What's the best way to reject a hug?

Answer 1

That depends on who is trying to hug you, and why. No response applies to all situations and all people; we have different obligations and concerns given the givens, so to speak. I'll suggest a few responses for different situations.

STRANGER
Whether it's a crisis (death in the family) or just a difference of personality, strangers are the easiest to handle. Step back while extending a hand, and clasp hands as warmly as possible. This indicates that your response has nothing to do with dislike, but with your personal boundaries. If you DO dislike the person, give a firm and swift handshake. This establishes a boundary and limits the emotional range of interaction you're willing to participate in.

FRIEND (no hostility)
This person should already know your boundaries. If it is a crisis situation, accept the hug and the opportunity to let down your control for a few moments to accept the support being offered. Your friend may be more aware of how close you are to the ragged edge than you are. If it isn't a crisis situation, just say you're uncomfortable with physical contact. DO NOT put down their own needs and personality in order to establish yours, by using words like "touchy-feely" or anything like that. This doesn't have to be about right or wrong; it can be about simple preferences as long as you keep it that way.

FRIEND (hostile)
Shake hands. Even in the midst of profound hostility, people can simply go their separate ways. Shaking hands establishes a civil relationship, which is what we ought to have with those people we can't be amiable with. Step back slightly, and shake hands firmly. Then, with a nod, exit.

RELATIVE
The relative who wants to crush your lungs adores you. If you want to get out of the hug, sneak up on them and hug them first from behind. They'll feel adored, you'll feel more in control, and then (this is important to save your ribcage) dash off to hug someone else. You'll get a reputation for a little eccentricity, but that only assures your inclusion in family stories long after you're wormfood. Even if you aren't bosom buddies with the relative, it's still satisfying for the shock factor.

GRIEF HUGS
I've become a hug person, thanks to years of being hugged by very kind and considerate people. However, the hugs I simply can't handle are the ones that I receive at funerals or other sad events. I have to work too hard to keep it together and be strong for various people to let my self-control slip for a second. I keep a cup of coffee in front of me at all times when possible, and when I see someone approaching me I smile and keep it center stage. I do give hugs when people need them, but that's because I think comfort is a duty, not a decision.

QUIT TOUCHING ME
Those hugs from people who just want to press flesh and insist on ignoring your verbal cues and body language cross the line. My favorite response? The quick buddy-punch to the upper arm and a jolly verbal response. A loud one. Still persisting? "No, thank you." Still persisting? "I'd really rather not." Still persisting? "This obviously isn't about friendship, because friendship doesn't make me this uncomfortable." Telling you you need to open up? "Why is your need for a casual hug more important than my deep need for personal space?"

Answer 2

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1) Tell the hugger you are a 'no huggian'. It's against your religion.

2) Yell 'Ahhhhhhh! A zombie!' while pointing at the individual with their arms extended and bolt for the nearest exit.

3) Grab something for a weapon and get into a defense posture claiming you were just reacting out of instinct. Then explain how you grew up on the lower east side and ask them not to walk up on you like that. Explain that this is how people die where you are from.

4) Give them a swift kick to the groin and politely say, 'No thank you' and walk away.

5) Treat them as though they are the defense and you have the ball. Lower your stance, put your head down, and use your shoulder as you take a lunge at their midsection and plow right by them. As they fall, stop in your 'end zone' and yell TOUCH DOWN! while spiking your football and doing your victory dance in excessive celebration. (Be ready for a penalty flag)

6) See them coming at you. Pretend you didn't. Turn. And walk in the other direction.

7) See them coming. Right before they reach you, pretend to twist an ankle, step on a nail, or anything painful enough to cause a VERY dramatic incident. And slowly limp away to treat your wound.

8) Allow them to hug you, and hug them back as tightly as you can. Then start cry as loud as you can. When they try to release you, hug them harder and cry out 'Please don't leave me'. This should discourage future embraces.

9) Point to the hugger and begin yelling 'STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!' and run away.

10) If it's a stranger, quickly grab their right hand with your right hand and place your left hand on their forearm and shake while introducing yourself.

If it's somebody you know like that weird uncle or something, then explain to them that their physical contact makes you uncomfortable. If they ask you why, then tell them. Then suggest you start with a hand shake in the future and see if things get better that way first. And tell them it will be your secret if the hugs felt inappropriate.

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Answer 3

Here in Mexico, we hug, make kiss-kiss noises on both cheeks, guys hug and pound each other on the back. Rejection is always noted, once rejected you won't be approached again.

Answer 4

Who knows what grew to become into in his head yet he owes you an apology. i could merely handle him like an acquaintance. Say hi, in passing, and save walking. He does not should any extent farther from you. He ought to understand he dealt with you badly. If he does not, then he wasn't a great number of a chum so circulate on. i'm sorry this got here approximately, however!! : (

Answer 5

I'm glad I am not the only one who dislikes hugs! Most of my friends and family know of my dislike but there are always others that think they need to pass their germs on to me. I pretty much play it by ear and do what seems best at the time. I have used all of the above methods at one time or another.

Answer 6

Personally, unless it's someone who is just hugging you to be smart alecy or anything else like that, I would just take the hug. I mean, they're just trying to be nice and friendly. I really don't see a need to hurt their feelings over it.

Not to be argumentative about it, but is a little hug really going to kill anyone?

Answer 7

I don't know why anybody would reject a hug, but I guess if I felt compelled, I'd do it just by keeping my arms to the side and not doing anything.

Answer 8

Don't survive a hug you don't want. I don't like people touching me if I don't know them well enough. When I see a hug coming, I occupy my arms or turn my back towards them. Or simply say "excuse me" and walk away. If people keep wanting to touch you, tell them point blank if they aren't getting the hints.

Answer 9

Offer your hand for shaking. It prevents (usually) the other person being able to hug you or back up and claim a cold if you don't mind white lies.

Answer 10

ah, this is a good question, i always have a problem with that because i don't let guys hug me anymore, but some of my guy friends are used to it....if it's a friend, i usually make a joke of it - like make a face at them when u turn away, and laugh, and it makes the situation not awkward =)