I just need some advice. I am 22. I lost my Mom last year. I didn't have time to grieve as I had to quickly pack up all of my stuff as well as my mothers, move out, find a home for our German Shepherd and move into my Grandmother's. My Grandmother got sick shortly after, so I had to try the best I could to help her and put my mental needs aside. It is now a little over a year later, I got myself back into college, started working, and am set to graduate with my A.A. in December with plans to pursue my B.A and M.A. But, i'm falling deeper and deeper into depression. I have no health insurance, and i'm just struggling with this anguish alone. The grief and guilt are destroying me. I just don't know how much longer I can take living like this. Is or has anyone out there lost a parent or have gone through a situation similar? I just don't know where to turn anymore. Thank you to anyone who takes the time to write.
2007-09-29 05:49:32 · 9 answers · asked by N 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are not alone! I went through a similar experience several years ago when my wife literally dropped dead on me. It was a shock form which I never thought I would recover. First of all, if you are still in College, check to see if they have a Mental Health Professional on Staff. If they do not, go see your own Physician ASAP, There are many medications which will help you cope with this tragedy until you regain your composure. There is nothing to be ashamed about in reaching out for help. Do not, I beg you put this off. With the right medication, you will feel like a new person an about 3 weeks. Please, please do not let another moment of suffering go by. And if you need further help, email me, and I will do whatever I can to help you. Please let me know how you are doing.
2007-09-29 10:38:43 · answer #1 · answered by Alfie333 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mental health has to be your priority right now. School is not going any where. Your degrees will still be sitting there when you have taken care of the more pressing issues of grief and huge transitions in your life.
No matter what it costs--go to a good general practitioner and get a physical exam. Sometimes it is necessary to reset your brain chemicals. Anti-depressants can do this. You can always start on the very smallest prescription amount available and slowly increase if needed, carefully adjusting your brain chemistry slowly and looking for side effects.
There is so much stress in just moving, or just going to school, or just being twenty two or just caring for an elderly relative or just having your mother die. Realize how much you are facing right now. Even someone with tons of support would be having a hard time with so many demands.
Do not put so much pressure on yourself. There is no harm in getting help. Things can spiral out of control quickly if we neglect to care for ourselves--whether physically, emotionally, spiritually or mentally.
When you are depressed it is hard enough to just wake up everyday let alone care for an elderly person, go to school, take care of all of your physical needs and have a load of unexpressed grief on your shoulders.
Please put yourself first (for once!) and take care of you. If you go any deeper into depression it will only be harder to climb back out. Please get professional assistance.
I am sending you a private email to share further with you--{{{HUGS}}}
2007-09-29 07:20:13 · answer #2 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hello there!
I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your dear Mom. I have lost parents too, and my youngest son aged 12. However, I am a Christian, and God pours in His comfort and strength.
When Jesus stood at the graveside of Lazarus He told the grieving family two things we must never forget: "Your brother will rise again" John 11 v 23. "Everyone who believes in me does not ultimately die at all." Do you believe this?
What is going to take you beyond death and into your Heavenly home? Christ, only Christ! He alone holds the promises of resurrection and the hope of eternal life. He conquered death and the grave for you. You may be reading this, fighting tears and anguish of grief. Christ understands your grief; like no other He feels your pain.
If you have never trusted in the Lord Jesus Christ, you must take care of that today. Do not wait for a more convenient time. Put your trust in Him today and you will be saved. For those who are saved, He has gone to prepare a place for you. You can then exclaim with Paul the Apostle, 'O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting? (1 Corinthians 15 v 55).
2007-09-29 10:16:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mother when I was 14 years old. She was my best friend in the whole world and I thought I would die without her. I took care of her for 4 months while cancer was eating up her entire being. I had so many questions after she died - such as why would such a loving, well-liked woman be taken away from ones that needed her so bad. I am now 36 years old and trust me not a day goes by that I don't think about her or miss her. I have 3 beautiful kids that are 17,15, and 20 and regardless if they ever met their grandmother, they definitely know her through the things I have told them. I will tell you what kept me going- I knew in my heart that I would one day be with her again as long as I didn't do anything stupid to myself. To this day if God asked me if I could have one more day with my mother, knowing that I wouldn't have her the next- would I take it ? Yes, I would.
2007-09-29 07:04:13 · answer #4 · answered by marcy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope this will help. It may sound a little strange but it helped me. I took care of my mother who had cancer and she died in my home. My sister and I packed up all her stuff...but then my husband and I split up and I never really grieved or unpacked her stuff for a long time. It was just too much. About a year ago my friend's mother died. She too took care of her at home. I went to visit before she died....and it just all came back to me...in a rush. A few months after the funeral was mother's day. I knew this would be so hard for her. I took a chance to do something that really helped us both...which is what I am passing on to you. I asked what her favorite icecream was and if she could meet me where we could spend some time...just the two of us. When I got there I gave her a hug and asked if it was ok if we talked about our mothers because I was missing mine. We spent the next 2 hours telling each other stories about our mothers. We laughed ...we cried....we ate tons of icecream. But we got some of our feelings out...that we had not been able to do. She has passed this on to another friend. I know there are grief support groups that would probably help too. I have never been to one. I am a private person...and don't show emotion much in public....so this was an easier way for me. I still miss my mother very much. But I can remember the good better now...not just the painful things. When you don't get to grieve ....it stays like in the back of your mind.....something you still need to do that you never get done....which does cause depression. Oh, I finally unpacked her things too...not too long ago, and learned more about my mother than I ever knew. That helped me too. One more thing that I believe will help you ....is to get to know God as a friend and Father. Pour out your heart to Him, He can handle your grief....anytime. He promises to heal your heart if you will let Him. He knows how much you are hurting. I will pray for you..that God will put His loving arms around you...and hold you close to Him....and never let you go. Take care....and email if you need someone to talk to.
† On-call Prayer Warrior †
2007-09-29 08:05:34 · answer #5 · answered by bethy4jesus 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I lost 2 of my grandparents 17 days apart when I was in high school, so I barely had time to grieve for my grandfather before my grandmother passed away. Grieving is the only way that you can accept that your loved one is truly gone (physically) but she'll always be with you in spirit. I will be more than happy to listen and talk with you anytime you need someone to turn to, ok? You're doing the best you can and your situation isn't an easy one to deal with but I am proud of you for continuing to pursue your academic career and taking care of your grandmother. I think that's what your mom would want you to do. Please let me know if there's anything I can do to help :)
2007-09-29 05:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by Ohioguy95 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
The depression part doesn't surprise me, as you have taken on a huge load of responsibility in a very short amount of time for someone so young.
At your college - do they have counselors who can help with your desperate feelings?
As for health insurance, your school should also have some help for people in financial straits.
Please check with your schools' dean or human services department as that is what those people are there for, to make sure you are a healthy student.
A side note: whether you are a religious person or not, it is very helpful to turn to some one (priest, rabbi, minister, etc) who deals with these types of issues.
Most of the religious leaders in your community would welcome helping someone in your situation and try to help you sort through all the burdens.
Best wishes.
2007-09-30 07:13:43 · answer #7 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, you have my deepest love and sympathy. I would encourage you to seek the Lord, and to build a relationship with the God of the Bible. He loves you deeply, and He sees your hurt and pain. Jesus longs to have you come to Him, just as you are, and He longs to comfort and lift you up, and to heal you of depression and all else. God does not want you depressed! He has deliverance for you. Get a Bible and read the 91st Psalm. Read it over and over again. Let its words sink into your heart. Memorize it !! Read other parts of the Bible too, like the book of John. There is healing in the Bible.....true healing and deliverance. God is on your side, honey......turn to Him with your whole heart. Get to a Bible teaching church and soak up the music and the words of hope and help. I pray right now that the God of all Peace with comfort and deliver you, and give the grace of an entire new outlook on life !! God loves you and so do I !!
2007-09-29 08:33:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I pray for you to recieve peace and joy.
2007-09-29 09:10:55 · answer #9 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋