Husband changing from National Gaurd to Active Duty?

Question

I know we are in for a different lifestyle. My husband and I are excited to go, we've already hade a deployment and all so Im ok with that but what are we in for?! I wanna know what its like because I've never been on an active duty base. So any wives out there lay it on me =-)

Answer 1

A military community is a closer one than when I was in the Army.

The base becomes the center of your world, not only will your husband's unit be there, but you will go there as well. You will shop in the PX (think Wal Mart with little food) and the Commissary (a large warehouse store) and if you drink alcohol the class 6 store. It is called the class 6 because of the regulation for it, and anything stronger than beer can only be purchased here. The prices are much better than in the "real world."

Your child will probably attend a school with other military children from military families, assuming you have children. The base hospital will become your hospital and you will live in subsidized housing near other military families.

The biggest change though is going to be the loneliness with your husband deployed to the war zone it is going to be months to a year before you see him again. You want a computer with a web camera so you can receive email and have web chats. You are going to change while he is gone and he is going to go through some very tough changes.

Even when he is home he will be working late hours and you can expect him to be sent to the field on exercises for a week at a time or sometimes a little longer. You are going to have to handle the bills, the house (apartment most likely), and all the chores while he is away. You will need a very independent spirit and when he comes back he will want to take up right where he left off and that isn't always possible.

A military life is hard on the families, sometimes it is harder on the family than on them. The change in life style is huge and the change in your community is big. Try to be outgoing and make friends where you live, you will need them.

One huge factor is the movement. Your husband can expect to spend at most two years assigned to a state side unit and then he will be transferred somewhere overseas. Then number of bases have dropped so you will have a strong chance of not being assigned to some minor base, but you will be plucked out of your normal life and stuck into a new life and a new world. All around you will be an alien civilization, the temptation will be strong to stay in the small American community, but you need to embrace your host country and learn to handle life there. Take it as an adventure that few Americans get a chance to live. Most of us only get to visit for a short time, you can live in the country for at least 3 years and you will have a chance to explore it.

Again the loneliness is going to be a major factor. Your husband will either be gone on deployment, at work or in the field most of the time. When he finally comes home, if he has been in a war zone, he will be a changed man; who has seen horrors that he won't want to remember and can't forget.

Your vocabulary is going to change as phrases like "Article 15" (a military trial that isn't a trial), "deployment" and acronyms become common. They vary with the base but you don't use phrases like "Date of Birth" any more those become DOB.

The hardest thing is to be ripped out of a town with your friends and your family near by and then sent to another location only to be ripped out of that one in a few more years. A year can be a long time so you need to make friends and be able to lose them.

Often it is going to feel like you against the rest of the surrounding people. The locals that permanently live in the community may not like you because you are a service wife; it is envy and prejudice because they can't understand all that is in your new life and they know that you can shop and go places where they cannot.

You are going to be suddenly outnumbered by men at least 10:1 most of whom are single. If you are pretty than expect to be hit upon and lean how to deal with it politely and firmly.

Discipline is tight because a single word to a person’s command will land them in a world of hurt that applies to you as well. Your husband’s commanding officer can’t control or touch you, but he or she can make your husband’s life miserable. If you owe a store a debt and it isn’t paid or if your payments are late then they know they can complain to the CO (Commanding Officer) and he will force prompt compliance, so don’t give anyone reason to give your husband heartburn by being tardy with a payment.

You get a lot of benefits by being a Military spouse, but you face a lot of hardship to balance them out and the hardships often seem to be worse. Remember, that the military community is not your enemy, they are there to help you and they honestly want to. You have to jump through their hoops and do the proper paperwork, but if you have a problem they will be your first resource. Your husband has to start any military action, but there are things you can do. When in doubt friendly spouses can be you best ally, they will know your problems and how to work the system.

You will need:
- Your husband’s social security number
- Contact information to reach him, his immediate superior, and his commander.
- A Durable Power of Attorney that gives you permission to handle your husband’s affairs in his absence and an up to date will for both you and your husband. Both of these can be obtained by your husband free from the JAG (Judge Advocates Corps); the military form of lawyers.

If you are stateside then you driver’s license shouldn’t have to be changed, but if you move overseas you will need a new International License; again the military will be your route to getting it. When you are sent overseas you will both be allowed (forced) to attend an orientation meeting with a language and custom introduction as well as a chance to get an International Driver’s License.

The cost of freedom is high and those who pay the most are the families. Remember though that your husband is on the forefront of the defense of our nation. His job may seem minor, foolish and at times annoying, but it is an important one and a vital one.

I was only a single serviceman, but I had friends who were married and I knew some of what they had to go through. One of the most difficult things to do will be how to spend your time when your husband is gone. It is going to be hard to find a job, although you can get on a list for military jobs. If you have a skill like teaching then you could be in demand, but otherwise you will have to settle for fast food, clerical, grocery store or something similar; if you can get it. Overseas, you will have an even harder time of finding a job.

If you have children then you will become their soul means of support and comfort. Daddy, will be around sometimes, but often he will be away. If you don’t have kids then the temptation to become addicted to TV and a bump on the log will be high; find something you can do on the Internet or a suitable hobby. When you are overseas phone calls home are expensive visits home will be expensive too.

It is going to be hard to adjust to your new life, but you can do it, many people before you have and many people are in the same situation that you are in.

I wish the both of you good luck.

Answer 2

I think it all depends on where you are stationed. While stationed in germany we had a friend that switched and they loved it. A base is pretty much a base. All that really changes are command rules,size and convience. Depending on your husbands MOS he should pretty much work 8-5. Plus am PT of course. He'll have to go to the field, and when he is preparing to deploy he will work longer hours. On Thursday afternoons he should get off at noon and have the rest of the afternoon for family time. Unless you are stationed overseas, last year the USAREUR commander took family days away and gave more training holidays. If you choose to live on base there are noramally higher standards you have to meet when it comes to the appearance of your home and yard, however we are at Ft. Bragg and they seem to let people be as trashy as they want here..anyway If you live on post the army, or gov leased housing office maintains your home. AT our base they have a lawn service so you don't even have to mow! They fix your dishwasher when it breaks anything thats messed up really. Speed limits are always slower on bases. The highest speed on Bragg is 45 mph. You have to go to the base hospital for your healthcare, unless you are refered out. Stateside commissary's and the PX tend to have pretty good hours. In europe they normally close at 8 if not 6. Child protective services is a much bigger deal on base than off. And when you do something wrong you are much more likely to get into trouble with your commander than off post.(speeding, bounced checks ect) I love living on base The surrounding towns of Ft. Bragg are extreamly dangerous! So I was happy to get on post housing. There is normally a waiting list stateside. Most bases let you fax your orders and the paperwork to get on the waiting list before you get there. AT bragg you have to be standing infront of the people at the housing office with leave form, orders and neccisary paperwork in hand. That is because house here is gov leased, not gov owned. So that might be something you look into when you get your orders..and deiffinatly research the area!! Sometimes its a little bit of a pain on post, like if you want someone to come visit that doesn't have a vechile pass. Most bases its not to har dto get one, but at bases like Ft. hood you wait hours to get a pass. Anyway, thats all I can think of at t he moment. Oh yeah...the great thing about living on post. 9 times out of 10 when your husbands deployed, the woman across the streets husband is too. There is a little more support. Your "in the loop". Well I hope this helps you a little. Good luck to you guys!

Answer 3

Living on post in no diffrent than being in the city. If you want to live on post there is usually a waiting list. Avoid driving during the normal PT times/lunch and 5 p.m. lol.
There is alot to do. It also depends where you get stationed.
If you have any questions you can email me. Good luck to you both.

Answer 4

I'm not a wife but my daughter in law is now my son in in the army. I was active and married for 6 years back in the early 70's and life was very good. service people take care of service people. you will be happy

Answer 5

You don't have to live on post -- if you own a home you do not have to move anywhere .... Stay in your home and husand can commute once a month if it is not too far... Hard to move more stress than can be immagined....

Answer 6

you have to wear shoes now
never had a pair?
the PX has plenty
Cheers

Answer 7

Catty b*tches in your business.