My buddy and I have worked together fixing up his properties for 3 years. The one apartment I live in has special meaning to both of us, as it took 3 years to finish, but he "gave" it to me at a reduced rent because I still help renovate his apartments for new tenants, sometimes 20 plus hours a week after work and weekends, I work late and almost always come home to him either being in my space or knowing he has been in there. I trust him but it seems very very wierd to me. What does one do when they are in another's home and they aren't there? I am a private and neat person and even call my parents if I just want to get something out of their garage (I have some things stored there) One day he even brought a friend through and showed our progress without even thinking of asking. Just "hey look what the place looks like" and walk right in. The guys my best friend but my landlord too and I have a sweet deal $$$. What do I do/ say? I have never experienced a situation like this.
2007-09-29 03:07:36 · 15 answers · asked by shizzle_my_bizzle 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just kindly ask him not to allow himself in when you aren't there. Everyone has a right to their privacy, and landlords are supposed to inform tenants before entering the property. I would not like that at all either, friend or not. I even knock on the door when I go to my parents' home. I don't just walk right in. That's just rude.
2007-09-29 03:13:49 · answer #1 · answered by Lydia H 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't want to jeopardize your friendship or the rate of rent he's asking you to pay, but if he really is your friend, he'll understand that you're entitled to your privacy. I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate you walking into his home, whether on your own or with a friend, unannounced. If he can't respect your wishes, he's not a friend.
Firstly, let him know how you truly feel! Let him know that there is something that you want to talk to him about and that it's been bothering your for a while, but that you were hestitant to say anything because you don't want it to harm your friendship. Take it from there...
A true friend would understand (and maybe even be embarrassed that this didn't occur to them in the first place!).
2007-09-29 11:31:56 · answer #2 · answered by milly 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What a tough situation! Ask to talk to him for a moment, and tell him that your fine with him coming in, but you would rather he came when you are around. Make sure he understands that he can NOT bring in friends without your permission. He isn't showing you any respect by just walking into your home without talking to you first, and you need to make it clear that you aren't comfortable with this. As for what he's doing... are you sure you can trust him? Could he be steeling you things? Does he seem to have moved anything? You really need to have a serious talk about privacy.
2007-09-29 11:56:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most laws state he's not allowed in without giving you 24 hrs notice at least. This is plain wrong. You can ask him politely to NOT come in. and then, if nothing works, I'd suggest you move out and find another place.
Your decision as to whether or not you decide to continue renovating for him.
good luck
2007-09-29 10:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by teritaur 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you need to inform your friend about this concern. I get the feeling that he is too comfortable with you that he doesn't sense anything wrong. If you really treat each other as good friends then by all means - talk to him. Be honest and sincere about your feelings. Express how uncomfortable it feels for unannounced visits. Let him know how much the friendship is important to you (aside from the deals/income) and how much you want to avoid misunderstandings.
2007-10-03 08:44:02 · answer #5 · answered by addicted too 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that he just enjoy someone else's space. For some reason, some people feel that other people's things are cleaner than theirs so they enjoy it. Or maybe he feels that you two are so close that you wouldn't mind.
If you're really discomforting about this, you should talk to him about it. Problem don't get solved by you just sitting there. Change the locks, move out, anything. Just do something if it's bothering you.
2007-09-29 10:19:24 · answer #6 · answered by aquarius7air 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um. change the locks then say...when he notices...yeah i had an intruder the other day and some stuff was missing. if he asks for a key say.."you want a key to my home?" and just let it hang in the air. if he says yeah. ask why. if he wants to look around or show people around tell him perhaps you can arrange a time when you are home. then follow all the nasty up with..hey..are we still on for beers this weekend?
2007-09-29 17:31:08 · answer #7 · answered by darkling 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he as good a friend as you say he is you should tell him how you feel about. He must feel very comfortable in your home. But that don't give him the right to make himself at home when you aren't there and certainly not to bring other in with him. Good luck.
2007-09-29 10:28:35 · answer #8 · answered by Aunt Doobie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say to him very nicely, since I am renting from you how about letting me know when you want to came round, or show people through the apartment of the renovations we did.
That should work
2007-09-29 11:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by MariaAntonietta 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What you do is to kindly explain to him that although you are good friends, you are not comfortable with him just entering your abode at will so to speak.
Just explain that your expectation when renting the unit was to have a right to privacy which includes no one entering the premises without your knowledge and consent. Explain to him that it is nothing personal, just that he must understand that while you are renting the premises, they are, to all intents and purposes, (legally) yours.
2007-09-29 10:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by Adviso 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋