care sweetie..

Answer 4

1) Do not allow bitterness to settle in.
2) Ask G-d to forgive them.
3) Make new friends, & do not speak badly of this former friend.
4) In time, forgive them...BUT MOVE ON.
5) Recognize that sadness of a normal reaction. You may even fear trusting others, as a safety mechanism, for a while.

Answer 5

Hi Terry G, this happened to me a while back and I was devastated and no matter how hard I tried I just could not get it out of my mind, it would just continually keep popping up at all times of the day, eventually I had a talk with a Priest friend who advised me to turn to Jesus and ask Him to forgive them for me and help me lean on His strength and compassion.
It took quite a while but the pain eventually eased then left me.
Hope this helps.

Answer 6

I think it depends on the situation and the depth of the betrayal. I recently had an unfortunate situation with a family member who's betrayal was the 2nd worse thing in my life to happen to me and involved me and my son. Her behavior and actions were so bad that I cut all familial ties with her and have no intentions of ever forgiving her as I don't think she deserves absolution from me. I've had other experiences that were not this bad and in time was able to forgive and get over the hurt, but I honestly don't think the relationship ever returns to what it was.

Answer 7

There is nothing worse. Remember Judas? Also Job? Job was in the worst time of his life and his friends and wife turned on him, I believe it was David that said the one in whom I ate with and trusted has betrayed me. I believe that betrayal is the utmost hurt there is. It's like having your heart cut out and trampled on. Hun will to forgive whom ever it is, So that God can begin to mend your wound, Hold your head up, and do not isolate yourself, that is a huge trick the enemy plays on the wounded. Spend time with God, cry if need be tell him how you hurt, allow him to hold you, he loves you and feels your pain.

Answer 8

It's tough, I agree. Personally, if someone betrays my trust I try to look back and see if I deliberately ignored warning signs or if they were just incredibly good at faking trustworthiness. Oh, and I never trust them again. In most cases, I will never have anything to do with them again, either. There are enough decent, honest people out there that I don't need to waste time with those who just want to f*ck with you.

Answer 9

You hit the answer - forgive. When you hold onto the hurt, you are only hurting yourself. Forgiving, totally and completely, lets the hurt heal. Forgiving is more for yourself than for the one who did you harm. So, forgive...however, it does not mean you should allow the same situation to continue or happen again. There is an old adage that is applicable to your situation:

Burn me once, shame on you ... Burn me twice, shame on me.

Answer 10

In my case I had God to help me, it is a hard thing because of heartbreak, and it takes time to open up again, but it can be done
God has healed me, given me grace to forgive