She is the mother of my granddaughter who I adore. She was backbitting her sister not wanting her sister to sleep over with her boyfriend because they live two hours away and the two couples would be going out to eat. My daughter said she didnt want to give her sister breakfast as it would cost her, she and her boyfriend make a good salary together. I told her that she was being disrespectful to her sister and cheap which she was. She is often rude and I am at a loss what to do. My other daughter would be destroyed if she knew her sister didnt want to feed her breakfast and have her sleep over.
2007-09-29 08:28:28 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She also said today that she didnt need me to confide in anymore, now she has a fiance and she will confide in him.
2007-09-29 08:29:31 · update #1
it seems like you have already taken sides with your daughters - one is right and the other is wrong. if they are adults, let them handle this situation. it's not up to you to decide who does what. your daughter made a decision, right or wrong, it's her decision, and it's up to her to let her sister know what her feelings are. it's shouldn't be you who breaks the news to your daughter about the sleeping arrangments. let them work it out.
2007-09-29 10:21:05 · answer #1 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the first response that if your good daughter would be "destroyed" she needs a psychiatrist. You need to tell her what your bad daughter is doing. I think you also need to tell your bad daughter what she is doing to the people around her that care about her. Write down all of the horrible things she does and says so that you know exactly what to tell her when you stand up to her.
Does she ever ask you to babysit? Or for any other favors? If she relies on you for anything, don't let her have it anymore. After you confront her, cease contact with her. Don't use the word disrespectful as much, frankly it doesn't mean much on it's own. Try explaining to her the reasons that people need to respect each other (write it down so you don't forget). Tell her she is childish, selfish and pathetic. Don't be afraid to be a *****, this girl needs it. Try to figure out some of the reasons that she's thinking this way, they may have something to do with how you or her sister treat her.
If she won't listen to you, write her a very long letter, telling her how she makes you feel and how she needs to work on being a nicer, more compassionate person. I'm sorry about your granddaughter, but she's going to end up pretty f**ked up from living with this woman. You're going to have to give in to ceasing contact if you want this to have any effect. You nasty daughter will come around one day, hopefully your granddaughter won't be 16 by then. Good luck.
2007-09-29 10:03:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should listen to Dr. Laura. Look her up on the Internet.
Anyway, for now, your unmarried daughter should not be sleeping with her boyfriend at her sister's house. That in itself if disrespectful to herself; however, if she is over 18, it is her body, her own disrespect to herself and there is nothing you can do about it.
The only thing you can do in this situation is to talk to your other grown daughter who is being disrespectful to you! Tell her you are both grown women who deserve respect and you both need to do it. You don't want to "cut her off" because you don't want her to keep your precious granddaughter from you. If she won't respect you, just be pleasant so you get to see your baby. Bite your lip if you have to and know that she too will grow up some day.
2007-09-29 08:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by MaryBerry 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your other daughter would be "destroyed" if she found out her sister didn't want her to sleep over or feed her breakfast, then she needs a psychiatrist.
Realize that your disrespectful daughter has her own personality and ways. You can't change her bad attributes and at some point, we all need to accept others at face value... so if your disrespectful daughter wants to be cheap and back bite, it's her choice.
It's not right or nice, but her choice.
The two sisters need to deal with their own problems. Adding a third party isn't healthy... when it comes to my two sons, i don't get in the middle of their issues. Adults can take care of their own problems.
2007-09-29 08:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ok, point one, she lives away from you right? I would tell your daughter that please dont go over her house anymore, number 2, I would not be mean but use a liitle tough love with your daughter, I would not call her or email her or write her for days, or even weeks, I would just simply ignore her, And there is going to become a day where she will call you and ask for your mother advice and or your other daughter, and I would say to her, no, plain out I refuse to talk to you, and if she ask why? Or why? havents you taljked to me, or come over, or why? isnt my sis coming over anymore? Just say in a stern voice, because i refuse to be treated like an animal, and iam your mother not your dog that you can talk to anymore, after all you have your finace, and dont bother talking to sis cause she aint avalaible, and click, hang up, i know it hurts, it might sting a little, but maybe she will think twice on how she is treating you
2007-09-29 09:36:57 · answer #5 · answered by trudycaulfield 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may have a good reason to not want her sister and bf to stay over. Maybe she doesn't want strange men in the house with her child. Maybe she suspects theft or drug use going on. As a parent of adults, you need to respect their right to make choices and try not to comment unless you are offering a solution.
2007-09-29 09:07:31 · answer #6 · answered by ruby 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋