LDS only question, doctrine, not culture?

Question

The leaders of the church teach that women are powerful and divine individuals, with great potential and ability to change the world, but many of the uneducated within the culture believe that the divine potential stops at getting married and having kids, and that the way to change the world is through raising up a righteous generation. As a single woman that is unable to have children, I know that I have other divine potential than becoming a mother (as great as that may be). How do I both communicate that there is something else out there for me to acheive, and figure out what that is? The cultural answer is to find a husband and adopt kids. What is the doctrinal answer? How do I continue in strength of doctrine, in a culture that teaches that I am useless?

I didn't say that I was goining to adopt children as a single woman, but since you brought it up... I have worked in elementary schools for 10 years now, and frankly, I know alot of single women that could do better than a majority of the people that are out there raising children. The alternative to them adopting is that the children bounce from one foster home to the next until they turn 18 and are turned out onto the street. Sorry this doesn't have to do with the question, but if I wanted to adopt, being single wouldn't stop me.

ca va, no big deal, I tend to get up in arms about the adoption thing, but thank you for your comments!

Answer 1

I know what it's like to be single and in the church. I'm 34 and haven't been married. (I guess that makes me a menice to society. Brigham Young)

We are counceled to be serves to others, our greatest contribution until the day we marry is to lose ourselves in serving others.

I know it's hard, I'm in the same shoes you are and they are uncomfortable to wear. Especially with the church talking so much about family and the importance. So the only thing I can say is find ways of serving those in the community, especially in your Ward or stake.

Answer 2

You are not useless. You are divine from the beginning. You are a daughter of Heavenly Father.

My sisters have the same feelings. But they realized their potentials they may become. As far as they keep the commandments they were in the safe side.

There is plan that God has for us and sometimes hard to understand. As for you now, if you keep His commandment and faithful to the end He will reward you.
I believe He well prepare someone for you to be your partner for time and eternity.

Attend or listen to the 177general semiannual conference on Oct.6-7 by any medium of communication. You will absolutely find comfort and assurance of.

Answer 3

Successful marriages and families are wonderful blessings that are the goals that Church members strive for. Many fundamental doctrines of the church stress family relationships. But there is also a comfort to be given to those who are single. The the Ensign from a couple months ago was devoted to singles. That can be a very good reference on many points of doctrine. I recall that one of the current Apostles was widowed and remarried a sister who had never been married before. She had a beautiful testimony of the trials and blessings she faced.

Anyway go to Womens Conference tonight. There will be one very special talk just for you.

Answer 4

As an LDS mom, I disagree with single women adopting children. I see the influence that my husband has in the lives of our children and I feel so sorry for the kids who don't have a dad.

One of my best friends from college is a successful lawyer who has worked in DC. But she's single. She does a lot of community service with Big Sister and Big Brothers. She teaches Highland Dance. She is doing her Master's Degree. And there is not a man/woman/bishop or anyone alive who would dare think that she's useless or mediocre!

Nor would anyone say that about Shari Dew! She is one of the most inspiring women I have ever heard speak. I was single when she was in the RS presidency and she was amazing and said a lot of things which made me feel more content with what my life was at that time.

Be the best YOU that you can be. And be creative! There are a lot of different problems in the world which I would love to tackle, but I'm too busy potty-training! (which, I'm not knocking, by the way!)

Women have an absolutely huge potential for good, for good works, for charity and compassion. Think of how you can make your community or city better...in ways that we moms who are baking bread can't! You have opportunities that we don't.

I am not trying to diminish my role here. I would not give up my children and my life for anything. But I hope that I am effectively communicating that you have an opportunity to advocate for the people who can't do it on their own...whether at home or abroad...whether young or old. Be happy. And be inspiring!

EDIT: I must have misunderstood what you are asking.

Answer 5

I'm not sure htat there's a true answer of docterine on this matter. I think it varies depending on each and every woman. It's going to sound like a cop-out answer, but I do believe the answers more than not lie in prayer or the scriptures. Patriarchal blessings are also a good resource...have you recieved yours? (If you havn't make sure you're ready first...and if you have read it often, for it's a very important tool...I read mine every SUnday during the passing of the Sacrament) There's a divine calling to each of us. As one of my aunts use to always say, "EVERYTHING, happens for a reason." I think you've alreaady found one of your ccallings...you're a teacher. I've had teachers that have changed my life for good becasue of their examples.

Also, my ward had a handcart trek earlier during the summer and I was placed in a family as a big sister, the Ma and Pa in real life was a couple who have yet to have children and both are nearing there 30's, I'll still walk up to them during church and call them Ma and Pa. They're were parents to me without having to have children of their own.

Answer 6

The "cop out" answer is to say that lies between you and the Lord. However, I believe that we all can contribute in many different ways, in addition to raising families. There are many issues in the world the perplex the human race and are in need of being resolved. As a contibuting member of society, we can concentrate our efforts in improving the world. Some examples that someone might focus their atterntion and work toward the betterment of the human race are, seeking out the opprosed and misfortunate and making their lives just a little bit better. The abused child, battered spouse, homeless, etc need advocacy and help to improve their situations.
A single woman, a daughter of God, could devote her time and efforts to those and similar causes. I cannot think that God would be proud of such a person and bless you as one of his children. Let the abused and downtrodden of your community and of the world be "your" children and help them improve.

Answer 7

You have to get out of that culture. From what you say, it sounds to me like you are in Mormon Central. If that's teh case, then get out. Go to the east, or the mid-west and realize your potential. I know that here, in central Ohio, the singles have a wonderful program and it's NOT a match-making scheme. They have had some programs which sound so wonderful that many of the married sisters want to go! And, even tho, as I said, it's not a match-making scheme, there HAVE been marriages, two or three in our ward that I know of.

Have you ever been to "Time Out for Women"? One of the organizers for that is Sheri Dew, who is some sort of head of Deseret Books, a former member of the General Presidency of the Relief Society, AND never married with no children.

Answer 8

I am not LDS, I am a Christian. I believe that Jesus gave us marvelous examples that apply to today's life.

You are single, which means you have time. You do not need a husband to find a neighborhood that is financially poor. Neighborhoods that are financially poor are usually spiritually poor. This is where you start. It may not be with the LDS church (altho I would think the LDS church would have many out reach programs). Volunteers are always needed. Who is more suited to giving love to a needy child than a woman who knows she will never hold one of her own. For her, all children are hers. You need no permission. Just do it, as the ad says. Funny, sometimes when we follow God's Word, forgetting all that man has added, God adds abundantly to our own lives.

Answer 9

Did you read the First Presidency's Message from a couple months ago? It addressed this very issue - the value of every single person. It focused on how we unmarried members still have LOTS to contribute.

Answer 10

Check the writings of the Church's' Relief Society Presidency. I believe she has written some really liberating stuff about women and what they can achieve aside from motherhood.

You are not useless... and your church does not say you are. Have you read "Walk Tall, You're a Daughter of God"?