marriage islam?

Question

ima 17yr old female muslim id like to get married to a 19ry old my parents dont concent as hes black and hes not rich but i want to be with him because of his deen, hes a great mulism b4 i met him he didnt believe in god, i thought him how to pray and and what islams about and i fell in love with him. but because im not 18 can i marry him?

Answer 1

It doesn't matter if you are a Muslim or not. Just reading your question shows you are not ready to be married. You are too young, too immature, too uneducated. Your parents sound even worse, racist and shallow. Grow up some more. Get an education and if you feel the same way in a couple of years, then you are free to get married. Good luck.

God Bless.

Answer 2

its nice to see people have left some good advice on here, but plz THINK before taking any drastic steps fpor marriage, i know your feelings for him will grow stronger and stronger and the more if someone else is against your decision to be with that person..it only make you the more stronger.

Think about your age too..your education, you both still have a long time ahead of you, you can still learn more from life, from your own deen . from each other. Colour shouldnt even come into to it as Islam does not see colour, theres the one unity amongst the ummah thats more important.

I think that you should both wait a while, talk to your parents, or talk to other members of the family and explain how you feel for him and your intentions, Im sure there is somebody understanding amongst you, also you will NOT be doing anything wrong either by going against your parents desicion when it comes to marriage, as you CANNOT be forced into another marriage/relationship against YOUR will. You are entirely FREE to marry someone who's also a practising Muslim even if your parents dont like it...having said that too, THINK about what the person above has said..

My BEST advice for you, considering your age...think things carefully, marriage is a BIIIG commitment too, sort out your education first, a good job maybe.

Good luck.

Answer 3

At 18 you are free to marry without your parents consent . At 16 or 17 you need their permission. It is great to be young and in love .

My warning to you is this : You say he converted to Islam after he met you . Some men will pretend to be a Christian / Muslim or Jew , just to get into a girls’ Knickers.

What disturbs me most is that your parents do not want you to marry him because his is black and poor. Your parents are both Racist and Materialistic. Maybe marrying this man and removing yourself from your parents influences could be the best decision you can make.

I would suggest you test your Fiancee and tell him you have lost your faith and have become and Atheist , then see if he continues to pray and go to the Mosque on his own , he won’t be able to keep the pretence up for more than a few months .

Answer 4

Hi, being a Christian, I admit to having not full knowledge of Islamic traditions, although I lived in the Mid-East for many a year, learnt Arabic, and followed local customs.
Indeed I was invited to a local wedding in Oman, where the couple were about 24-26, and are still happily married.

However, I would say that in any culture, marrying at 17-19 is too young. By all means stick together until your mid-twenties before commiting your lives to each other.

I married at the age of 26, after living with my wife-to-be for 7 years. Perhaps "co-habiting" is frowned upon in a muslim environment, but it worked for us as a testing ground to feel happy with each other before marriage.

We now have two fine children, and all is well.

Love is a fine thing, but do not let it run away with your emotions. Give it time to cement the bond first.

All the best,

Bob

Answer 5

Salaamun alikum

My Dear Sister in Islaam


1. His Deen much more important.
2. Did he have a job?
3. How long (since when)?IE Few months or year or more then year? If you know him not long enough then thing twice.
4. His education is same as you or not?
5. You and him like minded or not?
5. Do you his parent?
6. Did he have accommodation?

Then Bismillah no problem

Fiamaanillah
Have a Nice Ramdhaan

Ps.http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=84102&ln=eng&txt=love%20marriage

Answer 6

love can make you hurry into marriage without thinking it over
don't you want to live a decent life? don't you want a good future for your children? have you got any idea how expensive married life is?
did you know you cannot get married in islam a proper marriage without parental consent? even if a muslim judge granted you marriage don't you want your children to know your parents? you will need your mother more when you start arguing and believe me all happily married couples have arguments, but only if they are mature enough will they be able to work out all their differences.
if he really is a good muslim and a mature person who loves you then he will show you respect and wait until your parents consent or until both of you graduated from college with stable jobs to get married.
sweetie as an older sister i urge you to think this over and over, i'm a muslim woman and saw what happened to girls who married older guys after dropping out of high school or college, even if they were 18 they were still too young.
if you want to be happily married with a stable life you need to get an education and a stable job , only then will you be confident enough to be able to take care of yourself and others. until then let your parents take care of you and help you decide no one loves you and wants the best for you as they do , not even the guy you want to marry.

Answer 7

I know this is not what you want to hear. You are letting your emotions take over your mind. Think about this, if 95% of people here on yahoo answers are telling you that you should wait, dont you think that there must be something to our popular advice? Keep praying and ask ALLAH. Put your trust in ALLAH. When I was asking GOD to match me with a husband to perfectly match me in every way, I had prayed and waited for 3 months, until i got my definate message
(i was 33yrs). I was totally convinced, if you ask GOD and be patient AND have full trust in GOD..... HE will provide to what HE sees fit.

On another note.....not every guy has matured enough to take on the "family" responsibility. Make sure that the one you are planning to marry gets a really good education for a great career to support yourselves in your new life. To get everything that the both of you need. Make sure you will have health care, so that your medical needs are taken care of such as pregnancy, before, during and after. You wont be able to have prenatal doctor visits every month if you dont have health insurance. Unless you plan to be on birth control, even then you have to have the doctor visits. If you do live in America, paying for health insurance is very hard and expensive, and still is a task when you have a very good job with a company that has great health insurance coverage.

Here..... PLEASSSSE DO THIS..... make a list of ALLLLL the immediate necessary things you will definately need.
• monthly rent/mortgage
• monthly electric and/or gas bills and if you have a water bill
• monthly home phone line and/or cell phone
• monthly transportation money (bus, taxi fare or gas)
• dishes/cookware/furnature
• monthly food money (usually is about $200 a month for 2 people)
• toletries (feminine pads, soap, deoderant, shampoo etc...
• health insurance (is very expensive in America. Dont know where exactly what country you are in, but there are still medical bills)

And if you can think of anything else that you cannot live without monthly then put that down. If you dont plan ahead.... you will have a very bad fall in many levels.
Please make a list. Usually if you tell a guy that you need a supporting career either for you or for him to save money to get your new home and keep it and he needs to wait for you. This will be a test to see if he will wait for you and show that he really loves you. AND just because he tells you, "yeah, I'll wait for you." does not mean he truely means it, or he will change his mind a half a year later or so. Verbal contracts....Saying, "I Love you" is not enough. "I Love You" is used very loosely now a days.

Good luck
~Assalamu Alaykuum

Answer 8

Take the words of parents. Remember they are more experianced and must have knowledge in these matters. They brought up you and they know what is best for you. What you as a youngster may think only to fulfill a present dream without looking at your future. Many girls end up in problems later in life by marrying someone who just admired her. So marriage is something you will have to take concent of your parents. Do Ishthikhara Prayers. Seek Help from Allah. A guy with Deen today might turn a differant one tomorrow. Also check the standards of one's family, wealth, beauty (doesn't mean color, say healthy and fit), Deen. But preferance is for one's Deen. My advice is that you obey your parents and be patient. We are asked to obey our parents in all matters except for sins even if one's parents are non-Muslims. It doesn't mean they can force you to a marriage you don't want. Ultimately marriage is your choice. Allah will open better ways for you if you turn to Him. Then if this guy is the best for you, Allah will surely make easy and good ways for your marriage without going against your parents or relatives. His ways of Help, He alone knows.


http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?ref=84102&ln=eng&txt=love%20marriage

Answer 9

You are at the point of age, where your decisions may probably may go wrong in long run, and in this case you have to follow your parents, as they are more experienced than you and have seen the world in their years.
Getting married at 17 is not a problem as much as selecting a right husband. Well as a muslim you have preffered his deen rather his color. But then he is just 19, and I think that your parents are concerned about his financial position, as they are concerned about your future. Love only cannot feed you, as a husband in Islam is to the bread-earner.
As a Muslim brother, I advice you to do "Salah tul Istikhara" (http://www.islamicacademy.org/html/Dua/How_to_do_Istakhara.htm) rather asking your question here, as there could be many Non-Muslims here who may misguide you.

"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood." (17:23)

May Allah help you take the wright decision which is good for your Akhirath and save you from the fire of hell.....Aameen

Answer 10

You know nothing about Islam.

The primary condition for marriage is maturity and not the age of 18 years.

Age limits are imposed by some Muslim countries according to their customs and cultures.

Such foolish questions invite some barking dogs who are ignorant about Islam and blame prophet of God.
I don't know from where they learn about 9 years old girl.

According to Islamic scholars the age of Ayesha was 16 or 17 years when she marries the prophet Muhammad.